Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The ultimate in toilet technology...


Who knew having water spraying your butt could make people so happy? Toto has been making fancy toilets for years, and now their website "Clean Is Happy" makes me feel like I've really been missing out on the secret to utter happiness based on the flash videos of the six spokespeople above.

Personally, I can't imagine their little magic wand would be enough to thoroughly clean my tush. I'd still be tempted to wipe after. And I often don't have enough patience to use the hand dryers in restrooms--how long will it take for that thing to dry out my crack?

And that, my friends, is the poop post of the week. Thank you. Good night!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

After watching the video, I can't help bu think that the happiness comes from something other than a clean tushy. Consider the word usage of the second girl. She says you can choose between different settings such as pulsating and oscillating. The first girl talks about there being a dryer button. I mean come on ... warm air blown on your privates. There is even a frontal positioning.

I know where the happiness comes from.

Dutch said...

Um, how about a NSFW tag on this? I clicked the link and a bunch of butts came up on my 21" screen.

Swany said...

Ah, so that's why they've got those grins on their faces.

What's wrong with a few bare bottoms? You're just worried everyone at work is going to think you drew those smiley faces on them.

Wander said...

He's just grumpy Swany, turn the other cheek.

Dutch said...

I can make a point without being grumpy.

Now I'm grumpy.

Nah, I just have my back to the door, and a big display. So if anyone walks by my door they'll see me looking at butts on my screen. That could be a negative career move for me.

Dutch said...

So I shrunk the window and watched the video. Man, they are so mamby pamby about talking about poop and poop-related subjects in that promo.

"The washlet replaces this stuff." (holds up a roll of toilet paper)

What? You can't say toilet paper?

"How do I know that the water won't fall back on the wand?" I think question is really, "will the washlet just spray my shit all over the place?"

"The washlet changes bad air into good air. No one will know you were even there."

Well that's great - it cleans up the shit smell. Maybe if you make it out of acoustic foam, it would silence the grunts, farts, and splashes. I could be a true stealth pooper.

Having said all that, I'm actually really considering buying the washlet. For me it's more the discomfort of contributing to deforestation more than anything. It would be nice to think that I'm finally no longer wiping my ass with the future of the environment.

Swany said...

Or you could do as Sheryl Crow apparently does, and limit yourself to one square. Yeah, right.