ANIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!

No rhyme or reason for this video--I just thought it was cool:

Why do things that sound like they should be disgusting sound so good?

[Photo:  Don Ipock for The New York Times]

According to this article from The New York Times, "well over 16,000 web sites have linked to the [Bacon Explosion] recipe," yet I hadn't heard about this ode to the pig until today.  This smoked combination of woven pieces of bacon wrapped around Italian sausage was the brain-child of two guys in Kansas who were challenged to come up with something amazing to do with bacon and a barbecue.

Now part of my brain is saying, "Oh man, that looks like an absolutely disgusting mess of fat and grease."  Yet, most of my brain is saying, "Oh man, that looks like heaven on a plate.  Baaaaaaacon.  Drool."

If I had a backyard to try this, I would actually be tempted to barbecue this up.  The recipe from The New York Times:

Time: About 3 hours

2 pounds thick-cut sliced bacon
1 1/2 pounds Italian sausage, casings removed
3 tablespoons barbecue rub
3/4 cup barbecue sauce.

1. Using 10 slices of bacon, weave a square lattice like that on top of a pie: first, place 5 bacon slices side by side on a large sheet of aluminum foil, parallel to one another, sides touching. Place another strip of bacon on one end, perpendicular to the other strips. Fold first, third and fifth bacon strips back over this new strip, then place another strip next to it, parallel to it. Unfold first, third and fifth strips; fold back second and fourth strips. Repeat with remaining bacon until all 10 strips are tightly woven.

2. Preheat oven to 225 degrees or light a fire in an outdoor smoker. Place remaining bacon in a frying pan and cook until crisp. As it cooks, sprinkle bacon weave with 1 tablespoon barbecue rub. Evenly spread sausage on top of bacon lattice, pressing to outer edges.

3. Crumble fried bacon into bite-size pieces. Sprinkle on top of sausage. Drizzle with 1/2 cup barbecue sauce and sprinkle with another tablespoon barbecue rub.

4. Very carefully separate front edge of sausage layer from bacon weave and begin rolling sausage away from you. Bacon weave should stay where it was, flat. Press sausage roll to remove any air pockets and pinch together seams and ends.

5. Roll sausage toward you, this time with bacon weave, until it is completely wrapped. Turn it so seam faces down. Roll should be about 2 to 3 inches thick. Sprinkle with remaining barbecue rub.

6. Place roll on a baking sheet in oven or in smoker. Cook until internal temperature reaches 165 degrees on a meat thermometer, about 1 hour for each inch of thickness. When done, glaze roll with more sauce. To serve, slice into 1/4-to- 1/2-inch rounds.

Yield: 10 or more servings.

You guys don't understand me at all...

Gong Xi Fai Cai!  It's the Year of the Ox!

This is an especially auspicious year for me, since by the Chinese calendar, I was born in the Year of the Ox.  I don't know if you believe in any of the tellings of the Chinese zodiac and what your time of birth says about you, but I decided to look up "Ox" on Wikipedia.  

Apparently positive traits of the Ox include:  "responsible, dependable, honest, caring, honourable, intelligent, artistic, industrious, practical."

Negative traits of the Ox include: "petty, inflexible, possessive, dogmatic, gullible, stubborn, critical, intolerant, materialistic."

In some respects, that sounds exactly like me, and in others, nothing like me.  I'd ask the Kool-Aid Gang about whether they thought there was any truth to this, but then I looked a step further to who the Ox is apparently compatible with. To my horror, I found this:

Ox and TIGER
Personality clashes and bitter rivalry. No understanding of each other. Animosities and mutual distrust. Unable to resolve their differences.

Given that most of the Kool-Aid Gang are Tigers by the Chinese zodiac, that alarmed me. Given that my wife is a Tiger, well, that explains a lot of the arguments we have. ;-)

Oh well.  What does a stupid horoscope know?  I think I missed the cutoff to be a Tiger by only a few days anyway.  

Happy Chinese New Year to you all!  Hope you were able to celebrate better than me.  No lucky dumplings or long life noodles for me at dinner.  Instead, I browsed around Costco and got the "$1.50 hot dog and a Coke" special.  Yum.

Is it luck or is it destiny?

When I put together my Top 10 Movies of 2008 list earlier this month, I still hadn't seen Slumdog Millionaire.  I had heard Wild Willie heap quite a bit of praise onto the film over New Years, and after it beat out heavyweights for the Best Dramatic Motion Picture award at the Golden Globes, I was even more intrigued to know what I had missed.  Well, I just might agree with Willie on this one--I'm revising my list and placing this at number one.  

Now I haven't tried to hide the fact that I'm a sucker for romance.  It's a genre that if done right, seems to hit a deep chord that moves me in ways that no other type of film can.  This seems like it should be a natural feeling about good romantic films in general, though.  After all, what gives us the most joy in life if not love?  In Slumdog Millionaire, director Danny Boyle takes us on a journey of love in a most unconventional way. 

The film opens with a young man named Jamal being tortured by the police as they try and figure out how he cheated to get to the penultimate round of India's version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire.  Jamal is a "slumdog," a kid who grew up in the ghettos of Mumbai with the lowest social class of India's poor.  Most scientists, doctors, and lawyers couldn't even get past the 50,000 rupees stage, so how could a slumdog know so much if he didn't cheat?  Using the game show as a backdrop, Jamal tells his life story.  As a result, we learn how he came up with the correct answers and why he became a contestant on the show in the first place (hint: it wasn't for money).  

Relative newcomers Dev Patel (Jamal), Freida Pinto (Latika), and the rest of the supporting cast do a fine job in their roles.  However, this isn't a movie that relies on star power or heavy acting.  Instead, Danny Boyle keeps us riveted to the story and really is the one who makes us care about Jamal and his destiny.  Boyle is fast becoming one of the most versatile directors in the business and adept at mastering various genres of film. I've been amazed that a guy that first got noticed making such a dark movie like Trainspotting could go on to make a family-oriented film like Millions, sci-fi/horror like 28 Days Later, and now an uplifting romance picture like Slumdog Millionaire.  The original score by A.R. Rahman also has a prominent and vital role in providing a soul to the film.  The music never seems intrusive or over-the-top, yet invokes just the right amount of mood to let your own emotions take over.  I've often said in the movie reviews I write on this blog that memorable original music soundtracks are sorely missing in films these days.  Glad to see that someone remembered that great filmmaking needs great music, too.  

Now some could argue that Slumdog Millionaire, despite some of the harsh realities of Indian poverty portrayed in the film, isn't grounded in reality at all.  One might have to suspend some amount of disbelief to think that the questions posed to Jamal on the gameshow are in the exact same order as they pertain to events in his life.  One might complain that the bond between Jamal and Latika isn't properly developed.  And in some ways, I might agree with that.  Yet, the film's primary argument, that we all have a destiny, gives us the reason to believe what's going on.  This is the kind of film where I gladly buy into the central premise wholeheartedly, and check reality at the door.  In some sense, it is giving a glimpse of the true reality of the human condition, our despair and hope, anger and happiness, loss and love. It's a magical movie that can't be missed.  Maybe we do have a destiny waiting for us all.  Maybe it is written.

Funny how I hate dancing, but I dig dance music...

Lemon got this Ladyhawke CD over New Years which has a pretty cool 80's nostalgic vibe to it. I listen to it thinking it sounds just like someone from the 80's, but can't seem to place it.

Anywho, I liked this music video from her single "Dusk Till Dawn," especially the t-shirts that morph from the predictably frightening like "Ghost" and "Werewolf" to even more scarier things like "Your Mother" and "Burt Reynolds."

He's super cool and knows kung fu...

I was thinking Watchmen or Star Trek was my most anticipated movie for 2009, but after seeing this trailer for a low budget movie recently picked up by Sony Pictures at Sundance this month, I'm revising my list--BLACK DYNAMITE! A few seconds of NSFW nudity and occassional profanity:

My name is Deja Vu. Haven't we met somewhere before?

The Academy Awards nominees were announced today, and I guess it wasn't a surprise that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button got an Oscar nomination for Best Picture. And considering Forrest Gump won before, I figure Button must be a lock.  I still say David Fincher's movie was nice to watch, but didn't strike a deep chord with me.  What am I missing that everyone else seems to see?

And I can't believe The Dark Knight didn't pick up a Best Picture nod and Revolutionary Road was practically overlooked.  The Academy Awards suck.

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

Is it just me or does this sound kind of generic?

It seems others are interested in fancy toilets too!

Catching a blip on cnbc.com today made me curious. It seems that the former Merrill CEO, Thain, was ousted by Bank of America today. There aren't any reasons I know of that have been directly stated but it seems that he was a pretty extravagant spender. It has only been about a month since his firm was taken over by BofA and he decided to spend $1.22 million on his new office. After reading through the list of improvements I was struck with one line item. A commode on legs costing $35,115. I decided to find out what could be so nice about a commode on legs and a quick google search revealed the following option.

Its price tag was much lower than what Thain spent though. I can hear Firecracker George saying, "It better reach up and give you a massage for that price." Of course, I believe it might come out a little less polite than that.

No, this is not a joke...

There are moments when I love PETA.  This is typically when they're all about putting up ads of hot naked women with nothing but strategically placed veggies to cover up their naughty bits.  But most of the time I think they're a bit too radical and border on insane.  Case in point--their new campaign to rename fish as sea kittens:

Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You've done enough damage, buddy. We've got it from here. And we're going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it's time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Personally, I kind of hate cats, so this campaign actually probably has the opposite effect of what they're proposing.  

Now I'm hungry for sushi. 

The Clone Wars Animated Series

Last fall the Cartoon Network started a series on the Clone Wars. I am sure that everyone was aware of it, but I have been surprised that I haven't heard from anyone else in the gang that they are watching it. So ... I decided to put up a review about it.

Each episode is a short 30 minutes, which translates to about 22 minutes of actual show time. Star Wars the Clone Wars is set in between Episodes II and III as far as I can tell, and the shows are a much more thorough set-up to Episode III than the iconic scrolling words you find at the beginning of that movie.

You get much more exposure to other characters that you hoped for from the films. While I enjoyed the movies, I felt like they lacked significantly. There didn't seem to be the mysterious element found in Episodes IV and V. General Grevious had so much potential, but didn't really do it for me. In the series on TV, however, you get a deeper look into who Grevious was and is. I have only watched the first 10 episodes, and the last one was entitled Lair of Grevious which reveals some fascinating character history. This was the sort of thing I loved about Boba Fett and his Mandalorian armor. There was some character history there, but not enough to give you the whole story. Plus what was there often had to be read between lines. In the Lair of Grevious you get glimpses at statues of ancient warriors in battle. Each successive statue looks to be a transforming version of the previous one, and each one has similarities to what Grevious looks like. Interesting indeed. You also get to watch other Jedis in battle and on missions. Its like being a kid all over agian in the Star Wars universe.

Most of the episodes have been very enjoyable. They all start in a similar fashion to the movies. Instead of scrolling text to set up the current story, they start with a one line proverb of sorts. Then each episode reveals the truth behind the proverb. There are times where it is a little too hokey with the padawan learners or newly knighted masters still showing there immaturity. This really has been my biggest if not my only disappointment to the shows. I can't imagine that you would make it into the jedi fold with such undisciplined thoughts and actions, but maybe this is just the writers way of showing the jedi losing there ability.

I would highly recommend watching the series. In a strange sort of way it has given me some of that excitement I was missing from the movies. From what I understand you can watch episodes on the Cartoon Network. Let me know what you think.

Yaybia

After trying to figure out what the Tiddy Bear was (an "As Seen on TV" product that makes for a more comfortable seat belt), I came across this funny video. I kept laughing and I figured yall would laugh too. NSFW

All you need is four chords?

I guess balloon animals aren't even innocent anymore...

I guess this is sort of NSFW, but too hilarious not to share.  Be warned it involves balloon animals made out of Durex condoms and a lot of squeaking.

R.I.P. Ricardo Montalban...

In honor of perhaps one of the greatest villains of movie history, turn up the volume and click over here.

Watching this may either hurt your New Year's resolution or help it...

Given his family's penchant for relatively healthy eating, I'm guessing Fandango may have never eaten here when he was living in Arizona. I thought this video might make me hungry, but it actually made me a bit nauseous thinking about trying to eat their 8000 calorie quadruple bypass burger:


Watch CBS Videos Online

I guess all those fake crop circles threw off their navigation...

Either he's got ADHD or he's weak in the Force...

Personally, I'd just like to learn that Jedi power of suggestion, but I guess telekinesis could be cool, too. 

From USA Today:

The Force Trainer (expected to be priced at $90 to $100) comes with a headset that uses brain waves to allow players to manipulate a sphere within a clear 10-inch-tall training tower, analogous to Yoda and Luke Skywalker's abilities in the Star Wars films.

Porsches are not only fast, they're really sneaky...

So I was reading this blog post about how Porsche screwed the hedge fund market and unintentionally led one man to take his own life.  This is probably up Wild Willie's area of expertise, so I'll direct the question to him:  I know the financial market should be able to have some freedom in how it conducts it's business, but how is short-selling still a legal way of making money?  It just seems about the equivalent of a card counter in Vegas--essentially gambling with knowing a few insider things to give you an edge.  

Love is a battlefield...

Marraige, at times, feels like a war.  After the veil of newlywed bliss falls away, we gradually see our spouses in an exposing light that didn't seem to exist before.  Odd habits, mildly annoying mannerisms, character traits that you thought would magically change once you said your "I do's."  Eventually, this leads to conflicts, and in an argument where you know all of your "enemy's" secrets, the fight can get quite ugly.  When we overcome our natural instincts to protect our pride and insecurities, these conflicts can bring out the best of us.  But more often it draws out the basest feelings that hide in our soul. It's this sort of personal understanding that makes watching Revolutionary Road so painful.

In the original book the film was adapted from, Richard Yates succintly sums up the sheer ugliness of marital discord in describing a fight the main protaganists Frank and Alice Wheeler have in the opening chapter:

Then the fight went out of control. It quivered their arms and legs and wrenched their faces into shapes of hatred, it urged them harder and deeper into each other's weak points, showing them cunning ways around each other's strongholds and quick chances to switch tactics, feint, and strike again. In the space of a gasp for breath it sent their memories racing back over the years for weapons to rip the scabs off old wounds; it went on and on.

The entire movie feels something like this.  I felt myself almost wincing throughout just waiting for the whole disastrous relationship to finally fall apart.  It's like watching a race knowing the mechanic sabotaged the car, or like a horror movie except the terror comes from wondering what issues Frank and Alice are dealing with that will ring too true to real life and reflect something I've faced in my own marital life.

The Wheelers are portrayed as the perfect American couple.  Frank with his comfortable city desk job, Alice with her comfortable homemaker role, two cute children, perfect picture-window house--all a facade hiding a much more troubled pair who feel trapped in an ordinary world of suburban conformity.  The unfortunate thing is that they can't come to the honest conclusion that perhaps they aren't as extraordinary as they think they are.  And maybe they aren't as in love as they think they are.  Real life comes too quickly for them.  An accidental pregnancy forces them to marry early.  Practicality forces them to move out of the excitement of the city and into the suburbs.  Even when they finally decide to escape their mediocre life and move to Paris, reality still  seems to get in their way.  It's a universal obstacle we all face, coming to grips with the loss of the freedom and fun of married life before the realities of economics and responsibility set in.

The movie actually doesn't offer much in the way of redeeming qualities for either of the Wheelers, and it's a bit of clever casting, I think, that gets us to actually empathize with them.  After all, what love story do most of us know better than Kate and Leo from Titanic?  It's like we go into the theater already feeling like we know their backstory and all the romance that led up to their pairing.  All the better to get us watching so that it can all be torn apart.  Kate Winslet won the Golden Globe for her role last night as the wife coming to the realization that her life isn't what she wanted it to be, and I can understand why.  Even Leonardo DiCaprio, who has steadily improved his acting skills with each new movie he makes, comes out with a very believable interpretation of a guy with lofty words trying to hide a fear of inadequacy.  The adaptation as a whole seems to stay true to the source material, and Sam Mendes direction seems flawless.  

This is definitely not a movie to see if you're having major marital problems.  It paints a rather bleak picture about marraige, and gives us no glimmer of hope anything good that comes out of that bond.   I left Revolutionary Road feeling like I had seen perhaps one of the best movies of 2009, yet at the same time felt almost afraid to discuss much about it with my spouse afterwards because perhaps too much of it hit too close to home.  It's an ugly movie--and oddly I mean that in a very good way.

Swany's Top 10 Movies of 2008...

So this will be the third year in a row that the cinema has disappointed me.  Most of the movies that I thought would give me geeky glee (e.g. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The X-Files: I Want to Believe) kind of fell flat, and it continues to be a long wait for that next masterpiece film that will be remembered for years and years to come.  That being said, there were some standout films that I enjoyed this year:

1. [Addendum] Slumdog Millionaire - When I initially put this list together, I hadn't seen this film.  Original plot, excellent score, moving romance, uplifting message.  Forget what I said about this being a horrible year for masterpiece films that I'll remember for years--this movie was wonderful.  It makes me wonder why people like Titanic so much when there's movies like this around that are so much better.
2. The Dark Knight - This has perhaps redefined what a comic-book movie can be.  Comic book geeks have always made the argument that certain comics and graphic novels could be considered great literature, and this film proves that they can be inspirations for great films.
   
3. Iron Man - Not only was this a spectacular film to watch, it was actually fun without being stupid.  This was almost on par with the great superhero movies like Superman, Spiderman, and The Dark Knight, except the final climactic battle was a bit of a letdown.
   
4. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - The closest thing to art on film I've seen in awhile.  Very moving, and reminds us all not to take life for granted.
   
5. WALL*E - Another magical slamdunk from Pixar, and shows the power of the moving picture to evoke strong emotions without even needing dialogue.
   
6. There Will Be Blood - "I drink your milkshake!"  It's worth seeing again and again for Daniel Day-Lewis alone.
   
7. Definitely, Maybe - A sweet romantic comedy that didn't resort to the usual formula.
   
8. Body of Lies - Reinforces the impersonal nature the war on terror has become to most of us here in the United States, while it's a very personal and daily experience for those abroad in the Middle East.
   
9. In Bruges - Probably a movie you missed (and even one that I only saw because there wasn't anything else remotely interesting at the theaters at the time).  It's humorous, a little violent, and very entertaining--I highly recommending renting it.  
10. Tell No One - Everyone tries to emulate Hitchcock, but this actually got it right.  
    
11. The Reader - And not just because Kate Winslet is naked for half the film.  When you turn a blind eye to atrocities you know are happening, can you really claim innocence?  Some overriding questions that seem applicable not only to the Germans during World War II, but all of us who witness evil in the world and perhaps do nothing to stop it.

Potential movies that I didn't get a chance to see yet but might have cracked the Top 10:

Frost/Nixon

Slumdog Millionaire

The Wrestler

Worst movie (perhaps ever):  The Happening

Granted, I had just watched that SNL short "Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals," and busted out laughing when Marky Mark uttered his first lines in the movie.  But when he starts actually talking TO A PLANT?!  

Biggest surprise:  Twilight

I wasn't dragged kicking and screaming to see this film, but I wasn't expecting much. Surprisingly, I thought the vampire angle was kind of clever for an abstinence/sex can wait message.

Biggest disappointment:  (Tie) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull vs. Quantum of Solace vs. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Indiana Jones and James Bond are perhaps my favorite franchise film characters of all time.  I enjoyed both films, but neither seemed to live up to expectations.  In the case of Benjamin Button, it was a great looking film that was entertaining to watch, but never really moved me emotionally as much as I think it was trying to.  Whatever overriding message they were trying to convey was lost on me. 

What I'm looking forward to in 2009:

1. Watchmen - I watched a Japanese trailer on the internet recently, and was even more stoked.  Let's just hope 20th Century Fox doesn't muck it up and keep this from being released.
   
2. Star Trek - I'm so ready to come back to the Star Trek universe.
   
3. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - This will either be really good or really bad.  
   
4. Terminator Salvation - I'm usually not a big fan of these franchise sequels that I feel have run too long (I thought they should have stopped at Terminator 2), but truth be told, I think I sort of have a man-crush on Christian Bale.  Actually, I think my wife has a crush on the guy, too--is that weird?
   
5. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Giant f@$&'in robots!
   
6. Nottingham - Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe, Robin Hood.  'Nuff said.
   
7. Public Enemies - Michael Mann, Christian Bale, Johnny Depp, John Dillinger.  'Nuff said, part 2.  Can anyone think of a Michael Mann movie that wasn't good?

So what do you think? Agree? Disagree?

The pen is mightier than the sword. The RED pen that is...

I thought this was from The Onion, at first.  At some point in time, I'm guessing the practice of even pointing out mistakes will become too psychologically damaging to a young child's development (which I think someone in this article almost inferred).  I was actually surprised this nonsense didn't originate from the U.S.  From The Daily Telegraph:

Marking in red ink banned in case it upsets schoolchildren
Hundreds of schools have banned their teachers from marking in red ink in case it upsets the children.

They are scrapping the traditional method of correcting work because they consider it "confrontational" and "threatening".

Pupils increasingly find that the ticks and crosses on their homework are in more soothing shades like green, blue, pink and yellow or even in pencil.

Traditionalists have condemned the ban sweeping classrooms as "absolutely barmy", "politically correct" and "trendy".

They insist that red ink makes it easier for children to spot errors and improve.

The red pen goes back further than most schools, having been developed during the mid-19th century when ammonia-based dyes became available.

But the opposition to using red ink is now a worldwide trend with recent guidelines to schools in Queensland, Australia warning that the colour can damage students psychologically.

Of course, if this theory was actually true, I figure I should have been one of the more confident students in our class given the fact that I was a pretty good student and had less red marks on my papers than most.  

Lego Artist: Yeah, this was probably the job I was supposed to have.

I can't say it any better than the article. Check it out here.