Friday, June 15, 2007

Wank's comment got me thinking.

I read the transcription of the M.A.S.K. theme song thanks to Wank's encyclopedic knowledge of all things television from the 70's and 80's, and realized what a truly retarded song it is. Eh, I guess songwriter's don't exactly put their heart and soul into cartoon jingles.

So I was thinking about other old theme songs that might be equally as pathetic, and came up with the Wonder Woman theme song. I dug it up on the interweb:


Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.

In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.

Make a hawk a dove,
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth.

Wonder Woman,
Get us out from under, Wonder Woman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do.

Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fall,
Change their minds, and change the world.

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
You're a wonder, Wonder Woman.

Surprisingly not as bad as I had expected it to be. The mention of her satin tights seems more than a little gooney, but other than that it doesn't seem too odd.

I used to be a huge fan of the old show when I was three. I was even Wonder Woman for Halloween, which confused my neighbors ("I thought she was a boy," they must've said) and disappointed my brother because he wanted us to be Starsky and Hutch. I caught it again about ten years ago on FX, and other than appreciating Linda Carter in a whole new way, I found the show painfully awful.

So M.A.S.K. still holds the title of worst theme song. Does anyone else have a contender in mind?

3 comments:

Wander said...

Worst theme song? I'll think about it. Going to be hard to beat M.A.S.K.
Best theme song- No challenge.
CHARLES IN CHARGE, baby!

Swany said...

I think your brother was just disappointed because you dressed up as a girl.

There were rumours that Joss Whedon of Serenity and Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame was trying to get a Wonder Woman movie off the ground. There were also these pictures of Kate Beckinsale dressed up as Wonder Woman last Halloween that were smoking hot to give fanboys some idea of what a modern day Wonder Woman might look like.

As far as theme songs go, I'm surprised we're all not ultraconservative hawks like Cheney and Rumsfeld given we grew up on G.I. Joe. "He'll fight for freedom wherever there's trouble, G.I. Joe is theeeere!" Talk about childhood propoganda...

Dutch said...

My brother was, is, and probably always will be disappointed in me because I'm not who he wants me to be. But in the sage words of Popeye, "I yam what I yam."