Serendipity Do Dah

As the fates would have it, Mrs. Wander, or as she would likely call herself were she to begin contributing to this blog of the damned, Tellulah, was away on business for the past week and had to fly home today. The day after allegedly the biggest almost attack was or was not successfully thwarted, or not, by a force and/or forces stronger then the religious/hateful/insane/insert additional adjectives terrorist/nutjob/extremist/insert additional nouns. In other words, she picked the wrong day to come home to daddy. I awoke to nothing on NPR yesterday morning but news of this massive almost event, and reports making it sound like the end of all airtravel as we know it for sometime as massive delays created dessicated skeletons throughout tumbleweed-blown airport terminals across the world. I, who is normally of sound mind and fierce suspicion of all things governmentally warning in anyway, (especially since the "Terrorist Alert Color Code" has not been used once since the puppet was reelected but was escalated with much grim and sorry predictions more then twenty times the 6 months before the election) I, the coolest of the cool, actually experienced the fear so many of the normal, albeit zombified, citizens experience when fed such sensationalistic stories from the government teat. But, I had a loved one, THE loved one, in danger. I would drive and get her if I had to I thought. Hell, I would do it in a Volkswagen beetle, filled with wasps, and bears, and Dick Cheney swatting at the whole damned mess just to rile it all up while he explained to me how Halliburton didn't get all those fat government contracts because he once shat where they shat. For her, I would do it. So , I prepared for the worst while hoping for the best just as all our pioneering forefathers and mothers had to once upon a time, when there really were things to worry about at our doorstep, like small pox, and getting scalped. With a flurry of calls throughout the day yesterday I asked her if they would let her leave early, if their itinerary for today had changed. Would they let her get to the airport early enough to hack through the droves of stranded, hungry travelers, with fear in their eyes, and the word 'Brainssss' on their lips? Was she coming home? No changes she related. Then later, word came they were going to the airport earlier today, to have more time to fight through the crushing crowds of the diseased and forgotten with machete and flamethrower I assumed. Finally after fretting through the day at work, and leaving early to have plenty of time to get to the airport over roads surely mined with Bouncing Betties and other equally devious devices designed to maim not kill, I arrived at the airport. It took less time then usual. And there was a disheartening lack of zombies, SWAT team, crowds... In fact it was pretty much dead for a Friday night. Then I checked the arrival board. Huzzah! Her flight was delayed by almost 2 hours. I knew I needed to get here earlier for a reason, I thought to myself settling in to wait nearly 3 more hours. If I hadn't been here so early, then what? After much staring at equally bored travelers, and transporters, and not a few vodka tonics, the time finally arrived. Would she come stumbling out of the concourse, her clothes torn as if in a Frank Frazzeta painting revealing all and nothing, panting and sweaty from the sheer act of surviving through these most harrowing days? Then I saw her, fresh as a daisy, smiling and joking with the woman next to her. What had transpired to keep her away from me two more hours I inquired immediately after the much anticipated embrace and hellos. Mechanical problems she said. She had gotten through the exponentially increased security in about 5 minutes. Never had a line to wait in anywhere, and actually felt like she had a safer trip today then she did earlier in the week, before the news proclaimed it to be the end of airtravel as we've known it. She even got to keep her hand lotion, lipstick, and matches... And she was flying out of a major international hub. Not a spoke, an honest to god Mecca of air travel. The papers today were covered in pictures of the plight of the lost traveler, the hypertense machinegun toting security, the vast crowds of anxious people at airports around the country. I don't know what extradimensional world they took those pictures in, because it sure as hell wasn't the one I was on today. Last goddamn time I listen to the government...