Damnit! I was beaten to the punch!

Man! Here I am, writing this kickass "breakup" letter, and she closes the match while I'm writing it! Do'h! Now, obviously I'm not heartbroken as I was about to give her the kiss off, but there is a certain childish desire in me to dump first. Yeah, she's hot as hell, but I should have known better. Actually, I should have hung up the phone as soon as I heard the word Scientology uttered as anything other than a punchline. Why do my balls have such influence over my brain? It's like if my brain were the government, my nuggets would be the oil and gas industry.

And the worst part is, I have this GREAT letter and no audience for it! Or do I? Heh, heh, heh.

Andrea,
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about our phone conversation, and I’ve realized that I haven’t been completely honest with myself. I think that we have some pretty conflicting beliefs, and I’ve wanted to make them less important than they really are. But hey, who can blame me? I mean, you’re hot as hell.
Still, when I’m thinking with the right head, I have to admit that I find your complete discounting of psychology disconcerting. I know many people don’t “believe in psychology.” If I didn’t believe in gravity, I would still fall if I walked off a cliff. I’ve witnessed many times over cause and effect relationships in people which psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, etcetera have earlier identified. Regardless of what label one puts on it, I believe that discovering ones hurts and understanding how they have affected you are crucial to overcoming them and leading your best life.
And there are aspects of Scientology, as I understand it, which propose the same thing though it may articulate it differently. I think this is wonderful and very useful to people. I feel the same way about the LDS church, with which you are undoubtedly at least vaguely familiar. Recent changes in the core of the Mormon faith have really made some great strides in creating healthy individuals and families. I think this is great, too. But they lose me when they get to the details of their faith, particularly its history, and the future. I feel the same way about Scientology, which I know you stated is not a religion but a method of self-improvement. To me, however, religion in its highest, most esoteric form, is simply a method of self-improvement. So, I don’t make the same distinction about Scientology and religion as I understood you to do Tuesday night. Pardon me if I’m misquoting you.
The goal of rehabilitating the thetan, that a person is a spiritual being, auditing to free oneself of engrams to become clear (an example of what I believe, stated differently), that what is true for you is what you have observed yourself: these are all tenets of Scientology with which I agree. However, when it gets into aspects such as Xenu and his Galactic Confederacy blowing up spacecraft with hydrogen bombs around a volcano, it loses me. It loses me big.
As I stated on the phone, truth does not come from one person. Freud obviously didn’t get it right, but he laid a foundation from which others could expand upon. Look at Jung and Otto Rank, and then the thousands who have expanded on their discoveries. Whenever I see a methodology based solely on the dictates of a single person, I have seen a few good ideas ruined by some really outlandish ones, be they claims from a New York farm boy that he read a gospel of Jesus in a magic book written in a Native American language, or from a science fiction writer who stole many of his revelations from occultists (Jack Parsons and Aleister Crowley). I find it sadly ironic that so many scientologists poo-poo psychology without realizing how much Scientology resembles Freudian 'depth psychology.'
I really did enjoy talking with you. And I was really looking forward to, as eHarmony puts it, exploring our sexual desires with passion and understanding. You have no idea how much I was looking forward to that. But for all our compatibility, I think our disagreement is a significant incompatibility. I know that you are feeling the ticking of your clock, so I don’t want to waste our time by pretending that I can overlook this incompatibility. Also, I know that you are a busy person, but I’m wondering if your recent silence isn’t indicative that you feel the same way.
Keep looking, you will find your prince. Thanks again for the Italian lessons.

Ciao, Bellissima.