It's Not a Summer Flick, but It is a Summer Trailer

Mindless summertime fun at the movies...

I always find kind of hard to rate a pure summer popcorn flick. Sometimes, we have an easy time suspending our knowledge of reality to just sit back and have some fun. Other times, it's quite difficult to watch an over-the-top action sequence and go, "Oh, c'mon. That's not just impossible, that's damn silly." The Matrix and its sequels cleverly got around this whole issue by simply placing almost all of its outlandish action and stunt sequences in a world where there were no rules and everything was possible. Superhero comic book films try to play within the world we know, yet somehow we tend to give those a pass, as well. Play a John Woo flick like Face Off or Mission: Impossible 2 though, and some (yes, I'm talking to you, FG) roll their eyes and contemplate walking out of the theater altogether. So this summer gave us Wanted, and I'm sitting here trying to figure out where it falls on this scale.

Loosely based on a comic book mini-series by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones, Wanted takes the medium of its source material and its endless boundaries to the big screen to deliver an action-packed, violently crazy movie that's quite entertaining to watch...if you can stand a few flipping car sequences, magic healing baths, and an assassin's ability to bend the path of bullets, among other things. The film starts out by introducing us to Wesley, a poor sap of a guy stuck in a dead end cubicle job with a cheating girlfriend at home and lots of anxiety issues. Little does he know that he's the son of one of the world's most lethal assassins and shares the same genetic traits that give him the natural abilities to be the ultimate killing machine. After his father is killed, Wesley is given the chance to avenge his death by recruitment into The Fraternity, an assassins guild originating from an ancient group of weavers that somehow keep peace in the world and are mystically told who their next targets for death will be via a magical loom. Yeah, sounds a bit silly, but the basic premise is kind of cool as it's presented in the movie.

Now don't be too skeptical about the inclusion of Angelina Jolie. As any good macho action flick, there isn't any romance involved in this. Maybe a gratuitous flash of her butt (which I was surprised she agreed to given her Hollywood clout these days), but otherwise she's quite the dangerous woman with a gun (or a car), and she seems perfectly cast in appearance to what you would imagine a female comic book character come to life as being. Her role is actually relatively secondary, though. The real focus is on Wesley, played by James McAvoy, a strange choice which makes sense when you realize the need to have the wimpy guy at the beginning established so that we can actually empathize with his situation and care about what happens to him as the story progresses. Morgan Freeman, as always, is reliable, and I got quite a hoot out of him getting a bit out of character and doing a little something more in tune with Samuel L. Jackson towards the end.

But to the real reason you'd go see this movie--the action. Yes, it's WAY over the top. Yes, it requires ALL KINDS of suspension of disbelief. But if you can put that on hold, it's presented quite well. Much of the sequences owe a lot to The Matrix trilogy, and at times it seems like they almost copied scenes from those groundbreaking film. But, hey, it's the summer. This is no season to think and to judge. Go see Wanted, enjoy it for what it is, and chow down on a tub of popcorn (yes, I'm talking to you, FG).

A mystery romance...

CHICK FLICK WARNING: This is a review of a romantic comedy. Please stop reading now if this will make you nauseated or contemplate suicide, as "The Life and Times of Chester Cheetah and the Kool-Aid Gang" will not be held liable for any problems this might cause to your machismo.

Classic romantic comedies follow a relatively routine plot formula. If you don't know it by now, a quick viewing of any Nora Ephron movie such as When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless In Seattle, or You've Got Mail will probably get you back up to speed:

1. Boy meets girl.
2. Boy and girl seemingly hate each other at first, and insult each other repeatedly.
3. Boy and girl get involved in other relationships to hide the fact that they actually like each other.
   
4. Boy and girl get stuck in some nonsensical predicament to realize they really love each other.
5. Boy and girl go through crazy hijinks to finally meet at the end and live happily ever after.

These movies are all fine and good, especially when you pair a couple like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan with great chemistry to play your leads. I actually enjoy these films for the most part, but at times, it really does feel like a chick flick in the end.

Initially released in theaters on Valentine's Day, one would have expected Definitely, Maybe to fit in with the typical genre movie. But instead, I was really surprised to find a plot that was quite different, yet still quite touching and even more grounded in reality than most. The movie revolves around Will Hayes (Ryan Reynolds) telling his daughter Maya (Abigail Breslain) the story of how he met her mother. But instead of a straight forward romantic tale, Will decided to throw three of his prior loves into the mix so that his daughter can guess who her father ultimately ends up with. Is it his college sweetheart Emily (Elizabeth Banks), idealistic hipster April (Isla Fischer), or ambitious journalist Summer (Rachel Weisz)? Maya and the audience are left to figure it out until the end of the film, and in the process we see how Will has grown over the years, as well. To make it even more complicated, the film starts out establishing that Will is about to proceed with a divorce from this mystery woman, so if we really do find out who she is, will they spoil the mood with this impending seperation?

The mystery, of sorts, angle to the whole movie kept me drawn in. And unlike typical films, the writer/director Adam Brooks manages to create three potential women that are truly likeable, rather than villinizing two of them to make the ultimate true love stand out. He also shows how finding your true love sometimes isn't a smooth path. Now most romantic comedies make this journey quite hard, too, but Definitely, Maybe fortunately doesn't resort to crazy chases across Manhattan to catch the girl before she walks down the altar with another man, leaves for Europe, or other nonsense. It's a gradual process of growth and realization that Will has, and it's refreshing to see.

The saccharine, cliched lines are minimal in the film. There's not too much dependence on a eclectic soundtrack to set the mood, either. Instead, we see the transitions of time with the backdrop of the 90's--it's actually quite odd to watch a "period piece" of sorts, and realize that I actually lived through the entire period as an adult. Ryan Reynolds, who I used to enjoy watching back in his TV days on Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place, loses quite a bit of the sarcastic humor that is his usual trademark to play something a bit more subdued. His chemistry with all the female leads is great, and one actress in particular establishes herself as one of those screen characters you just sort of crush on yourself--I'd tell you who, but I think it would give away the ending.

Anywho, if you're looking for a DVD to rent and watch with for a mini date night at home, this one fits the bill quite well.

Is it just me or are engineers the most joyless bunch of dicks ever to brood around an office?

Since I've recently moved back to hardware documentation, I've been around a bunch of engineers. These aren't "software engineers" mind you - not the pocket-protector wearing dorks who overstate their own importance and erroneously believe themselves to be hackers (when they're just script kiddies.) These are actual engineers creating physical things in the physical world. I'm finding that an overwhelming majority of these guys are true wankers.

And this doesn't jive with my usual perception of engineers. I usually think of Wankmaster Scratch and his rubber chicken. I think of Fandango6 saying to me, "Here you go Sonny, a little something for your sweet tooth!" Or I think of Wild Willie telling about my Aunt's balls. When I think engineer, I think of anything but these sombre, depressing, sad-sacks grumbling through the halls and throwing me the stink eye.

Part of it could be my boss. She has a habit of pissing the engineers off, and this is guilt by association. But I really don't think so. I'm not getting that the engineers are unhappy with me or my group particularly, but that they are just unhappy.

Any insights from the engineers, current or former?

How it should have ended...

Check out the original ending to the movie version of I Am Legend with Will Smith before YouTube decides to pull it off the Internet. One of the problems I had with the movie was the tidy conclusion. This alternative ending, however, makes more sense, is much more satisfying, and is probably a bit closer to the intent of the title. It also indirectly answers the question as to whether the zombies set the mannequin trap for Neville or if Neville and his loss of sanity accidentally set the trap himself.

I'm not sure if this is a good way to get the men's vote or to distract them into not voting at all...

I think Barack Obama has a pretty good shot at becoming the next President of the United States based on the enthusiasm he's drummed up amongst old and young alike. Campaigns like "Boobs for Barack" can't hurt either.

NSFW for lots of hooters. Hey, it's for a good cause, right? Hehehehe...

Chuck Norris vs. The Blendtec

Last year I ended up taking the plunge and buying a really nice blender at Costco. I remember Firecracker talking about being excited about getting a really nice vacuum cleaner. Well my excitement about my Vitamix was on par with that, and it has not disappointed. We have had it for about a year now, and it has made some sweet stuff in that time (you can make ice cream in 30 seconds or soup in 4 minutes).

Because it was such a quality purchase I was surprised to see a different blender being sold this year. It was the Blendtec blender, and it's demonstration was on a video. There is nothing quite so intriguing as seeing a guy blend two golf balls into dust to get me to stop. I am still not convinced that this is a better blender than what I have, but the videos are impressive. There is a whole series of Youtube videos that show the blender blending everything from rakes to hockey pucks. You should watch a couple of those just to get the full effect of the following video, but even if you don't you will still enjoy it.

Not even Brian Eno can make you U2...

For about the first 30 seconds of the opening track of Colplay's latest album, Vida La Vida, I thought I was listening to an old Radiohead album. Things shape up as the instrumental song progresses with the simple sounds of a dulcimer, guitar, and crescendoing into a grand chorus that sets the mood of a more global sound that the band set out to evolve into. "Life In Technicolour" supposedly is just the start of their grand aspirations, as reports already hint at a follow up LP release in late 2009 that bookends the decade with the completion of this track (and an album which will feature a collaboration with, surprise, Kylie Minogue?!)

Coldplay has often suggested in public that they aspire to be the heirs to the throne where U2 currently sits. And in some ways, you can compare this album a bit to U2's own evolution into a more worldly sound with Achtung Baby in 1991. Who better, than, to recruit U2's producer, Brian Eno, to shape the sound of Viva La Vida? His influence is apparent as early as the second and third tracks, "Cemeteries of London" and "Lost!" respectively, as Jonny Buckland seems to channel The Edge in sound (although perhaps not quite in scope).

I've actually had to listen to the album at least four or five times before really appreciating the slightly new sound. It's not that it's completely different, but just not quite as accessible as their usual work. It's not the full dramatic ballads and arena-filling pop sounds that was A Rush of Blood to the Head (which I feel is where Coldplay has peaked so far). Most songs are a bit more sublte. "Violet Hill" was an odd pick as their first single. Even perhaps the sweetest song on the album, "Strawberry Swing," might be a good light summer kind of sound, but not what you'd really expect to hear on the radiowaves. Perhaps the only obvious radio hit is their title track already featured on iTunes commercials, "Viva La Vida." Even this song, though, is a bit of a departure, invoking the feelings of a deposed king or queen in the 1700's and making it relevant to the changing time of revolutions, governments, and religions of the modern age. Whatever, it's more political rather than the usual Chris Martin-falsetto ballad about true love. Had Sofia Coppola made Marie Antoinette now, I'm sure this song would have been a perfect fit for her movie.

I'm a bit torn on my rating. Believe it or not, this actually started out close to "Bland" territory, but has quickly jumped to "Cheesy." Still not sure I'd ever give it a "Very Cheesy," but then again that's Achtung Baby territory, and I'm not sure Coldplay has hit U2 status with this one. Give me a few more days to listen to it some more, though. As I always say, it's the ones that grow on you that turn out to be the best.

This is what they teach you in baking school?

There's nothing like a good warm loaf of bread to satisfy the belly sometimes. Unfortunately, I think the art of bread making was lost with the advent of automatic bread makers back in the 90's. Sure they tasted good, but weren't quite as good as the old-fashioned hand kneaded loaves people in Europe probably still pick up on a daily basis at their local bakery down the street. Stateside, we're usually left having to make due with the mediocre bread at a Panera Bread Co. or paying top dollar for the "free" bread at a nice restauraunt.

Luckily, this video will show you exactly how to make a delicious fresh loaf of bread at home:

New Clone Wars Trailer

I saw this preview before the Hulk, but I haven't talked to anyone else that did. These videos do this movie no justice. On the big screen the animation is incredible and fluid. And the glow from all the lightsabres... mmm lightsabres.

Take that heavenly flavor to bed with you...

I hate flossing. And I'm not sure even this is enough to coax me into staying compliant with this nighttime habit.

Cheetos dental floss, however...

Tiger for President...

Yeah, I know. Watching golf is about as exciting as sitting around for hours watching Firecracker George play Metroid and waiting for your turn to play that never comes...except when it's Tiger Woods at the tee.

I don't know what it is about Tiger, but somehow the game of golf becomes mesmerizing when he shows up to play. It's not like he hits the ball that much different than anyone else. Yet for some reason I become transfixed to the TV when he's on the greens.

And it's not like I really don't know the outcome. Nine times out of ten, he'll probably end up winning. Which makes days like yesterday all the more odd--did anyone really expect the greatest golfer to ever live was going to lose? Bum knee or not, who really thinks that was going to keep him down? Yet, the entire 2008 U.S. Open was pretty darn exciting. Yeah, really, I'm talking about golf. Some have already called it one of the greatest tournaments in history. Heck, I couldn't even watch the playoff live yesterday obviously because I was working, but still was checking frequent updates on my computer until the final nail-biting sudden death hole.

In any other sport, we'd all probably be rooting for the underdog. For some reason, though, we all root for Tiger.

A true movie legend dies...

Yet another person so influential to our youth died. If you hadn't heard yet, Stan Winston died from his battle with multiple myeloma on Sunday. His special effects work and creature design was responsible for perhaps the majority of movies that we call favorites from back in the day. Terminator, Predator, Aliens...thanks for entertaining us, Stan.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

I imagine Wankmaster Scratch sings this to his little buddy every night...

Fight Club is apparently cut a lot of these little gems from the movie. What a shame. A bit NSFW:

You know, Wander, they do sell Depends in bulk at Costco...

I generally enjoyed reading Punisher back in the day, but I was never a fanatic about it like Wander. I don't know what he thought about the two movie adaptations. I vaguely remember seeing the Dolph Lundgren one, and thinking it was crap. I never made it through the last version with Thomas Jane as Frank Castle. I missed it in the theater and tried watching it on TV some Saturday afternoon, but something about John Travolta as these over-the-top villains makes me want to change the channel. Anywho, a third version, Punisher: War Zone, comes out later on in the year. I guess it looks sort of promising:

What the frak?!

Just finished watching the final show of Battlestar Galactica before the long dreaded break (no new shows till 2009 to see the final conclusion of this series? You've got to be fraking kidding me!), and realized I haven't blogged a thing about the show this whole season.

Overall, I think it's been a bit hit and miss. A lot was devoted to the four characters revealed to be part of the final five Cylons, which I thought would lead to more compelling stories. Unfortunately, I find Tory annoying and Anders a bit boring. All the infighting in the Cylon fleet seemed to drag on. And Baltar's ascendence as some sort of Jesus figure was also something I hoped would be more interesting than it turned out to be. Instead, he seemed to appear more like the leader of a polygamist cult, which I guess shouldn't surprise anyone given the Mormon undertones of the original Battlestar Galactica series.

The relationship between Admiral Adama and Laura Roslin has played out slowly, but finally came to its satisfying conclusion this season. Adama sitting out in the middle of space all by his lonesome in a Raptor, Laura finally professing her love to him--I think I might have cried a little myself. And then they finished up this half of the season with a cliffhanger that really leaves you going, "Wha?!"

I have yet to convince Lemon to watch this show, which I think is a real shame. She still can't get over the fact that it's science fiction, even though the best parts of this show are the ones that probably have nothing to do with sci-fi and everything to do with character development and relationships. Oh well. At least I've got her saying "Frak!" all the time.

Hulk smash!

Back when we were kids with nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon except beg Wander's mom to drive us downtown to Comics N Stuff for our weekly infusion of superhero goodness, we often dreamed about what some of our favorite Marvel characters would be like on the big screen. Fan mags would often report that an X-Men or Punisher movie was "in the can." Alas, none ever materialized, and we were left to dream on.

Now when we're all grown up, after most of us stopped reading comic books on a regular basis, an avalanche of the films we prayed for have come. And now I find myself wondering if adulthood has swayed my expectations as to what a comic book film should be.

The first adaptation of Hulk by Ang Lee was a somewhat more cerebral look into the psyche of Bruce Banner, the Hulk being the literal manifestation of the hidden conflicts of a man with suppressed rage and daddy issues. For those of us who kept arguing that comics were much more literature than mere kiddie reading, Hulk should have been a masterpiece. Instead, fanboys grumbled, critics criticized, and the general moviegoing public didn't come. Knowing there still was potential for a movie franchise, however, Marvel Studios gave the big green guy a second chance with The Incredible Hulk. The result? An adequate summer popcorn flick, but in some ways still not the magic combination I would have hoped for.

The new version of The Incredible Hulk is essentially a reboot of the franchise. No references are made to Lee's film. Instead the entire origin story of the Hulk is compressed into a flash of scenes during the opening movie credits and retold, although the basic premise is preserved. After a gamma radiation experiment that goes terribly wrong turning him into the Hulk whenever his heartrate reaches a certain threshold, Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) is forced to leave his love Betty Ross (Liv Tyler) and evade capture by General Ross (William Hurt) and the U.S. Army.

Louis Letterier's approach to this film seems to be in keeping with the spirit of the old Hulk TV, The Fugitive, or even his older work with The Transporter movies--keep the story kinetic and keep our hero running. For the most part this works to keep us entertained. Starting with Bruce Banner hiding out working in a soda factory, the film wastes little time with any real character development as it moves through Virginia and into New York City with almost nonstop action. This is oddly perhaps the flaw in the movie that keeps me from feeling like it's up to par with more superior superhero movies such as Spiderman, Batman Begins, or the most recent Iron Man. Something about how Letterier cuts the action together just seems to lack a sophistication that these other movies had.

The film slows down only to reunite Bruce and Betty for a brief moment. Liv Tyler, despite some rather corny dialogue at times, is pretty adorable in her part. Nothing is really established to piece together what their relationship was like before the movie, but somehow her presence and her interactions with Edward Norton make up for this deficit. Edward Norton, is OK as Bruce Banner, although I'm not sure if it's just that the character himself is a bit dull or if the script was lacking, but his acting skills seemed somewhat wasted in the film. William Hurt does an adequate job as the stereotypical military asshole, and Tim Roth as the primary villain William Blontsky and Abomination, plays his role quite well.

The CGI work is probably on par with what was done in Hulk. The Incredible Hulk looks sort of real, but still noticeably cartoonish (and luckily, not quite falling into that "uncanny valley"). Remarkably, though, the CGI wasn't nearly as distracting to me in this movie as it was in Ang Lee's film, and the action sequences with the Hulk himself are actually quite exciting. This, too, is a bit odd given the fact that this new version of the Hulk seems to have somewhat more tame powers than what Ang Lee's version did.

A few Easter eggs are dispersed throughout the film to keep any comic geek happy with some indirect references to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Captain America, a couple of cameos Stan Lee and Lou Farigno, and, of course, the well publicized cameo by Tony Stark. The appearance of Robert Downey Jr. is a prime example of why nothing beats watching a movie in the theater with a full audience--once he came on screen, the entire theater was whooping and hollering it up.

In the end, this new take on the Hulk seemed to be almost a 360 degree departure from Ang Lee's version--almost zero character development, and almost full on action. If that's your thing, this film will be quite cheesy for you. For me, I would have preferred something a bit in between. Rumor is, Edward Norton was quite upset with the final cut of the film, and wanted something a bit more with that balance that I was hoping for. Perhaps a director's cut will show us what this movie good have been. Letterier, himself, has said in interviews that he has at least 70 minutes worth of footage that he cut and will include on future DVD extras. Still, it was an enjoyable movie for a summer weekend, and I'd recommend going to see The Incredible Hulk.

Oh, and don't bother waiting through the final credits--there's nothing at the end. Hey, you never know with these Marvel movies these days! ;-)

Do you get extra points or less if the pedestrian is chubby?

I don't think I've ever seen Death Race 2000 with David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone, but it's nice to look back and see what people actually thought life might be like in the year 2000 if their worst fears came true.



A remake of this film called simply Death Race is set to come out in August. On the plus side, it stars Jason Statham, who's usually a lock for movies that are preposterous and mindless, but still entertaining in a "It's late, I just ordered some pizza, and I've got one his DVD's to watch" kind of situation. Add to this, it sort of reminds me of Car Wars. On the super-negative side, Paul W.S. Anderson directs--given how steaming his piles of crap are, I'm always amazed he managed to charm Milla Jovavich to be by his side.

Get those Depend undergarments ready, Wander...

Here's that Prince and Traveling Wilburys performance at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame that Firecracker George was mentioning in his comment on the last post. Man, you gotta love the internet:


Online Videos by Veoh.com

A Wander Dream Come True

On any given day, if asked to blow out a candle and to make a wish, this could be what my mind would come up with as fast as any other possible response. To hear Prince do a Radiohead cover. And it happened a few days ago at the Coachella Music Festival. Since then it has become a legal battle between Prince's publicist and online posters to keep this important prince moment special. Finally today Radiohead said "It's our song, play the video." Prince, I'm sure, is completely unaware this is even going on. He has concerns we mere mortals will never know.
But now, finally, here it is in its glory. Wander's entire musical taste wrapped up in one song. Prince, my beloved, and Radiohead, my liege's, together. Just a word of caution, the guitar solo brought tears to my eyes. Come prepared yourselves, for we are not worthy of this greatness we behold here.

It's the end of the world as we know it (maybe)...

According to this countdown clock, we have a little more than 24 days left before the possible end of the world as we know it. That will be when the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland will go online and crash subatomic particles together using an underground 17-mile ring of magnets in hopes of creating similar conditions that existed just after the Big Bang that created the universe.

If this sounds familiar, it might be because the United States was building a similar project just south of Dallas. The Superconducting Super Collider, unfortunately, ran way over budget and Congress ended up mothballing the entire project after spending over $4 billion already. It now sits empty, occassionally being used as a glorified storage facility or a place for military training exercises. Talk about pork barrel spending.

The collision of these hadron particles is supposed to allow astrophysicists to unlock other unknown mysteries of science that my feeble Cheeto-filled brain doesn't quite understand. But from what I've gleaned, it will either support all the theorized principles of physics or completely dismantle them. HC? Well, maybe I'll wait until the collider is online before I continue to say "physics!"

Two other possibilities exist, too. Nothing at all could happen, and scientists will be left with the most expensive non-working science experiment of all time (which reminds me of that seemingly great tennis ball launcher I built with Fandango back in high school physics class that ended up shooting the ball a measly foot or two). The other theory is that the reaction could be catastrophic. From The New Yorker:

Worries about the end of the planet have shadowed nearly every high-energy experiment. Such concerns were given a boost by Scientific American—presumably inadvertently—in 1999. That summer, the magazine ran a letter to the editor about Brookhaven’s Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider, then nearing completion. The letter suggested that the Brookhaven collider might produce a “mini black hole” that would be drawn toward the center of the earth, thus “devouring the entire planet within minutes.” Frank Wilczek, a physicist who would later win a Nobel Prize, wrote a response for the magazine. Wilczek dismissed the idea of mini black holes devouring the earth, but went on to raise a new possibility: the collider could produce strangelets, a form of matter that some think might exist at the center of neutron stars. In that case, he observed, “one might be concerned about an ‘ice-9’-type transition,” wherein all surrounding matter could be converted into strangelets and the world as we know it would vanish.

Now the majority of scientists have dismissed the idea of mini blackholes and stranglets as a product of the collider project as hogwash. Still, I might be a little extra nice to my sweetie that day before they push the button.

Seriously?

I may be the only one of Kool-Aid Gang who actually watches Grey's Anatomy, in which case the mild humor of the title of this post will be lost on most of you. It's actually Lemon's favorite show (she even likes it more than 30 Rock), which gives me an easy excuse to watch girlie television such as this.

Most of the time, I kind of roll my eyes, though, at all the preposterous story lines they come up with. It makes ER seem down right boring at times. Add to the fact, I can't understand why surgical residents seem to be taking care of every problem that enters fictional Seattle Grace Hospital whether it be guy encased in concrete or lady with a simple cough.

Anywho, where was I? Oh yeah. So Katherine Heigl is one of the rising stars that came out of this show, having essentially broken out into the big screen with Knocked Up. Unfortunately, with all the success she had with that film, she ended up badmouthing the movie for it's portrayal of women as humorless. That seemed a bit in poor taste, considering the movie was what has now made her a bankable movie star. Now comes this latest slap in the face to those that led her to her fame. Apparently, she felt that despite the lousy scriptwriting this season, her acting was of such high caliber that she had to make sure she removed herself from Emmy contention so as not to steal the award from someone else:

"I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization" decided against competing, Heigl said in a written statement provided by her publicist, Melissa Kates, who was contacted by the AP.

"In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials," added Heigl. She plays Dr. Izzie Stevens on "Grey's Anatomy," which slipped in the ratings this past season but remained a top 10 show.

Man, talk about an inflated ego. I remember when Bill Cosby used to remove himself from contention every year. Of course, that was after he kept winning. In comparison, Heigl won one Emmy for a supporting role--ONE!

For the Longhorns in the audience...

Sometimes baseball at UT seems to take a rather dramatic backseat to football even though you could argue that the baseball team has had more success.

Richard Linklater, of Dazed and Confused fame, will debut his first foray into the documentary genre with Inning by Inning: A Portrait of a Coach which follows Augie Garrido, one of the winningest coaches in NCAA history, and the University of Texas Longhorns baseball team, the winningest team in NCAA history, during their 2005-2006 season.

Set your DVRs to ESPN2 at 10:00 PM EST on Sunday, June 15. Hopefully, no cameo appearances by Matthew McConaughey.

New directions in guitar sounds...

I don't play guitar, but I know Firecracker George has taken up the instrument of late, so I figured he might be able to appreciate whatever it is that this new guitar from Moog (known previously for their digitial synthesizers) can do. Given his love for synthpop, I'm guessing Wander might like this, too:

Rest in Peace, Eric Wujcik.

I just read that Eric Wujcik died of pancreatic cancer on Saturday. Even though not everyone in the Kool-Aid gang may recognize the name, we have all used his work. Eric Wujcik was the co-founder of Palladium Games, the publishers of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Other Strangeness game, which I think each of us played at least once (except Killer.) I know Wander was a fan of the Rifts game, too, which Wujcik also wrote.

Actually, I'm surprised I beat Wander to the post.

Anywho, rest in peace, and thanks for helping me nerd out with your games. TMNT was one of my favorites.

Chester Cheetah--the passive aggressive master...

Did anyone catch these Cheetos commercials in the winter/spring? Apparently, I missed them and only found out about them while perusing Google today to find some new Chester Cheetah pictures.

More evidence that Chester Cheetah is AWESOME!

For the love of Kool-Aid, update the sidebar!

There is still a reference to me as Scootypuff jr. (A name I miss, but my reasons for changing it are still valid) It is as stale as a Cheeto that fell through the couch cushions and past the pull out bed to the the floor, with the dust bunnies and the toe nail clippings.

UPDATE IT OR PUT IT OUT OF ITS MISERY.

Seriously, I think half of it is older than most of our children.

I'm stuck in training today for something I literally will never use. Dear god I'm bored.

How did I ever make it through high school?

And when I come to the blog to salve my ennui, what do I find? References to The Departed and The Prestige! Those movies came out more than a year ago. YOU LAZY CUR! I should make the four hour drive to come up there and horsewhip you!

I can't imagine what that phone is doing when it rings in my pocket...

Despite the fact that even the American Cancer Society has deemed conventional cellphone use as extremely low risk, it's never quite reassuring when three prominent neurosurgeons go on Larry King Live and admit they never hold their cellphones to their ears. Then you might watch this video, and get really freaked out. Granted, it's probably some clever fake, but still, aren't you just a wee bit more reluctant to put that phone up to your ear?

Maybe I should actually spend my lunch hour eating lunch...

I feel like a bit of nerd--I'm spending my lunch hour following the live updates of the Wordwide Developer Conference keynote address being given by Steve Jobs right now in hopes of finding out exactly what the new iPhone is going to look like.

Anywho, in other more entertaining news, check out the new TV trailer for The Incredible Hulk. YouTube disabled the embed function, so you'll have to go directly over to their site to watch it. If you liked Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark, let's just say you'll love this trailer.

I just might link this up in my sidebar...

I've been really digging this new photo blog from The Boston Globe website which basically compiles a bunch of nice photographs about a particular current event or obscure news story for the day. Some of the shots of Saturn and its moons by the Cassini Space Probe or a rare picture of uncontacted Amazon tribes in Brazil were some of the coolest things things of late. A couple of examples are below:

The power of Oprah...

With the convenience of Tivo, Lemon will usually record a bunch of episodes of Oprah, and watch them all at once. This means that I will sometimes join her on the couch and endure the ordeal that is the female bonding experience all because I'm so addicted to TV. A while back, I caught this particular show with some of the stills posted below. Take a guess as to what the show was about based on the stills below.






Nope. She didn't just announce some new Angel Network or the start of a new school in Africa. This is what the entire audience looked like when she announced the show was her summer season "Oprah's Favorite Things" episode. If you haven't ever watched one of these, it's where Oprah basically pulls out what she'll be using for the upcoming season, whether it be a $10 pair of flip flops, the latest new iPod, or a designer pair of sunglasses.

Granted, she usually gives away a bunch of things for the audience to take home, but still, the above reactions were even before she showed any of her things and told them they'd be going home free stuff. I guess this is what happens when you have a history of giving an entire audience a brand new car.

For Lemon: THANK GOD I'M WHITE!

So I'm zipping along to work this morning and the po-po comes up behind me and hits the rollers. "Gah!" I think, "it's finally catching up to me." He asks me if I knew why he stopped me, I said "no," and he says it was because I crossed two lanes without signaling (does that count as a New Jersey slide?)

Thank Crom he didn't have his radar gun on me! I was sure he pulled me over for bumping along in the low 90s. But no, something not as severe I think, so there was a chance I'd not get a ticket. Lo and behold - a warning!

Now I asked the constable (seriously, he was a constable) why I was getting a warning, and not a ticket. He said, "because you're white, of course." Then he let me play with his mace (I sprayed some non-causcasians for a giggle), and after that we drove around in his cruiser while I got to turn on the siren whenever I wanted to. Well, almost - I was about to blast some little old lady when he stopped me. "Hold on there my Aryan brother, she's white." We pulled up beside her and doggonit, he was right. I thought she was Hispanic, but she just had a tan.

So then we toodled over to Little Dehli, and I got to write out a bunch of DWIs (Driving While Indian) to all the Indian soccer moms in Toyota Siennas. After that I went back to my car, and an escort of cruisers drove me to work.

And it's all true, up to the point where I wrote that he was a constable. But seriously though, I'm sure I got to skate because I'm white. Either that, or it was the fact that I haven't been pulled over for about seven years, and I haven't had a ticket for close to nine.

Sleeper hit of the summer?

Hopefully, Firecracker George didn't get his martial arts training from this tae kwon do master:

Geeks lose out again...

So I'm sitting outside the movie theater waiting for the midnight showing of Sex and the City. Obviously Lemon's choice, not mine.

Dozens of women dressed up in their party dresses and high heels for the occassion. Here is the double standard. For these women, it's fun and fabulous. Change this to a premiere of Star Wars or Star Trek, though, and dressing up for the movie becomes nerdy. But isn't what they're doing tonight dolled up in costume essentially the same as coming to the theater dressed up as a Jedi or a Klingon?

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Terminators and Cylons can't be far behind...

If Dean Kamen is ever mysteriously assassinated, I'll take that to mean time travel truly does exist. I'm still waiting for Segways to become the ubiquitous mode of transportation they were hyped up to be, but until then, Dean Kamen is doing wonders in the cybernetic realm of technology. I think I posted about the "Luke" arm before, but I thought some of the stuff he showed off at this D6 convention this week was super cool enough to post another video about it again:

It's like they're staring straight into my soul!

A definition of the uncanny valley from Wikipedia:

The uncanny valley is a hypothesis that when and other facsimiles of humans look and act almost, but not entirely, like actual humans, it causes a response of revulsion among human observers.

Or if you need it explained to you in Star Wars, here's a clip from 30 Rock about the subject:



Of course, this doesn't seem to be limited to the human species:

A Quick Thought

I caught a blurb on the news tonight about whether or not oil companies should be investing in more alternative energy. This is is the prevalent thought heard on the news lately. I have felt like the motivation behind such talk from the American public is one of punishment because of all the money they are making. I have to say to everyone out there ... be careful what you ask for. Isn't asking oil companies to invest in alternative energy (aka energy of the future) just going to shove even more money in their pockets in the future?

I am all about investing in alternative energy for the future, and I don't care who does it. Heck I don't care if oil companies get even more filthy rich if they do it, but then I don't care if they are filthy rich now. The media and some political candidates seem to think that getting filthy rich is wrong. If they want to punish the oil companies for making so much money, don't allow them to invest in alternative energy. You think companies like Exxon, BP, or Conoco Phillips think oil is going to last forever. They know its not. They are probably loving the fact that people are asking them to invest in something they were already thinking about anyway.

Nothing like a good 'ol contest of flatulence...

I'll bet the Cookie Monster dreams about days like this...

14 tons of Oreos spill on IL highway
ASSOCIATED PRESS
05/19/2008

MORRIS, Ill. -- Got milk?

Police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos overturned Monday morning, spilling plastic sleeves of cookies into the median and roadway.

Illinois State Police Sergeant Brian Mahoney says the truck's driver was traveling from Chicago to Morris on I-80 around 4 a.m. Monday when he fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the median.

Mahoney says the force of the crash ripped open boxes of the cookies, but their plastic wrappers kept them from covering the ground.

The crash about 50 miles southwest of Chicago remains under investigation.

Mahoney says no charges have been filed but both lanes of traffic remain closed while authorities remove the cookies.

Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated...

My apologies for the lack of Swany posts over the past week. I was out of town without any access to convenient free wi-fi, and no time to post anyway. Part of my week was spent driving through the state of New York, passing oh so close to Rochester. I'm still hitting myself for not making a detour in search of the infamous Nick Tahoe's Garbage Plate that Scratch is so fond of. Instead, I think I overdosed on Tim Horton's coffee and Maple donuts, and had a few too many overpriced meals in New York City. Rest assured, though, I will return to the keyboard soon.

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The Good, the Bad, and the Indy

I saw the new Indiana Jones flick, and discussed it some with Wander, but I still have more to say about it, thus this blog post. I don’t want to bother with sorting out what needs the patented InvisoText ® so if you haven’t seen the film, STOP READING HERE.

Overall I liked the movie, but I don’t think that I liked it as much as the other three. I don’t know if that has anything to do with age; I found that many shows I loved as a kid I think are terrible now. Go watch an episode of The A-Team to understand what I mean. One thing that was different with this film from the others – and is neither good nor bad (well, I guess I’m leaning towards bad here) – is the singular adventure. The previous movies all began with Indy embroiled in a separate adventure. In Raider’s of the Lost Ark, Indy has his iconic adventure in a Pre-Columbian temple. Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom begins with that wicked cool scene in a Hong Kong night club – it’s the escape from the gangsters that throws Indy, Short-round, and that annoying chick (Kate Capshaw?) into the movie’s main adventure in India. And Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade begins with this cool vignette of Indy as a teen and then flashes forward to an adventure on a boat tossed on a stormy sea. It gives the viewer the impression that the hero is constantly having adventures, which are only periodically interrupted by his classes. In this movie, it begins with the main adventure, with only a small road race at the beginning to set the pace. Of course, as I typed that I realized that maybe the new movie shouldn’t give that feeling of constant adventuring, as Indy is significantly older. His female students no longer swoon over him, and he hardly even goes by Indy anymore, and instead goes by his given name Henry. I wondered if this was in honor of his father, or indicative of his life transition into post-middle age. Either way, I suppose he really isn’t the same man as he was in the first three films.

Another part I’m ambivalent about is the mystery/mythology. The first three focused on known human mythology, two of which were from the Abrahamic religions (the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail) and the third was a Vedic myth (the only real part of I know of being the reference to the deity Shaak-Ti.) Anywho, this movie focuses on a non-religious mythology (well, at least traditional religion) of aliens. At first I feared I’d find it hokey, but none of the franchise is subtle in that respect (tearing out hearts, the Ark melting faces, etc.) Now I’m cool with it, and I even like how uniquely American (and 50’s) this movie was. I thought it was way cool that in the past twenty years Indy has been an agent of the OSS (the precursor to the CIA). It showed that even though he was a citizen of the world, he was also a patriot. Then there is the USA/USSR rivalry, the focus on the atomic age, and the inclusion of aliens, which were probably in every third movie made in the fifties (ironically enough as a metaphor for the red scare.) So intentional or not (but very likely intentional), the cohesiveness of theme was well done.

As for what I don’t like about the film, the first is the CGI/green screen work. It was just really noticeable, and with the technology we have I expected it to be seamless. Maybe the elements I didn’t like (the jungle chase scene) were too complex with the myriad of textures in the plants, or maybe somebody just dropped the ball. Still, the mediocre effects are a small complaint. My real complaint has to do with Karen Allen, and there’s no salve for this one.
In the first film, the only other one with Karen Allen, see plays a very strong character whose actions play a big part in the plot. In this movie she drives an amphibious jeep and swoons over Indy, who she hasn’t seen for at least twenty years. That’s it. They had a great character, one who could drink mountain men under the table, and reduced her to a soccer mom with ga-ga eyes for her (really) old boyfriend. That for me has to be the worst part of this movie. Yeah, she’s pudgy and has crows feet, but I still wanted to see her kick ass at least metaphorically. Her subservient, background role really fits in with the fifties theme, but in a bad way.

My last complaint has to do with the other female character, the Russian psychic chick. Kudos at least for mentioning Stalin’s funding research into psychic military programs, but the character wasn’t interesting enough to warrant Kate Blanchet’s talent. I think Blanchet is the most skilled actress on the screen today – I put her in with Meryl Streep, Judi Dench, and Kathy Bates, easy. She’s had small roles in movies, but she made them big (Lord of the Rings being a good example.) In this movie it seemed like there just wasn’t enough of a character for even Blanchet’s considerable talent to save.

It seems that all the character development went to Shia LeBouf and Harrison Ford (who didn’t need it, as his character is well-established.) Again, the women aren’t given much consideration, which, like I wrote above, keeps with the fifties theme whether it meant to or not.

As for what I did like about the film (other than the stuff I pointed out here and there), the overall action, adventure, and just plain fun was there, as was the humor. The joke on Indy’s phobia of snakes is hilarious.

Hmmm, that’s about it I guess. It’s definitely worth seeing, but I think it was too focused on wrapping up the series, and not focused enough on really making Karen Allen’s return as cool as it should have been.

Did anyone else think that the crystal aliens looked a lot like ET?

Pork and Beans

Check out the sweet new Weezer video. Just about every pop internet viral reference is in it. It sounds like another great Weezer song and album that I will be getting.

Maybe I'll start Flight of the Conchords Fridays...

"A heartwarming story" from my e-mail inbox today...

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through th e Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Another Bad Day At Work

Never bring a gun to a place infested with mosquitoes...

I'm not sure if I should laugh or be scared by the fact that idiots like this have guns lying around in their homes. From The Dallas Morning News:

A Fort Worth man trying to scratch an itch on his back used a revolver and accidentally shot himself.

Jorge Espinal, 44, was drinking beer and playing poker around 3 a.m. Sunday in his home in the 3500 block of Montague Street, when he got up from the table and walked into another room, said Fort Worth police Lt. Kenneth Dean.

“He told officers he had an itch on his back and grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of, which was a revolver,” Lt. Dean said. “The gun went off."

Mr. Espinal went back and told his buddies that he shot himself. “They didn’t believe him until they saw the blood coming down his back,” Lt. Dean said.

Mr. Espinal was taken to an area hospital, where he was treated and released with non-life-threatening injuries.

Lucky for him he didn't have jock itch.

Anyone Else Getting That "Best Summer Ever" Feeling?

Wow! Simply, wow.

All Our Dreams May Come True

From MSNBC this morning, and to throw a little more fuel on the geek fire Swany already started...

The blockbuster worldwide opening of "Iron Man" didn't just create a franchise -- it kept the dreams of an independent production company alive. While Paramount Pictures distributed and marketed the movie that may make Robert Downey Jr. the next Johnny Depp, Marvel Studios completely financed the reportedly $150 million picture (cough, more, cough). And with its reboot of "The Incredible Hulk" releasing next month under the same conditions (just swap in Universal Pictures as the distributor), the company that once sold off the rights to its characters believes it has justified to Wall Street investors this new strategy was the way to go. In fact, the studio was so excited about the success of "Iron Man" that, on the Monday after the blockbuster weekend, it announced release dates for a sequel and a slew of new projects that were previously only listed as in development. Here's a quick breakdown on what they have planned:

"Iron Man 2"
Release date: April 30, 2010
Lowdown: This franchise has always been planned as a trilogy, and you can expect everyone to return and for Terrence Howard (aka War Machine) to get a lot more screen time.

"Thor"
Release date: June 4, 2010
Lowdown: Think "Lord of the Rings" meets "Beowulf." The most recent script rightfully set the Norse god's origins in pagan times (and was a good read to boot). As the comic book version also lives in modern times, it will be interesting to see how director Matthew Vaughn ("Stardust") ties that into the movie. The more important question is whether Marvel will spend the money Vaughn needs to make the magical world of Asgard come to life.

"The First Avenger: Captain America"
Release date: May 6, 2011
Lowdown: This is going to be a tough sell. Cap has been around since the 1940s, but other studios were always hesitant to develop the character because there isn't much appetite for a patriotic supersoldier draped in red, white and blue in the lucrative overseas market. Marvel is going full steam ahead, but even longtime comic fans wonder if this one can really succeed.

"The Avengers"
Release date: July 2011
Lowdown: If you waited for the final scene at the end of the "Iron Man" credits, you heard Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) tease audiences by introducing the Avengers Initiative to Tony Stark. This beloved superhero team has been around since the 1960s, and with Marvel controlling the rights to all the original members (Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk) this may be a dream project come true. But is Marvel getting cocky thinking two "Avenger" movies can be hits in one summer?

"Ant-Man"
Release date: 2011
Lowdown: This is tough sell No. 2. Henry Pym is a scientist who discovers a way to shrink himself to the size of an ant and to communicate with them in order to fight evil. Pym's character got much more interesting over time (not to mention bigger when he became Giant-Man), but this has always been a hokey concept that conjures memories of "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." Note to Marvel: Just skip Pym's Ant-Man years and move ahead to his cooler, current identity of Yellowjacket.

As if that post-credits Easter egg wasn't enough to geek out about...

Some semi-spoilers are in inviso-text below, although if you haven't heard about them yet, you don't surf the 'Net enough.

Jon Favreau managed to throw quite a few little bits into Iron Man to set the stage for an Avengers movie later on which apparently Marvel already has on their slate along with a Captain America film in 2011. S.H.I.E.L.D. is already set up, as is Nick Fury. Tony Stark apparently makes a cameo appearance in the upcoming The Incredible Hulk, so it looks like Marvel is really trying to tie together all of their film properties. The latest addition to this creation of an intertwined Marvel Universe is this find: Is that the prototype for Captain America's shield in the background? If it is--SWEEEEEET!

I wonder how I could embed this button on the sidebar of this blog...

Did you just tell a good joke?  Go to this site and press the button.

Batman 89 Vs. Batman 08

I Am Iron Man

I'm a little concerned about the lack of review for Iron Man by the Gang. Since no one else has posted on it, I'll give my two cents. It'll be short and to the point. And as I don't know how to add the cheese meter to the post, it will be lacking.
Here's the best praise I can give it. I saw it my second time yesterday, and I'm taking my Mom to see it Wednesday night and I am already excited I'm getting to see it a third time. Robert Downey Jr. is Tony Stark, will always be Tony Stark, and may have been born for the one purpose of playing Tony Stark.

And for those who've yet to see it, be sure to stay until after the credits for what very well may be the best comic related film scene ever put on celluloid. I embarrased my wife the first time seeing it by yelling wildly after it. My one saving grace, I was only one of about twenty people in the theater that excited over it.

Or if you like your day job, but are just a wee bit bored on a Friday morning...

I remember a day when my typing skills as a small child were rather impressive and a somewhat unique skill for a 10 year old. Now, I think even babies are typing due mostly to the explosion of computers in the last couple of decades.

TypeRacer is an online game where you race against other players on the Internet with your car going as fast as you can correctly type a movie quote correctly. I managed to get up into the 70's, but was flabbergasted by the fact that I was routinely beat by people running into the the 100's.

In case you were thinking about quitting your day job...

Apparently, just about anyone can enter the NBA draft. I have a feeling no one would be trading up to get my b-ball skills.

I never thought I'd be watching G.I. Joe for the T & A...

Sienna Miller coming to visit Daniel Craig in his hotel room for a booty call with a bag of Agent Provocateur lingerie in tote during one scene in the film Layer Cake was probably the best form of blatant product placement ever in a movie.

I'm not sure what that actually has to do with the topic of this post, except it's a bad segway into talking about Sienna Miller. I kind of like her description of the upcoming film adaptation of G.I. Joe where she portrays The Baroness:

Guns, tits, ass, no acting!

I'm not sure if that adds up to a recipe for disaster or the greatest summer popcorn flick ever made.

Here's some more promotional shots of the various characters in the film. I'm sure Firecracker George will have all sorts of comments and eye-rolling to contribute about Storm Shadow. He kind of reminds me of those old Enter the Ninja movies from the 80's that I was never allowed to watch. And as a tangential aside, did you know that Kurt Thomas of Gymkata fame now runs some gymnastics center here in North Dallas? For all I know, he could have been right next to me in the grocery store line, ready to use the counter as some sort of pommel horse to roundhouse kick me.

Man, I need to think up some better material for my blog postings.

That's bound to give you some weird form of "Lego back"...

It took a mere 500,000 bricks to assemble the tallest Lego tower ever.  Measured at 100 feet in height, the structure was built at Legoland in the UK.

Just think if they built that out of blocks that didn't have interlocking pieces--that would be one heck of a game of Jenga!

A Bad Day At Work

Lucky for the kid he didn't have lunch with a crappy baseball team like the Rangers...

They always use this situation in the movies, but I don't recall seeing it much in real life.

Miguel Tejada of the Houston Astros was so touched by an 8 year old boy he met with muscular dystrophy, he promised him a home run.  And sure enough, he delivered. Not to be outdone, the following two batters did the same.  In total, the Astros hit five homers last night against Milwaukee to beat them 7-4.  From ESPN:

"I was so excited," said Tejada, who'd never promised a home run before. "I know it's hard to tell someone you'll hit a home run and do it. But today when I went to lunch with this kid I wanted him to be happy. So I told him I'd do it."

How awesome does that kid feel right now?

I guess track marks won't necessarily mean you're heroin addict anymore...

There was many a morning when I would down cups of coffee after a rough night like an athlete drinks Gatorade following a dehydrating run and joked that it would be so much easier if they could just hook me up to an IV and give me a slow drip of coffee throughout the day.  Leave it up to the Japanese to get close.

Tenteki10 in Tokyo, Japan may be the first in the latest fad of "health bars" where you can order up your own selection of IV cocktail to provide a nice pick me up for the day.  From Japan Today:

Ten options with different effects and five courses consisting of these options are available. The basic price is 2,000 yen, and customers can request an option or course menu, for an additional charge.

“Many people daily suffer from exhaustion, insomnia and backaches on a daily basis because they don’t take proper care of themselves,” says a doctor at Tenteki10. “They try supplements, home remedies or cheap energy injections. Some of these ailments cannot be healed that way and could possibly develop into more serious illnesses, including depression.”

I'm not sure getting supplements injected straight into the bloodstream is that much better than taking the old fashioned oral route and letting your body absorb it, but I guess in this fast-paced world, every second counts.  That, or people really like needles--OUCH!

Sometimes when he's lovin' me, he ain't...

Time for some more animal porn.  I'm not sure you call this bestiality, but I guess it's sort of similar. From BBC News:

An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.

The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known.

The incident, which lasted for 45 minutes and was caught on camera, is reported in the Journal of Ethology.

The bizarre event took place on a beach on Marion Island, a sub-Antarctic island that is home to both fur seals and king penguins.

Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal.

Equally, it might be been an aggressive, predatory act; or even a playful one that turned sexual.
"At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin," says Nico de Bruyn, of the Mammal Research Institute at the University of Pretoria, South Africa.

And all of it caught on film.  Scandalous!

Anyone up for a road trip?

From KOKOGIAK:

I set out to find the longest distance for which Google Maps would give Driving Directions. Now that they've shut down the fun "swim the Atlantic" feature, things have changed a bit. It turns out there are multiple "longest drives", because the Google Maps World is partitioned (many countries don't support driving directions), and sometimes ferries are included, and sometimes they are not.

Unalaska, AK to Southern Newfoundland, Canada = 7,267 miles or about 6 days 15 hours.

Yeah, I might have to stop once or twice on this one.  Imagine the Cannonball Run kind of race you could make out of this, though.

Now that's what I call lazy...

I may try shopping like this from now on.  Imagine the time I could save: