The Simpsons + Star Wars = Video Gold

I guess he couldn't let his little brother show him up as being a total f*%# up...

I'm not sure if anyone's been paying any attention to the Michael Vick case, but I liked this illustration:

His sentencing is supposed to take place on December 1st. For anyone thinking he deserves leniency, I dare you to follow this link which is NSFW solely for the reason that the picture is really gruesome and may upset anyone who has dogs.

Simpsonize me, Swany style...

This is the best I could come up with using just the refinement tools available on the Simpsonize Me website.

Actually, I can't remember the last time I wore my white coat (this one's too short anyway). And the white on white bottoms make me look like a nurse (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'm not even sure I've ever owned a pair of white pants.

Unfortunately, Mac OS X doesn't come with an equivalent quick and simple application like MS Paint to adjust it further.

Simpsonize me!

Has anyone else checked this out yet? It was pretty fun, although I had to tweak my Simpsonization in Paint to get it looking more like me and my dog. Luckily Santa's Little Helper looks a lot like how my dog looks shaved for the summer.

http://simpsonizeme.com/

Photography Lesson #1

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

Warning: The trailer is rated R, and for good reason. D.A.M.N! Something tells me this one is just a little different then the first AvP.

MMOvie

Pretty funny video using the World Of Warcraft engine. You don't have to know anything about WoW, just about movies.

Monkey walking bulldogs with Japanese commentary = video gold...

I thought this video from Japan Probe was a hoot. They always have similar shows like this or some Asian soap opera playing on the big TV when the wife and I go out for Korean food every week. I can't understand a word, but they always seem to put a smile on my face:

Road trippin' with VY...

I figured Wild Willie would appreciate this site: Little Vince's Road Trip.

And to spur on Willie's admiration of Vince even more, check this out--the Vince Young pre-paid Visa Card!

If only Fox Mulder worked for the CIA and not the FBI...

Yesterday, a two-year old secret document was declassified and released to the public which criticized former CIA director George Tenet and the top leadership in the spy agency of a mess of bureucratic red tape and budgeting snafus that failed to prepare the United States for the threat of al-Qaeda prior to the events of September 11th. Well, apparently the CIA did have knowledge of the terrorist plot straight from their own experiments in remote viewing and psychics, as you can see from this post in Wired.

But those pre-cogs hidden away in some secret spy room at Langley aren't the only ones that foresaw an attack on the World Trade Center. If you recall the pilot episode for The Lone Gunmen, a spin-off from The X-Files, the writers of that show didn't think flying a plane into the the Twin Towers was that farfetched either:



Obviously, mere coincidence, but kind of spooky if you let your mind wander and allow your paranoid side a chance to take over.

Star Wars: A Battle done right

Had a Star Wars buddy here send me this. I choked I was laughing so hard. Is it just me or should this be the version for the next Star Wars "special editions"?

Music

My wife and I happily stumbled upon a gift card for iTunes recently. Well, stumbled isn't exactly true. We have a grocer here in NC that gives you a gift if you spend $40 in one purchase for 14 out of 16 weeks. This is not a hard feat for us to accomplish. We have already receive some fold up camping chairs this year which have come in handy on more than one occasion. This last week we had our choice at a handful of different $25 gift certificates. My wife gave me the choice between iTunes and the Outback Steakhouse. I'll spend money on a steak without a second thought. Spending money on music though is a place I will typically hold back. Knowing this, I told her it would be more fun to use it on music.

The problem, though, is that I don't feel like I am in the loop, and I don't know what to buy. With this stuff burning a hole in my pocket I am in need of your help. I have heard that James Morrison would be a good purchase, but I am unsure from the thirty second clips I hear. Name one new artist you would purchase right now, and if you had to buy any 2 songs what would they be?

Bear with me, I'm obsessed with stuff like this...

As you all know, my wife and I still have no kids, but we plan to some day, and because of that, I have this odd fascination with baby strollers and stroller technology. The Bugaboo Frog has become the "it" stroller for wealthy hipster couples and their infant offspring over the past couple of years or so. A stroll through any trendy metropolitan area will probably garner at least a few sightings of this Dutch invention or its updated brethren such as the Gecko or Cameleon along the sidewalks and streets. Now one would think I've fallen for yet another badge of overpriced yuppiedom that's more style than substance, but truth is, I find these strollers to be the equivalent to comparing fine European automobiles to their American counterparts. With it's well-thought out interchangeablility, foldability, and it's revolutionary shocks, the Bugaboo rolls like a sport-tuned BMW while some domestic baby ride looks like a Chevy Malibu. Honestly, what male couldn't love this stuff?

But what is one to do when traveling and portability is key? Before, you'd have to go buy something like a MacLaren, and sadly leave the technological advances of the Bugaboo at home while your baby bemoans the loss of his/her smooth-as-butter ride. Come September, though, not anymore 'cause Bugaboo will then release their new model, the Bee. Yeah, yeah, this video is a little gay, but check out those shocks, man! Check out the handling! Nice:

Don't worry about the stripper pole, you can watch this at work...

Another slow blogging day for me.  Maybe I'm getting a bit burned out.  Anywho, here's a video to contribute a bit of laughter to your day:


Pole Dance Cat Fight - Watch more free videos

Just released in theaters and soon to invade a DVD bin near you...

The roles that A-list movie stars pick often bewilder me. Nicole Kidman, owning three Golden Globes and an Oscar in her resume, could probably have her pick of any role she chooses. Yet she's come up with a couple of real stinkers in the past such as The Stepford Wives and Bewitched. One could say she isn't cut out for mainstream movies, but I'm quite a fan of her other thrillers The Peacemaker and The Interpreter. And truth be told, I liked her in Days of Thunder. But after watching The Invasion this weekend, I'm left scratching my head again as to why such a talented and beautiful actress with such Hollywood clout would devote her efforts to another mediocre film.

I guess money could be a reason--she reportedly became the highest paid actress in the world currently by receiving $17 million for her role as Dr. Carol Bennell, a Washington D.C. psychiatrist who uncovers an alien disease taking over the world and turning the human race into zombies. Working with an up and coming director Oliver Hirschbiegel and a stellar back-up cast with the likes of Daniel Craig and Jeffrey Wright doesn't hurt either. Rumor prior to its release, too, buzzed about the script for this fourth remake of The Body Snatchers as being a completely fresh take on the science fiction thriller genre with a timely allegory to the current political climate of the world. This movie, however, never quite achieved that lofty goal. Bad early test screenings forced Warner Bros. to rework the entire movie (bringing in the uncredited Wachowski Brothers of The Matrix fame, no less), and delayed its premiere by a whole year. Interestingly, you can sort of tell. Something about the flow of The Invasion is just a little disjointed at times. Perhaps this was to reflect the disjointed personalities of humans infected by the alien germ, but whatever the case, it doesn't quite work.

Nicole Kidman is quite easy on the eyes and her allure keeps you drawn into the movie. Her acting is quite up to par to most of her previous work, but otherwise this wasn't that memorable of a film. What suspense exists never really had me on the edge of my seat, and the final act to wrap the whole thing up doesn't satisfy. The film throws in a blatant monologue of a speech by some Russian at a dinner party about our innate nature for conflict to really try and beat it over your head that this movie was supposed to be something much deeper than your typical zombie movie. And perhaps, in its original incarnation it was. You can tease out a few signs of artistry and moodiness early on. Maybe a great film is hidden in here somewhere. Too bad nobody found it.

Remember those daydreams of making your own comics and joining the greats?

I've never posted any endorsements for books on this blog (nor has anyone else from the Gang), which I think is kind of odd, considering how much we all seem to read. It's actually been a few years since I first picked up The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay when it came out in paperback. Intrigued by a novel about comic books which was the winner of the Pulitzer Prize, no less, it seemed inevitable that I'd sprint through to the end of this book in no time. Alas, other distractions of life in the form of work always seemed to prevent me from finishing it, never getting past the first fifty pages. So a couple of weeks ago, having all sorts of free time now, I pulled Michael Chabon's book off my bookshelf for the fifth time and started over from the beginning. In short, this may be one of the most enjoyable books I've ever read.

Now that may be an odd statement, considering all my false starts in the past. I've never read any of Chabon's prior writing, but anyone who has will know he's pretty descriptive and knows how to lay down some illustrative words. It's not that his writing is boring--it's that, at times, I felt like a dictionary would have been handy to have around to fully grasp the detailing he was trying to convey. You can certainly gloss through some of his lyrical prose, and get the gist of what's going on, but to do that, you'd also miss a lot of the heart and soul of this book. And at 636 pages, it can take a bit of time to savor it all.

Taking place in the years just preceding the entry of the United States into World War II, the story revolves around two cousins. Sammy Clay is a New Yorker with dreams bigger than himself of becoming a rich and famous comic book artist. With the arrival of his Jewish cousin Josef Kavalier, freshly smuggled out of Nazi-controlled Prague thanks, in part, to his Houdini-like skills of illusion and escape, Sammy's aspirations are realized. Together, they create The Escapist and find themselves in the creative center of the Golden Age of comics, rubbing elbows with the likes of Stan Lee, Gil Kane, and Will Eisner. However, Joe feels guilty about his newly earned fortune, as his family still remains in Europe under the tyrannical control of Nazi Germany, and he struggles to find a balance between his happiness in New York and the pangs of guilt of leaving his family behind in Prague. Sammy, too, has his own inner demons to deal with despite getting all he had aspired to be.

To any comic book reader, past or present, this is a real gem of a book. Chabon certainly must have been one because he seems to accurately capture that dream we all had for that brief stint in our lives of becoming comic book artists by the story of Kavalier and Clay's rise in the industry. The backdrop of this early period of comic books when Superman and Batman were in their infancy also adds a nostalgic twist to our perceptions of comics today.

There's some pretty emotional and heartfelt stuff in here. Along with their own personal struggles, the cousins also find themselves within a somewhat complicated love triangle with the main female character of the book, Rosa Saks. And entwined within this epic story are a broad range of heavy issues from homosexuality to anti-Semitism to censorship to intellectual property rights. The characters, too, are fully realized in vivid detail, and you can't help but feel for them as the events of the book unfold.

I highly recommend giving The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay a chance for your next read (especially to Wander and Firecracker George--I think you guys as aspiring writers would like this book). It's a bit long, but hard to put down, and definitely worth every second you spend with it.

I'm not sure this is quite tiding me over until college football season...

Last weekend, I happened to be flipping channels and caught the Fast Money MBA Challenge on CNBC. Kind of like Jeopardy for business-minded people, the Challenge pits MBA students from some of the top business schools in the nation against each other in a tournament that gets whittled down to a head-to-head showdown. Some of you will be pleased to know that the McCombs Business School of the University of Texas made it to the final. Hook 'em!

Sadly, from what I saw, this show has less to do with actual business school knowledge and more to do with business-related trivia. It actually makes MBA's look a bit dumb (Wander, please refrain from any G.W. Bush jokes), resorting to stereotypical tactics of trying to BS their way through questions. Case in point, a player from UCLA last week going on and on about how he was trying to recall who picked up their garbage during his childhood days in Minnesota in hopes of trying to answer the question of who is the largest waste management company in the United States.

I know a couple of MBA's who peruse the Kool-Aid Gang Blog, so I know there are smart guys with business degrees out there. The interactive "Are you smarter than an MBA student?" quiz on the CNBC website is probably more reflective of the knowledge base a business student must learn. Too bad they didn't use more of these type of questions in the game. I'll admit, though, the episode I watched was one of the early rounds--maybe the questions get harder the further in you get.

Boy, that's gotta be embarrassing...

I've never actually watched an episode of Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel, but I'm guessing he knows the best way to survive in the wild--stay close to civilization!

Poop-related post of the week...

I happened to catch this commercial on TV this afternoon. Seemed like your typical "healthy cereal" ad, at first, but then you notice the not so subtle suggestions in the background--very amusing:

In case people at work didn't already think you were a dork...

No, I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm trying to figure out how to pause your iPod...

At first glance, the idea of iPod controls embedded into a bikini top sounded like a good idea. Then I realized the buttons weren't located at the nipples. Ever realized how much the iPod click wheel resembles the female areola?

Darn. What a missed opportunity.

A reason to convert to Metric...

Sometime last winter after hearing a snippet of a song on The Andy Langer Show podcast, I picked up the solo debut release of Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton entitled Knives Don't Have Your Back. It's a relatively naked album, stripped down to the velvety beautiful voice of Haines and her piano skills with some subtle drum backup, occasional string arrangements, and a bass guitar--a great CD to just lie around and chill out to. The lyrics are at times depressing, often soothing, and always intriguing.

When not engaged in this side project of hers, Emily Haines fronts the Canadian indie rock band Metric. I seemed to have run across favorable bits here and there about the band in various press articles, but never really listened to much of their music, other than a concert video I happened to watch on a Frontier Airlines flight. Unfortunately for me, I was more distracted by the turbulence to actually enjoy what I was watching of the band's performance. The critics seem to really like them, and apparently, a couple of their songs have even made it into the current pipeline of "hipster" music that is the television soundtrack to Grey's Anatomy. Over the past couple of weeks, I've been giving their most recent release, Grow Up and Blow Away, quite a bit of play, and I have to say it's pretty darn good. Completely different from her solo effort, Haines' vocals still have quite some presence in a more up-tempo and rock-based sound scape. The songs are somewhat pop with an edge and a definite indie vibe, tunes that aren't too catchy to grab you on the first listen, but definitely improve with repeated listenings--just the way I like it.

Strangely, I found out after reading about this album on the internet, that Grow Up and Blow Away was actually supposed to be Metric's debut release when it was recorded back in 1999. It sort of got lost in the chaos of an emerging band shuffling between music labels, and never got released until this summer. Lucky for me, though, as now I can listen to the rest of their albums in chronological order as if I just discovered them, and hear how their musical style grows with age--cool.

If enough plastic collects, can it be considered a land mass, and can we plant a flag on it to claim it as our own country?

I seem to recall a question the wife and I posed to Fandango awhile back: Is it better to ask for paper or plastic at the grocery store? Practically, he said it didn't really make much of a difference. Although technically the plastic bag will take longer to disintegrate, both forms of bags theoretically should end up in a landfill, and neither would decompose within our lifetimes. Unfortunately, a substantial amount of the plastic produced in the world manages to avoid the garbage dumps altogether, and never makes it to that landfill. If you're a piece of plastic that's lucky enough to have escaped to the Pacific Ocean, you'll likely find yourself perpetually floating in the great sink of the Northern Pacific Gyre, a huge collection of circulating bits of trash, driftwood, and the like that seems to be forever trapped due to the natural currents of the water.

So realizing that some of our plastic waste could take a detour to places we never even dreamed of, we got a little more enthusiastic about recycling. In fact, now our trash seems to be miniscule in comparison to the stuff we throw in the recycling bin for pick-up every week. And we felt like we didn't have to make a decision between paper or plastic--we'd just throw both in for recycling. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be quite the utopian answer I was looking for. According to this article in Salon, recycling those plastic bags isn't such an easy task, and actually disrupts what's otherwise a pretty streamlined operation:

Ask John Jurinek, the plant manager at Recycle Central, what's wrong with plastic bags and he has a one-word answer: "Everything." Plastic bags, of which San Franciscans use some 180 million per year, cannot be recycled here. Yet the hopeful arrow symbol emblazoned on the bags no doubt inspires lots of residents to toss their used ones into the blue recycling bin, feeling good that they've done the right thing. But that symbol on all kinds of plastic items by no means guarantees they can be recycled curbside. (The plastic bags collected at the recycling plant are trucked to the regular dump.) By chucking their plastic bags in the recycling, what those well-meaning San Franciscans have done is throw a plastic wrench into the city's grand recycling factory. If you want to recycle a plastic bag it's better to bring it back to the store where you got it.

As the article points out, the best answer seems to be reusing those bags as many times as feasibly possible or switching to canvas bags and bringing those to the store the next time you need something to haul your groceries home. Of course, in a world where its trendy to show just how conscious one is about humanitarian and conservation issues, someone had to make a particular canvas bag the "it" bag to prominently display ones good deed. The "I'm not a plastic bag" bag is so hip, in fact, they sold out in New York City faster than Tickle Me Elmos at Christmas time. The demand is so insane, people from as far away as Hong Kong actually flew to New York in hopes of getting a hold of one of the coveted bags when they were released at Whole Foods Markets across the city--think of how much in the way of carbon emissions was released during that flight alone. Way to fight the fight for global warming...idiots.

I'm telling ya, World War III will break out in the North Pole...

First, we've got the dispute between the United States and Canada over who controls the shipping lanes through the Northwest Passage. Then, Russia planted its rust-proof flag in the middle of the ocean bed under the North Pole to stake their claim in the region, claiming the Lomonosov Ridge is actually a land extension of their country. Now, the Danes are sending in their own expedition to prove that this undersea stretch of mountains is actually contiguous with Greenland, and thus, the property of the ol' House of Denmark.

It's going to be the next hot spot for trouble, I tell ya. But think of all the cool battles that would take place. Gunfights on skis, snowshoes, and snowmobiles. Submarine battles straight out of The Hunt for Red October. Hockey matches on the glacier tops when they all figure out it's way too cold up there to be fighting over oil.

Casanova...

This is pretty good. I wasn't quite sure at first if it was staged. I'll need to check out the other stuff these guys have done.

This is what I call INSANE!!

I'm glad there's crazy people out there to give me joy in watching stuff like this:

I wonder what he'd do on a halfpipe...

I was watching an iPhone commercial and had to find the skateboarding bulldog YouTube video that makes an appearance in it. Little did I know, that Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog is a pretty famous canine. And he's a pretty darn good skater, too:

Because soy milk and Tofutti just isn't the same...

Just like the price of oil going up due to increased consumption and demand for gasoline in China, the BBC warns that milk and other dairy products might start to rise, as well. This seems to be in part due to a new initiative spearheaded by the Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao and an overrriding perception amongst the Chinese peasant population that they must emulate western culture in order to match them in prosperity and strength. That, and the fact that ice cream just tastes damn good. Of course, a substantial number of Asians are lactose intolerant, which is probably partially why dairy products haven't taken off more quickly in Asia despite the proliferation of the global marketplace. As you're all well aware of, I can relate to the desire for all things dairy despite my genetically programmed intestinal inability to produce enough lactase. I've tried soy and rice milk with my cereal, eaten ice cream bars made out of tofu, put soy-based cheese in my sandwiches--yuck. It's like trying to pass off a veggie burger for real beef or making bacon out of turkey. Please, don't tease me. Luckily, supplemental lactose hydrolyzing enzymes in the form of over-the-counter Lactaid are available to allow me to enjoy a bit of ice cream and cheese without having to plan for a panicked run to the bathroom.

So as China increases their consumption of milk, I suggest investing in two things: Lactase enzyme manufacturers and toilet bowl makers. Once they discover Lactaid, they'll be flying off the shelves. And considering many people will either not use them or buy fake ones on the black market that don't work, diarrhea runs to the bathroom will likely increase and more toilets will be needed. How do you like that investor speculation?

Maybe making them dress up in drag would be more effective...

The odd news from Thailand all over the internet today is about plans by the Bangkok Police to use Hello Kitty armbands as sort of a mark of shame in order to crack down on undisciplined cops. From the BBC:

The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it.

From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days.

The armband is designed to shame the wearer, police officials said.

"This is to help build discipline. We should not let small offences go unnoticed," Police Colonel Pongpat Chayapan told Reuters news agency.

"Guilty officers will be made to wear the armbands in the office for a few days, with instructions not to disclose their offences. Let people guess what they have done," he said.

Further offences would be dealt with using a more traditional disciplinary panel, he said.

This sounded like an interesting idea to me at first, playing on a male's machismo to publically embarrass him into compliance with the rules. But considering how popular Hello Kitty is in Asia and the universal desire to make a quick buck, my guess is that this plan will backfire, and policemen will willingly break a rule or two to get one. I mean, just think how much a genuine one of these would go for on eBay.

Gotta hit my poop quota for the week...

One of the oddest viral videos on YouTube in the past couple of months has been "Chocolate Rain" by Tay Zonday. I was tempted to embed the video in the post, but I thought I'd spare you from my usual sadomasochistic urges to pollute your ears this week. Instead, I'll give you John Mayer's interpretation of "Chocolate Rain" that's pretty funny:

I got McDooooooonald's hambugaaahs...

Remember that comedy sketch from Raw? Perhaps if Eddie Murphy's mother had wrapped up that egg-filled hamburger in a McDonald's box, it wouldn't have been so bad. From CNN:

The study had youngsters sample identical McDonald's foods in name-brand and unmarked wrappers. The unmarked foods always lost the taste test.

...

Study author Dr. Tom Robinson said the kids' perception of taste was "physically altered by the branding." The Stanford University researcher said it was remarkable how children so young were already so influenced by advertising.

The study involved 63 low-income children ages 3 to 5 from Head Start centers in San Mateo County, Calif. Robinson believes the results would be similar for children from wealthier families.

I wonder how kids raised on watching Veggie Tales come out in this study.

Shooting up on celluloid epinephrine...

The Bourne Identity was a fresh take on the espionage thriller back when Doug Liman helmed the first part of the franchise based loosely (extremely loosely) on Robert Ludlum's trilogy of books. What seemed like an odd casting choice at the time with Good Will Hunting himself, Matt Damon, seemed even stranger when a guy known only for a sleeper hit comedy Swingers was placed in the director's chair to bring this roller coaster action film to life. Lucky for us. Instead of the glitzy, gadget-laden spy world of James Bond or the suspension-of-disbelief scenarios of Mission: Impossible, Liman relied on old-fashioned suspense, tension, non-stop pacing, and pure action to keep the audience enthralled. Jason Bourne is on the run from his assassins using modern day technology, martial arts, his brain, and lots of natural adrenaline as his tools of escape instead of Q-division laser watches or explosive bubble gum. By the second film, The Bourne Supremacy, Paul Greengrass took over the franchise, and somehow made a movie even more kinetic than its predecessor. And to prove that was no fluke, they brought him in for the third installment of the franchise, The Bourne Ultimatum.

As the first two films, The Bourne Ultimatum really uses nothing from the source material its title comes from. It's actually a bit surprising they chose to continue using the titles for these films considering how far the plot deviates from the books. Instead of the book plot where Jason Bourne is being hunted down by Carlos the Jackal, the movie version takes place shortly after the events of the film version of The Bourne Supremacy. Bourne uncovers more information that may lead him to learn more about his true identity. As a result, the sinister underworkings of a CIA black-ops division are in danger of being compromised, and Jason Bourne finds himself being hunted down yet again.

To say Paul Greengrass likes to keep things moving is an understatement--this flick flies like a supersonic jet. Jason Bourne is perpetually on the run, and you'd have to be asleep or dead not to feel like you're running with him. And it's not just a trick of placing action sequence after action sequence together. Michael Bay tries to do that with all his movies, and all it manages to do is make me slightly nauseous most of the time. Instead, Greengrass manages to give you just the right shots to keep you fully engrossed in the scene without making you dizzy and somehow convinces you that you're actually standing in the midst of the action. He's really becoming one of the greats in this action genre. Owen Gleiberman from Entertainment Weekly really sums it up well in the introductory paragraph of his own review of the film:

Marveling at the uncanny off-center camera technique of Jaws, Alfred Hitchcock, during a TV interview late in his life, offered the following description of the director he referred to as ''young Spielberg '': ''He's the first one of us who doesn't see the proscenium arch.'' Spielberg, in other words, was the first mainstream filmmaker whose visual awareness didn't derive from the classic spatial dynamics of the theater. Watching The Bourne Ultimatum, with its swervy, headlong, you are there images of a man on the run from forces he senses yet cannot see, I remembered Hitchcock's words, and I thought: If Spielberg doesn't see the proscenium arch, then Paul Greengrass barely even sees the stage. He's that live-wire and intoxicating a wizard of suspense.

Film scores always separate the great movies from the so-so ones, and familiar musical themes used in all the previous Bourne films written by composer John Powell further aid in keeping the adrenaline levels high throughout the movie, and Moby's "Extreme Ways" to finish it out as it always does has you leaving the theater thoroughly pumped up.

Matt Damon reprises his role as Jason Bourne, and seems to have really grown into this role. David Straithairn, portraying director of the black-ops division, is the newest cast member to be introduced in this film as the leading baddie. Joan Allen comes back from her role in the second sequel as CIA deputy director Pamela Landy. Also returning is Nicky Parsons, played by Julia Stiles, and proves that all great action films can still be ruined by the presence of one unneeded woman. I have yet to understand what vital piece of this puzzle the character of Nicky fills, and I'm not sure The Bourne Ultimatum has come up with one either. After every Bourne film so far, I've walked out of the theater wondering if the majority of the scenes with Julia Stiles are on the cutting room floor because the insistence of keeping her around never makes sense. So as not to give out any spoilers whatsoever, there's a little bit at the end of this post in Invisotext telling you what happens to Nicky Parsons, although it doesn't really give away anything vital.

In a summer that gave me some mild disappointments with Spiderman 3 and Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End, it was a delight to find that they saved the best for the end of the season--this was truly the most satisfying film I've seen all summer long. Robert Ludlum stopped writing additional sequels to the Bourne series after The Bourne Ultimatum--let's hope the movie studios have other plans.

I was tempted to give The Bourne Ultimatum the "Dangerously Cheesy" rating, and probably would have if they killed off Julia Stiles' character, but alas, she lives on to perhaps costar in another Bourne sequel. And for that, I must give this film my downgraded rating of:

We probably didn't provide exactly what he/she was looking for...

It's always fun to see what brings random visitors to the blog:

Man, that had to hurt...

Remember those homemade half-pipes skaters used to build in their driveways back when we were kids? Bunny slopes compared to the modern day skater park. I don't watch the X-Games that much, so I was shocked to see how monstrous they've become now. And as the saying goes, the higher you go, the harder you fall:

Lookout! It's Zlad!

Deleted Scenes

When DVD's first came out I was a big fan of all the extras. I would watch all the deleted scenes from any movie I rented. Now, though, I only watch the extras on the shows I extremely like. On the shows that are just entertaining I typically pass on the extras and head for the bed.

There was a movie I watched a few years back that was worthy of deleted scene watching - High Fidelity. I was shocked that one particular scene didn't make it into the movie because I found it to be the funniest scene. If it were in the movie it would take place at the end of the movie where Rob (John Cusack) is talking about his wedding and having a band come play. Barry (Jack Black) wants his band to play the wedding, but Rob doesn't think it would be a good idea. Here it is for your viewing pleasure.

Wouldn't you like to own the North Pole?

According to a news blip I heard on CNBC today, and doing a quick internet search on the topic, it appears that all you have to do is plant a flag on the North Pole to own it. There is one problem with that though. There is no land mass, just a big block of ice floating around.

This is no problem if you are one of the richest men in the world (possibly THE richest). Vladimir Putin has decided that all he has to do is plant a flag at the bottom of the Arctic Ocean in the right location and then that area belongs to Russia. So he got together some Russian Lawmakers, a big ice breaker ship, and a mini-sub. Supposedly today they planted the Russian flag there.

How do you keep the flag from deteriorating? Just make one out of Titanium and that should do the trick.

Why would you want to do such a thing? Because this area could contain 1/4 of all the undiscovered oil in the world.

Too bad the moon doesn't have oil on it. We were the first to plant a flag there. I think that we should charge other countries to use the moonlight and the tides it creates. Or better yet, why don't we go ahead and let everyone use it for free and just hurry up and find another source of energy besides oil.

Hint: If there's a triceratops on your version of Harry Potter, it's probably fake...

Even though I haven't read any of the Harry Potter books, I'm still amazed by the huge fan base this series has amassed that seems to rival those of Star Wars or Trekkies. And with such a fanatical interest in this franchise, it's no surprise that a huge collection of amateur fan fiction exists out there. It's also no surprise that a bunch of bootleg copies of the Harry Potter books would exist. The crazy thing, though, is how China, a country where counterfeiters have raised the bar of stealing intellectual and artistic property to a whole new level, has even managed to rip-off these amateur writers in order to make a quick buck. In an article from The New York Times:

The iterations of Potter fraud and imitation here are, in fact, so copious they must be peeled back layer by layer.

There are the books, like the phony seventh novel, that masquerade as works written by Ms. Rowling. There are the copies of the genuine items, in both English and Chinese, scanned, reprinted, bound and sold for a fraction of the authorized texts.

As in some other countries, there are the unauthorized translations of real Harry Potter books, as well as books published under the imprint of major Chinese publishing houses, about which the publishers themselves say they have no knowledge. And there are the novels by budding Chinese writers hoping to piggyback on the success of the series — sometimes only to have their fake Potters copied by underground publishers who, naturally, pay them no royalties.

No one can say with any certainty what the full tally is, but there are easily a dozen unauthorized Harry Potter titles on the market here already, and that is counting only bound versions that are sold on street corners and can even be found in school libraries. Still more versions exist online.

These include “Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Relative Prince,” a creation whose name in Chinese closely resembles the title of the genuine sixth book by Ms. Rowling, as well as pure inventions that include “Harry Potter and the Hiking Dragon,” “Harry Potter and the Chinese Empire,” “Harry Potter and the Young Heroes,” “Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon,” and “Harry Potter and the Big Funnel.”

Considering the Chinese stereotypically have this problem with order and waiting in lines, I guess it's no surprise that they would make up these fake versions to appease the masses. Consider this father from the NYT article:

One such writer is a manager at a Shanghai textile factory named Li Jingsheng. “I bought Harry Potter 1 through 6 for my son a couple of years ago, and when he finished reading them, he kept asking me to tell him what happens next,” he explained. “We couldn’t wait, so I began making up my own story and in May last year, I typed it up on my computer. I had to get up early and go to bed late to write this novel, usually spending one hour, from 6 to 7 in the morning and 10 to 11 in the evening to write it.”

The result was “Harry Potter and the Showdown,” a 250,000-word novel, the final version of which he placed recently on Web sites, followed by a notice saying he was looking for publishers. The book quickly logged 150,000 readers on a popular Chinese site, Baidu.com’s Harry Potter fan Web page.

I think that was a pretty cool thing he did for his son, but hopefully, he told his kid that this wasn't the real seventh and final book. Imagine if he never knew of the existence of the final book, and went around in life thinking his dad's version was the real deal.

Anywho, just so I'm not ripping off anyone else myself, you can find the picture I used above along with some other scanned photos of bootlegged Harry Potter books in Asia from Mutant Frog Travelogue.

Sacrificing the health of kids to make a point? Shame on you...

My wife and I find ourselves at times mimicking couples like James Carville and Mary Matalin--happily married, but at polar opposites when it comes to political issues. But on issues such as the ongoing debate about funding for State Children's Health Insurance Programs (CHIP), I'm finding myself continuing to slide closer to her on the left.

CHIP is a government-sponsored plan which provides basic medical coverage and presciption drugs to children whose families earn too much to qualify for Medicaid and too little to afford private health insurance. The program has been relatively successful in the ten years it has been implemented, but more funding is needed to ensure all kids in this group are covered. As the plan is set to expire in two months, Democrats and a few Republicans from across the aisle have been scrambling to put together a bill that increases federal funding of the program. The House, in fact, just approved their version of the bill today by a narrow margin of 225-204. Republicans, however, see this as a sneaky way of introducing socialized, government-run health care into the system, and want the program halted. In fact, President Bush has already stated he would veto any such bill that comes to his desk.

As much as I tend to fear what a catastrophe government-run medical care would be like in the United States, I can't agree with this ideological stand the Republican Party is taking. Florida Senator Mel Martinez probably sums up the skewed conservative logic on this issue:

“A number of us on the Republican side really do believe that we need to insure every American, and the way to do that is to provide the tax credits necessary to allow people to obtain individual private health insurance policies.”

Well, that's all fine and good if you could guarantee those people would actually buy insurance for their kids, a legal mandate that pretty much every Republican opposses. So instead, we'll be left with this growing population of uninsured children. Hospitals tend to eat up the costs of the uninsured, which is why many of America's top children's hospital budgets seem to run in the red each year. As a result, I fear we'll all be feeling the hurt in the form of increased medical fees and health insurance premiums. Heck, someone's has to pay for all this. It's strange that we can all agree that children are entitled to a free education up to the age until they reach adulthood, but we can't all agree that their health needs should be covered, too. It's one thing to give adults the right to choose whether they should spend their money on health insurance or not, but it's ridiculous that conservatives are taking a stand on the issue of socialized medicine using a pediatric population that needs to be protected.

Perhaps I don't know enough about the details of this plan, but certainly the Republicans aren't making much of a case for themselves if there is something I've missed in this whole debate. I have a feeling this is really going to bite them back in the end. Interestingly, I don't even think Democrats are pushing for actual "socialized" health care, just "universal" health care. Even looking back at Hillary Clinton's debacle to introduce radical health care reform back in the early 90's, what was summed up as a left-wing plot to socialize medicine in the U.S. actually was based on a foundation of private HMO's and insurance companies providing the actual medical care. The two words aren't synonymous, but conservatives seem to be trying their best to make them so.

03.06.09 To Watch The Watchmen

No, that isn't a cover from the Watchmen series, that is the first official movie poster of the film. If that does not bode well for this production, nothing will.

Just to top it all off, here are some cool quotes from director Zack Snyder at the San Diego Comic-Con last weekend.

"I have been having a lot of fun, because I always say treat the graphic novel like it was written 2,000 years ago, and it is an illuminated text, and we are disciples of this religion and we have to make sure that we won't be burned at the stake for heresy after we make the movie. So I think that's the fun that we also have. Even just as small of things as when Rorschach burns the S.W.A.T. cops with hairspray, we were sitting around and they showed me some hairsprays, some ratty hairspray cans, and I go the labels are wrong. They're like "what do you mean?" I [flip through my reference materials], see? You could do that with every single thing in the movie."

"I take the graphic novel and I have the script and I say, okay, Rorschach comes into someone's apartment. That's what I have [on the page]. Then I say how did they draw that? I [realize] I need to be a little over here because there's a staircase on our set, but basically referencing that frame, so I cut that frame out and glue it in my book next to the drawing I did. That way on the day I can go, wouldn't it be cool if that shadow was the same as [in the comic]? So it's not quite as easy as just going "oh, that shot, that shot, that shot." You go, "that shot, oh, that shot's weird, that shot makes sense for our set, and then this isn't in the book, it's voiceover, so I've got to make it up." So it's a ballet or something - I don't know (laughs)."

Will it be a good film? Only time will tell. But, I got a growing feeling it will be.

Music, Art, and Entertainment

Listening to music can evoke all sorts of emotions from laughter to despair. It can cause you to get up on your feet and dance, and it can even cause you to fall asleep. Music can change your mood in a heartbeat. I believe this goes for all sorts of music from pop or rap to musical scores and the soulful blues. Everyone has probably had a fun time dancing to music at one time or another in their life. It might have been while they were completely alone, or it might have even been in a club. And while all of these are nice sounds their is nothing quite as incredible as when you hear the rare artist who can use the atmosphere as their canvas to create masterpieces. This can translate to recorded music that you buy, but it is best when heard live.

I go to concerts for two reasons. One, I go hoping for the entertainment piece. This would be similar to Swany's take on the Simpsons movie. Good entertainment but nothing that would stick with you for months or even years. I have been to many Robert Earl Keen performances and it is just good Texas style entertainment. The only lasting thing from these is just the "good times" memories. I would guess that any pop star concert is going to be the same way - just good memories with your friends.

THe second reason I go to concerts is that I go hoping for the artistic passionate piece to come out. The best part about this reason is that I usually get both peices together - entertainment and art. Going to the symphony fits into this category for me. I can only dream of seeing Jimi Hendrix live because I feel like I would get to experience his passion and his art. I haven't ever seen Dave Matthews yet but I would think this would be a group that presents their art. The same goes for sitting in on a jam session with Stevie Ray Vaughn, or some of the blues greats.

While I will never have the opportunity to listen to Hendrix or SRV live, I have gotten the chance to experience what I am talking about. Last night I was blessed with getting to see not one, but two incredible musicians who are artists that paint the air with passion.

The opening act was Ben Folds. I believe I have let the Kool-Aid Gang know about his live shows before, and I will do it again. First of all, Ben Folds plays the piano, and he only sits about half the time he is playing. He gets the crowd involved with singing notes, and his hands are incredible to watch. And then there is the stuff where he is really funny and smart with what he does. Take for instance that last night he was joking around about how the military has tested low frequency sounds to see what the effects are on people. "14 MHz will make you shit your pants. Well it will at least make the people up in the front do that. Maybe not the people on the lawn. But don't you think that the people who pay more money to see the show should get to shit their pants." (Not an exact quote but pretty darn close.) He then goes on to play an 18 MHz note, then a 16 MHz note, and he stops there for fun. Also take his rendition of a rap song from the early 90's. Claiming that most lyrics nowadays are crappy and we don't listen to them anyway, he takes the lyrics from the rap song, sets it to a nice melody and gets everyone to sing along saying "Bitches can't hang with the streets." He is an amazing entertainer, but he also has amazing artistic talent. Last night while playing the grand piano, he kicked off his shoes and socks, and used his foot to play the electronic keyboard just so he could get the sound he wanted. At another time he reached inside the piano with one hand to directly play the strings while still playing the keys with the other hand. That is some major talent, and the sound that comes from it completely draws me in and involuntarily puts a smile on my face. This is good stuff, and he is worth seeing anytime he comes to your neck of the woods.



Finally the showcase of the evening was John Mayer. Most people would say he is a pop artist, but he loves on a guitar the way I would imagine Hendrix or SRV would. My wife thought there were too many jam sessions in his set, I couldn't disagree more. I have heard some jam sessions with other artists that just didn't need to be there. They don't have the passion. I feel that they just want the recognition of being a rock star. Mayer's ability, however, to close his eyes and feel the music effortlessly release itself from the prison of silence is beautiful. I get the feeling listening to him that he would free those sounds regardless of who or if anyone was even listening. What an amazing show. It doesn't have to be Mayer, but I hope everyone gets to experience passionate music live just once in their lifetime.

So it was OK for us to have those fantasies about Winnie Cooper?

Remember Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years? Who knew she's about the same age as us here in the Gang? At age 32, Danica McKellar is set to debut a book she wrote to encourage young girls to enjoy math. From The Washington Post:

"When girls see the antics of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, they think that being fun and glamorous also means being dumb and irresponsible," the 32-year-old McKellar told Newsweek for editions to hit newsstands Monday.

"But I want to show them that being smart is cool," she said. "Being good at math is cool. And not only that, it can help them get what they want out of life."

Apparently, she knows a thing or two about mathematics--she graduated summa cum laude from UCLA with a degree in the subject.

I guess it's pretty neat that she's trying to get girls to think being brainy is cool. Personally, I think it's sexy. Unfortunately, I don't think one could use the same approach with boys to make math interesting. Well, unless Winnie came out with a math book with her teaching algebra in this (slightly NSFW--click at your own risk). It would sure beat our junior high math teachers--"Pack 'em up, stack 'em up, put 'em in a pile..."