Swany's Top 10 Movies of 2006

It's a new year, so I tried thinking back trying to compile my top ten list of movies for 2006. I seem to remember this being a good year for film, but I actually had a hard time coming up with ten movies that were really worth mentioning. Actually, I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't come up with a better list. I know we all like movies, though, so I'm hoping this will spark a little discussion in the comments board:

1. The Departed - Great plot, great acting, and Scorsese doing what he does best. Who knew Leonardo DiCaprio would develop into such a good actor?
   
2. Casino Royale - Less preposterous gadgets, plots, and villains. More action. More soul. The future of Her Majesty's Secret Service on the big screen looks bright.
   
3. Superman Returns - One of the best superhero films, in my opinion.
   
4. Mission Impossible: III - Sure, it was a two hour episode of Alias starring Tom Cruise, but why is that necessarily a bad thing? Boycotting Tom Cruise is just silly. Who cares about his Scientology beliefs? Heck, half of Hollywood doesn't believe in anything. No one is as dependable for good high-octane entertainment at the movies than Tom.
   
5. United 93 - Almost made me want to throw up, it was that powerful. I normally see movies to escape the real world. Scary that this one was grounded (no pun intended) fully in reality.
   
6. The Painted Veil - I'm a sucker for a romance, and this one was painfully truthful.
   
7. Hard Candy - It's an odd film that actually manages to create a tiny amount of sympathy for a pedophile. It's a fleeting moment, but a moment, nonetheless.
   
8. An Inconvenient Truth - May be the first time I actually kind of admired Al Gore. With the wacky winter we're having, perhaps he's on to something. You have to kind of wonder whether this side of him would have ever gotten out had he become President.
   
9. Miami Vice - Not perfect, but still very Michael Mann.
   
10. The Science of Sleep - Another love story, albeit a very trippy love story. I'm such a sissy.
    

Notable movies I missed (that very well could have ended up on my top 10):

• Down in the Valley
• The Illusionist
• Flags of Our Fathers/Letters From Iwo Jima
• Borat
• Half Nelson
• The Fountain
• Apocolypto
• Blood Diamond
• Stranger Than Fiction
• The Good Shepard
  

Movies I didn't get, but seemed to end up on a lot of people's top ten lists:

• Babel - The more I think about this movie, the more I think I get it. Still, I'll need to view it again at some point to elevate it's status in my mind.
  
• Little Miss Sunshine - A funny movie, but not as heart-grabbing as I was led to believe.
  

There's frugal, and then there's really frugal...

It's been awhile since any of us poked a little fun at Wild Willie's frugal nature. But for some reason, after reading this article about hypermilers, I sat and wondered if Willie ever had an inkling to go to these extremes to get just that little bit more out of a gallon of gas. Seems like a different way to motivate one's self to succeed in that New Year's Resolution to lose weight:

What can't be jettisoned is Wayne himself, who at 6 feet 1 inch and 210 pounds looks too big to fit into this tin can two-seater. ("I would love to lose 60 pounds," he tells me, "because it would help my mileage.") In Wayne's world, fuel efficiency is not about the car. It's about the driver. Wayne doesn't get high mpg marks by tinkering with engines or using funky fuels or even, most days, by driving a hybrid. He gets them by driving consciously—hyperconsciously. He takes out his wallet and his keys. Then he removes his sneakers.

I know we've all pushed our cars to the limits of empty, running solely on fumes and adrenaline that we can make it just a little bit farther till the tank really runs out of gas. But when you start ditching clothing in the name of saving weight? Man, I think Willie has met his match.

What would life have been had we all became comic book artists?

Marvel Girl by Matt Kindt

Last night, the wife and I went to the opening of an art exhibit at the Mad Art Gallery here in St. Louis. Called Famous Fictional: Portraits from Comics and Fiction, a number of artists were asked to submit a character from literature and one from comic books in painted, illustrated, or sculpted form.

I've never actually attended an exhibition opening, but was glad to have caught this one, especially with it's interest in comics. My favorite piece (shown above) was actually not shown in the gallery, but rather was commissioned as an advertisement for the exhibition printed in St. Louis Magazine. At my wife's coaxing, I actually was able to meet the artist, Matt Kindt, who explained that he actually drew the picture while on a book signing tour in Paris. The scene is from his vantage point sitting in the bookstore, if I'm not mistaken. He couldn't decide on a comic book character to incorporate into the picture, but decided on Marvel Girl upon the suggestion of the Mad Art Gallery owner. The image is small, but notice the levitating book she's reading, as well as Cyclops pushing Professor X in his wheelchair in the background--very cool! Cyclops and Marvel Girl basically got me started on comics after I picked up my first copy of X-Factor at the local Safeway (or was it already a Homeland by then) with Scootypuff back in the day. Needless to say, I had to get a signed copy of this picture which is now hanging on my wall.

Give Matt Kindt's website a perusal in your free time. He seemed like a friendly guy (which I sometimes find unusual in this city) and he's got a nice free online comic called Super Spy that's worth a read. I've never really given alternative comics a shot--perhaps I'll try reading some now.

And my thanks to my beautiful and thoughtful wife who told me about this exhibit in the first place!

I know I shouldn't like it, but I do...

In response to Wild Willie's question:


After my comments to Wander's last post about video game violence, I'm almost ashamed to admit that I really enjoy watching Entourage (at least what I've been able to see of it for free on the internet--makes me feel doubly naughty). Prevalent marijuana use, sexual promiscuity complete with plenty of one night stands with smoking hot babes and a menage-a-trois, gluttonous shopping sprees for exotic Italian cars and other extravagant toys--heck, I could probably name an example of all seven of the deadly sins in any episode. This certainly can't be good for my perceptions of what's righteous in this world. But I guess we all sort of find a voyeuristic entertainment value in watching things that we can't really experience ourselves. I guess sin is supposed to feel good at some base level--it wouldn't take so much self discipline not to fall into those temptations if they weren't.

At the center of the show, though, is genuine friendship. Despite all the craziness of Hollywood life, Entourage still manages to find some heart watching these four young men bond, and does it in some pretty amusing ways. You get the sense that even if all the money and fame dried up, these guys would still be best buddies for life, kinda how I feel about you guys in the Gang. Perhaps this is why Entourage connects with guys in the same way Sex and the City caught on with so many women--we all just want to have that core group of friends we know we can depend on.

Remember Ricky?

Ricky Williams will try and return to the NFL next season and resume his position with the Miami Dolphins at running back.

I guess it's easy to forget the accomplishments of Ricky Williams given his two suspensions for marijuana use and his somewhat odd persona. In light of the recent Vince-anity over the past year, I had forgotten he crossed over the border to play for the Argonauts this season. He seems to be an interesting guy, though, when you stop and think about what exactly has been driving him all these years.

I've read a few stories about Ricky Williams. This story in Esquire came out a couple of years ago after his first NFL suspension where the author found him pretty much on walk-a-bout on the beaches of Australia after wandering around the world. Other stories seem to portray him in a similar light as a guy disillusioned by the fame and fortune brought on by his natural athletic gifts, and just looking for the meaning of life. Interestingly, this reminded me of another Texas alum who's been blindsided by the spotlight, Matthew McConaughey. He's also known for these odd trips to exotic locales and even stranger behavior. Lucky for him, weed is pretty prevalent and cool amongst the Hollywood crowd (at least, that's what I've deduced from watching reruns of Entourage on the internet).

Anywho, other than the marijuana, he hasn't really hurt anyone. He hasn't shot anyone, raped anyone, killed anyone. Well, I guess he hasn't killed anyone intentionally. This excerpt from the Esquire article was amusing:

...and for Samoa, where he saw some boys playing with a ball on the beach, and because Ricky is led by instinct, he took the ball and began running with it until a 110-pound kid stood in front of him, and because Ricky is led by instinct, laid the kid out.

Hate to have been that kid.

The Coming Teenage Apocalypse... Apperently

Now I'm not this first to stumble across this ACTUAL!!! movie trailer. And I'm not the first, nor I can assure you with every fiber of my soul, will I be the last to point out what kind of sensationalistic crap in the name of furthering political careers this is. It actually made me ill seeing this. And, as I have blogged on this wonderful free speech site on this very subject before, I thought I would share it. I won't even go into the different games they chose to identify as violence causing... but I will point out that City Of Heroes, Scooty and my's entertainment of choice, whose very essence is to uphold good, justice, and ARREST not kill, criminals, is prominently featured as one of the violent digitized brainwashing timebombs that will assuredly create a thousand new Columbines. I live near Columbine. I have had Columbine survivors work for me. I can say unequivocally there is not a single Columbine survivor who blame the video games the two teenage gunmen played. All the survivors I've spoken to blame the parents who never noticed thier sons had flags of the swastika hanging over their beds, or that their sons spent lazy afternoons building pipebombs in the garage. The same garage the parents parked in. Daily.
I won't even go into the real nausea I felt when they blame the video game industry for 9/11. I don't like to talk about 9/11. There are two things I know for sure about 9/11, the rest I won't even pretend to understand. But those two things I do know: The videogame industry had NOTHING to do with 9/11, and Iraq had NOTHING to do with 9/11.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go take a shower after watching this. And possibly write a letter or two to some politicians.

Alternatives to water...

For 2007, I've been trying to decrease my alcohol consumption and drink more water (now successful for a whole four days), although I keep coming across new articles like this one from New York magazine rating a number of lesser known ales that sound mighty tasty. Sadly, Wankmaster Scratch will be disappointed to read that his beloved PBR got the big thumbs down. Don't feel bad, though, because the Saison Dupont that I seem to recall you and your lady raving about was well received. Unfortunately, I have been unable to locate a bottle in my neck of the woods. :-(

Nice...

Vince Young is the new AP Offensive Rookie of the Year!

NEW YORK (AP) -- Tennessee quarterback Vince Young won The Associated Press Offensive Rookie of the Year Award and Houston linebacker DeMeco Ryans was named the Defensive Rookie of the Year Award on Wednesday.

Young did it in the same fashion he turned around the Titans' season -- running away from the rest of the field.

Young, who led Texas to the 2005 national championship and was the third overall pick in last April's draft, overwhelmed one of the strongest rookie classes in NFL history. He received 23 votes from a nationwide panel of 50 sports writers and broadcasters who cover the league.

(More...)

Pretty darn impressive considering the caliber of rookies he was up against. I think it's time for him to break out that personalized logo to the masses.

Love hurts...

Fairy tales about love at first sight, falling in love, and living happily ever after make for a good romantic story, but never tell the whole truth. We all have our faults which are well hidden in the passions of budding love and in our hopes of who the other is and what they'll become. To most of us, genuine romance is only found after enduring a lot of pain, forgiveness, and acceptance. The Painted Veil, a new film based on a novel by W. Somerset Maugham, develops this less than idealistic view of love using the relationship of Walter and Kitty Fane as they struggle to find love and forgiveness in a marriage that probably shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Walter (Edward Norton), an English bacteriologist posted in Shanghai who is used to understanding things from observation rather than interaction, falls in love with Kitty from afar during a trip back to London. Kitty, being immature and naive, accepts a hasty marriage proposal to escape from her mother and societal pressure of being a single woman during that time, and is subsequently whisked away to Shanghai. Walter's inability to show his affections combined with his ignorance of what real intimacy is leads Kitty to embark in an affair that she mistakes for true love. Instead, she is heartbroken, and is forced to join Walter in rural China where he volunteers to help fight a deadly epidemic of cholera. It is in this backdrop of poverty, death, and disease where the heart of this film takes place, as Walter and Kitty mature and grow to genuinely love each other. We also learn a bit about China in the 1920's along the way, and get some glimpses into the conflicts between the rural peasant class and ruling government that seem to still exist today.

Naomi Watts puts in a solid performance that surprisingly hasn't generated much media buzz so far. Even more remarkable, though, is the lack of recognition for Edward Norton who also gives a very subtle but incredibly effective performance as Walter. It's certainly not an obvious role to garner awards praise (i.e. he doesn't play someone mentally challenged or do a lot of screaming, crying, etc.), but you always seem to get a sense of the brewing dissatisfaction and resentment in him throughout the film that's wholly understandable and believable. Diana Rigg makes an appearance as a nun working in the Chinese village, who is completely unrecognizable from her former days as a Bond girl. The cinematography is also top notch, and I didn't really appreciate what a challenge it must have been to get permission to film an American-produced movie entirely in China until I left the theater.

This isn't your typical sappy "chick-flick" period piece kind of romance drama. Word is that Ed Norton struggled for years to get this picture made. Unfortunately, if the Golden Globes are any indication, this movie won't be decorated with any trophies to reward his effort. It's kind of a shame--this is a good film that many people will probably overlook because of it's lack of Oscar buzz. Don't miss out.

**** (out of *****)

Evil In The Name Of Good

It came to my attention that a certain Star Wars fan who blogs here was unaware of who exactly the 501st Legion are. They are not only the worlds largest costuming orginization, but they have also won many awards for their charity and civic duty work. They are the Stormtroopers you see outside Star Wars premiers, and they are also the same Stormtroopers who visit the Childrens Hospital here in Denver, and around the world, once a month. Denver hosts one of the largest chapters in the world actually, and that includes the chapters that represent entire countries like Germany and England. I see them literally all the time, and drive home next to a member with an Imperial symbol covering the back window of his Corvette and a 501st bumpersticker almost everyday. I took for granted that everyone knows who they are. In fact, the picture to the right is of a friend of mine in the 501st Mountain Legion. The entire 501st is an amazing organization, and it grows exponentially yearly. Why am I not already a member? I'm a lazy, lazy man.

I think Dyson should make a commemorative Oklahoma Sooners vacuum model...

Ah, those Sooners. They never lose suction. I actually stopped watching the Fiesta Bowl after Paul Thompson's third interception throw. Apparently, I missed one heck of a crazy finish that I'm only now piecing together with highlights from ESPN Sportcenter and the internet. Not one, not two, but THREE trick plays that worked to perfection? Insanity...



Considering I actually thought Oklahoma deserved that slot against Ohio State in the BCS title game next week, I've gotta argue that Boise State deserves at least to share the National Championship this year. It only seems fitting to end their Cinderella story with a title, new BCS rules be damned.

Yes, all Boise State's Houdini acts of trickery and illusion kind of overshadowed the accomplishments of our beloved Horns this weekend. I kind of feel guilty for giving up on Texas, thinking that a loss to Iowa in the Alamo Bowl was inevitable. Glad I was wrong. What a relief to see that Colt McCoy still has the skills. I was afraid they were putting him back in too early. But 308 yards passing and two touchdowns? Who can argue with that? Not a bad days work for a redshirt freshman. I can only speculate that all the adjustments they needed to develop Colt McCoy are what threw off the running game this entire season. Hopefully, now that they know what this kid can do, they'll fix what's broke and really make this a lethal offense in the next year.

And finally, is it just me, or did anyone think of Scootypuff's Photoshop-ed (or I guess MS Paint-ed) picture of Wild Willie's baby girl with the speech balloon saying "BOOTY, BOOTY, BOOTY!" every time the name of USC's QB John David Booty came up during the Rose Bowl?

StormTroopers On Parade

Just a reminder to the Star Wars fans who post here (I know, it's all of us!) George Lucas is the Grand Marshall of the Tournament of Roses Parade on television tomorrow, and the parade is completely Star Wars themed. There will also be over 200 hundred Stormtroopers from the 501st Legion marching as well as stars of the films riding on floats, Star Wars themed floats, and the man himself... Who most likely will be wearing flannel. But Hey, when you control the hearts and minds of millions of slaves around world, you can look anyway you want to. Just ask Bill Gates.

Say Cool Whip...

New Year's Resolution #1 - Play Nintendo for 30 minutes/day?

David Pogue from The New York Times posted a short blog entry about the potential of using the Nintendo Wii to help children get more exercise. He even mentions a new blog about a guy who will be monitoring his weight and other fitness measures over a six week period as he plays the Wii for 30 minutes a day.

Seems kind of ironic that the gaming console maker that was responsible for keeping kids indoors and glued to their TV sets all day could now be an answer to making video games part of a daily exercise routine.

Hmmm. Since my wife's comments about my Buddha belly are coming around more frequently, and I'm feeling my man-boobs jiggle more and more each day, perhaps I can justify getting one of these. That, or I could actually use that gym membership I keep paying for each month. ;-)

The things I take for granted...

In this modern age of wireless communication and satellite technology, I just assumed that transoceanic telecommunication cables stretching across the great expanses between countries and continents was obsolete. Then came this earthquake a couple of days ago off the southern coast of Taiwan that reminded me this seemingly simple system is still hugely important. I was even more surprised that such a natural event, which wasn't too catastrophic to land-based structures, could cripple the telephone systems of such a technologically advanced country.

It still amazes me that a trip to Taiwan that took me almost two days to complete takes my voice over a simple telephone wire less time than a snap of the fingers to reach the other side of the world.

And looking at the map above, its pretty astounding that such networks exist. It's times like these that I envy Scratch a bit for his close proximity to the museums in D.C.--apparently, there's a whole exhibit at the Smithsonian devoted to the underwater cable system. That's just cool that one could have some fleeting interest in a historical achievement such as this, and be able to walk over to the Smithsonian to learn about it instead of having to resort to Wikipedia or some other online information source. I need to move...

P.S. I assume my wife's family in Kaohsiung on the southern coast of Taiwan are OK--she hasn't been able to complete a call to them for obvious reasons.

I Wander as I Wonder...

which is why I often find myself in a room, but can't remember why I went in there. It's also why I often need to make a special effort to focus on where I am going if I'm driving somewhere other than my usual destinations, lest I drive all the way to work on a Saturday when I just meant to go to the post office.

And since I'm here now, happy holidays. Love you guys.

I Wonder As I Wander...

Allow me to express first my most fond wishes for you and yours to have a wonderful holiday. If you're reading this, you are someone I care about (even the kith and kin of the normal posters who find themselves reading this, you are by proxy and 'relation' a 'Whom' I wish only the best for). Now let me in on my past week of holiday misadventures. As was rumoured on every news source known to modern man, we did indeed recieve the 'Storm of the Century' Wednesday night here, and I was trapped, literally could not leave, work for 31 hours. Oh the joy. And to complete the picture, I want you to understand I was completely and utterly alone, having volunteered to stay behind and keep vital systems operating. Vital like keeping water running through pipes to avoid freeze-and-breaks and neo-vital, like keeping IT systems running and monitoring core temperatures and other vaguely sci-fi like missions. I stepped forth past the line in the sand and volunteered with the understanding that after 16 hours (of which 5 had already passed) I would be releived by one of my crew who has a truck that is not only 4x4, but upwards of 16 feet off the ground. A SnowCat would be the only other preferable mode of transpo under such circumstances. It was all going to be a peice of cake. But, as all who have had the best intentions lit on fire under them as they rode said intentions to safety and into sunsets know... That pig will not fly. A long 16 hours into my seclusion, not only could I not get out of the building, but my savior in his mighty metal steed could not get out of his own driveway. So, nearly double that time later, and a special request costing I dare not guess how much, an entire crew of tractors and shovelers were hired to not only get me out of my impassable fortress, but dig out my car and create a path to the main roads just for me to pass. Now that I'm not 31 hours into a sleepless fever dream I question the decision that was made by authority's much, much higher up my totem pole to enact such a drastic and expensive calling for a cause such as me. But, at the time I was slowly driving away it all made sense in an opiate like way.
Now, rested, recouped, and ready for this very favorite holiday of mine, I take some time to offer my thoughts. I have discovered that on the Boomerang Network today, they offer up all the "Classic" Christmas cartoons. "Classic" as in the cartoons we watched when we were kids. And though quality is hit-or-miss, it's still a blast watching. I'm sure that "A Flinstone Christmas Carol" is likely the yardstick all other Dickens ripoff cartoons measure themselves against. A true "Classic". And I like to think when I was young, I was savvy enough to see "'Tis The Season To Be Smurfy" as the drivel it is. But most likely, NBC was able to spoonfeed that crap to me. If it was brightly colered and animated then I would devour it with mine eyes like a pig at a trough of the finest swill. I hold no illusions about myself... Once I learned it is neither the 1950's, nor am I Dean Martin, no matter how much I wish it were so, that is.
So tomorrow morning, my beautiful wife Tellulah and I will open gifts, and as has become the tradition for us, we will have "24 Hours of A Christmas Story on TBS" on (for literally all 24 hours, how this particular tradition came to pass I neither know, nor care to change it). And as always, I will have bought her at least one political humour book by the likes of Al Franken, PJ O'Rourke, or Bill Maher, and one serious politcal study by people I care not to know with degrees in things I could NOT care less about. And as is tradition, Tellulah will have gotten me at least one something Star Wars, and at least one something that you place into a video game system and allows you to shoot such "evilies" as Nazis or Imperial Stormtroopers (maybe this year I'll get a game that lets me shoot both!). And we will say it was the best Christmas ever as we gaze on our tree. And then we will make the rounds to the various parties and dinners we are invited to every year, where I will act as much like Dean Martin as I possibly can, and Tellulah will let me. And next year, we'll do it all again, saying it was the best Christmas ever.
Now I must go and finish wrapping Tellulah's presents. I found a brightly colored, almost animated like, wrapping paper with sayings like "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" and other festive one liners, that I need to figure out how to cut and fold so that all the gaily cheerful sayings are making vaguely suggestive remarks.

Merry Christmas. Love you all.

This one's for Scootypuff Jr...

The grammar police will be pleased to know that the federal government has posted this guide to improving your writing skills.

May all your language crimes and misdemeanors end now.

How cool is that?

I was tempted to buy this ornament, but then remembered that I don't have a tree to hang it on. Anywho, hope y'all have a Merry Christmas and a Rockin' New Year!

Kill the waaabbit...

Here at The Life and Times of Chester Cheetah and the Kool-Aid Gang, we always strive to find more ways for you to procrastinate and waste your time. Well, this should keep you filled with endless hours of mind-numbing fun--the 50 greatest cartoons of all time as voted on by animators in 1994, with links to each collected on one convenient site!

And here I thought the whole Rosie O'Donnell ching-chong thing was blown out of proportion...

Seeing as it's that time of year for Top 10 lists, I give you the Top 10 Politically Correct Words of 2006. My favorites?

# 3, using herstory for history. This is funny when you think that the origin of the word history has absolutely nothing to do with gender. And it's even more humorous that the father of history was Herodotus.

#6 and the guy who thought to order "black coffee" was racist. Perhaps we should remove the word black from our lexicon completely, and instead use the phrase "absence of color."

#7, which asks to refer to us as Asian, not Oriental. Actually, I'm surprised this is just now getting on the 2006 list. My wife harps about this all the time, as she likes to say that she's a person, not a rug. Of course, this doesn't take into account that Asia has people of diverse appearance such as those from India or the Middle East that differ from the stereotypical Asians from the eastern side of the continent. And many older Asians in this country still refer to themselves as Oriental--they're so insensitive.

My Return to the Soapbox

Sometimes it takes my rationale a while to figure out what my intuition already knows. This is a good and necessary thing, as it's hard to make an argument on a hunch.

What I've suspected for quite some time, but couldn't articulate why, is that large corporations are harmful to humanity as a whole. Maybe not all of them, but the standard business model for the large corporation, what most corporations strive for, is. Let me digress to explain what I mean

To find the center of power in a civilization for a given time period, one only needs to find the biggest and most grandiose buildings of that time period. Two thousand years ago, the state of Rome built the largest, most impressive structures - the Coliseum, the Parthenon, the bath houses. The center of power in the Western civilized world two thousand years ago was the state.

One thousand years ago, the center of power in the Western civilized world was again centered in Rome, but this time it belonged to the Catholic Church. If one traveled to any European city, the largest, most resplendent buildings were those built by Catholicism. One thousand years ago, the center of power in the Western civilized world belonged to the Church.

Today, the center of power not just for the Western world, but all of civilization, belongs to the corporation. Travel to any modern city and the largest, most magnificent building will be that of a bank or a credit card company.

Both the state and the church sought to obtain and retain their power, but they also had an understanding to serve the people. Though not always practiced, it was at least expected. The state and the church had a purpose to exist outside of themselves. They had a purpose for the people they served. The modern model of the corporation has one purpose and one purpose only: to make money. To hoard resources. To gain power. The fact that they provide goods and services to people is a side effect of their quest for more wealth. In fact, many of the goods and services they provide are so unnecessary that they must spend vast amounts of money to convince the people that these baubles are really needed. This is called marketing, or as a sage person put it: "... the science of temporarily displacing you of your intelligence, just long enough to get money out of you."

This is no secret. It is expected behavior of the corporation. It is encouraged. It is celebrated. It saddens me.

I know that this sounds like liberal hippie drivel, but I'm starting to understand that it is the truth, and maybe the people I thought were morons were wiser than me. (Or more likely, the people that they were parroting were wiser than me.) Big Business runs the world. Big business rules humanity. And Big Business more often than not has no concern other than making themselves richer. Hoarding more resources. They cannot live simpler, even while so many struggle to simply live. And I'm not typing about all the poor kids in America whose families can't afford a Wii for Christmas, or can't send their kids to college. I'm typing about the places in the world where people don't even have access to clean water.

But, to get back on track, with Big Business in charge - and this is worldwide, mind you - the other 99% will suffer, as Big Business, the corporation, is beholden only to themselves. They openly admit that they only exist to further themselves. How then can anyone expect Big Business to provide for things such as justice? How can we have justice if we are ruled by those who care nothing for it? How can we have justice if we are ruled by those who are themselves so unjust?

The only answer that I can think of is that people, not corporations or conglomerates, must be in charge. People who care about other people. People who can empathize. People who have awakened to the fact, as Wild Willie put it, that everyone has value.

I guess that settles it. Vote Wild Willie for President in 2008.

Turkmenbashi kicks off.

Holy smokes! I knew that he was ill, but I don't know if anyone knew that he was near death. Who am I typing about? Why Saparmurat Niyazov, of course, the recently deceased former head of the communist party in Turkmenistan turned cult of personality dictator. Check it out here. First Pinochette croaks (although his rule ended long ago, and Spain and others who wanted to bring him to trial for his crimes against humanity have lost their opportunities. But hey, dead is dead.), now Niyazov, and Castro is on the ropes. That's most of them, except Kim Jong Il appears heathly (well physically, at least.)

I think he just insulted truck drivers and fat people...

I don't know if any of you have been keeping up with the recent news about Tara Conner, this year's Miss USA, who almost lost her crown after she allegedly was caught getting drunk in NYC bars (she's only 20), snorting cocaine, and making out with Miss Teen USA.

After Donald Trump (who owns the pageant) gave her a second chance to clean up, Rosie O'Donnell used the opportunity to rip into him on The View. Well, I guess The Donald isn't one to let Rosie off that easy, and gave her a piece of his mind in a way that only the filthy rich can get away with. But, I can't say I feel bad for Rosie right now, after that half-assed apology she gave to the Asian community after her ching-chong comments earlier in the month.

More than meets the eye?

The new trailer for Transformers is up. It looks decent so far, but for some reason I'm not all that jazzed yet. The actual Transformers just don't do it for me, and it seems blasphemous that Bumblebee is some souped up bitchin' Camaro instead of a VW Bug.



And maybe it's because it stars Josh Duhamel, star of that crappy NBC show Las Vegas and former international male model who beat out Ashton Kutcher awhile back in a Zoolander Derek versus Hansel type showdown. I'm hoping he doesn't flash "Blue Steel" during the movie.

JT Overload

I think I told you guys about this song I heard on a Pop Candy podcast awhile back by James Kochalka Superstar, but couldn't find a link strictly for the tune itself. Considering I've still singing Justin Timberlake's latest song from his SNL short, I thought I'd give you a link to the Rolling Stone #90 song of 2006 to get yet another thing stuck in your brain--a three minute chorus from "Britney's Silver Can".

Take a bow, guys...

Yes, I know there's a bunch of people on MySpace, FaceBook, Second Life, and YouTube, not to mention the millions of bloggers on the internet. But, I'd like to think the contributions of The Life and Times of Chester Cheetah and the Kool-Aid Gang managed to put us over the top in this year's Time magazine Person of the Year contest to beat out the likes of Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iraq insurgents, the YouTube guys, Chuck Norris...

Funny that the online commercial I had to watch to get to the Time Person of the Year article was from Chrysler with the ad line "You may not be the Person of the Year, but you can drive like one." I'm sure the Daimler-Chrysler ad agency is feeling a bit stupid now.

If you're still trying to figure out what to get your lady this Christmas...

I think the only thing that makes me laugh watching Saturday Night Live these days are the SNL Digital Shorts, like the latest one this past weekend with Justin Timberlake. I think the censored version on TV worked a little better:

That's gotta be embarrassing...

The things people do for their country and personal glory:

Indian runner fails gender test, loses medal
Associated Press

NEW DELHI, India -- An Indian runner who won a silver medal in the women's 800 meters at the Asian Games failed a gender test and was stripped of the medal.

Santhi Soudarajan was tested after the race this month in Doha, Qatar.

The test reports sent to the Indian Olympic Association on Sunday said Soudarajan "does not possess the sexual characteristics of a woman," The Times of India reported. The test was administered by a medical commission set up by the games' organizers.

The TV drought till January is starting! What will I do?

No Lost. No 24. No Heroes. No Nip/Tuck. And now, no BSG till next month? Maybe I can finally catch up on some sleep!

Hey, Scootypuff. Are you caught up on Battlestar Galactica yet? Tonight was the midseason cliffhanger until January 21, but they advertised a BSG marathon on January 15 to get up to speed before then (although with annoying viewer comments to be broadcast simultaneously as well).

A little too much sappy love triangle (or I guess this is more of a square) Dawson's Creek/The OC kind of romance going on for my taste, but otherwise an awesome episode. I think they even resorted to some All-American Rejects song during the previews for the next episode that they used on Smallville the other day. Hopefully, some cameo appearance by some up and coming band or a new Cylon model played by Mischa Barton isn't in the works.

I guess I shouldn't comment too much about the show until I'm sure Scootypuff is caught up, but am I making too much of this, or is anyone else a bit puzzled as to why they're mixing up their Greek and Roman deity nomenclature? Shouldn't it be the Eye of Zeus? And I'm hoping for a Sharon vs. Boomer catfight next season. CATFIGHT! WOOHOO!

Anywho, Wander promised his own theory a long time ago as to how this whole human/Cylon relationship fits together, but never provided the goods. Is this all shaping up as you had thought?

I can't imagine what she would have done if he forgot to come home with carton of milk she asked for...

I'm not sure if she was mad about the beer being warm or it being Stag Beer. From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

ST. LOUIS: Warm beer led to killing, police say

A St. Louis man was shot to death Sunday night over a warm beer, police said.

St. Louis police say a woman shot her husband, who was about 70 years old, four to five times in the chest after he tried giving her a warm can of Stag beer.

Police said the wife admitted shooting him about 5:40 p.m. in the kitchen of their home in the 5100 block of Terry Avenue. Police said the home had no electricity at the time.

Homicide detectives would not identify the man. The woman, whom police also did not identify, was taken into custody.

Obviously, there was more to the story.

I know I said no pornography on this blog...

...but I couldn't resist. The Speed Channel used to air reruns of a couple of automobile shows from the UK called Fifth Gear and Top Gear that were always pretty fun to watch, and were nothing like the yawners here in the States. So I was pretty giddy when I found these videos from an episode of Top Gear highlighting the Lotus Exige, the hardtop souped-up version of the Elise. If I were less classy, I'd insert some vulgar comments about sexual climax about now. Instead, I will just say, I really enjoyed these. It corners like it's on rails! Take a peek:


Exige Lotus - video powered by Metacafe


Top Gear Exige & Stig - video powered by Metacafe

And if you're looking for something with a bit more polish, here's a video of the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder, which isn't too shabby either:


Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder - video powered by Metacafe

I guess pigs aren't flying yet but dogs are...

I had no idea a live-action Underdog movie was in the works. I might give this one a bit of latitude since it's got Jason Lee , Amy Adams, and Peter Dinklage attached to it.

I'm not sure why they're resorting to dogs with capes that can fly. Normal dogs that don't have super-dog powers were entertaining enough. C'mon. Turner and Hooch, Beethoven--oh yeah, all those kind of sucked.

Why do I do this to myself?

Instead of watching the Hoff as Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. on the Fox Movie Channel right now, I should probably flip the channel and watch the evening news or something.

I'm not sure which is more damaging to one's acting career--being in a porno or being cast in a movie with David Hasselhoff.

Next Gang reunion? Tunisia!

Apparently, Tatooine still exists. The production crew from Star Wars built the set so well, it remains intact in the Tunisian desert. Well, minus the second setting sun.

The coolest part about this area, though, sounds like the native troglodytes (or cave people) that dig vertically into the ground and build homes. Sidi Driss is the only hotel in the area, which happens to be an authentic troglodyte house, and also served as the home of Uncle Ben and Aunt Beru in the movie.

If I were a rich man, this would be my Christmas gift to Scratch...

I know the drink of choice lately for Wankmaster Scratch has been a cold can or two (or 20) of PBR, but nothing quite tastes as good as beer from a keg. And you don't have to deal with trash cans, pumps, or reloading the ice. Perfection.

It ain't easy being cheesy...

Chester Cheetah made a cameo on Family Guy? Man, I need to watch that show more often!

Please use your powers for good...

A lot has been said in the press about second-guessing the 2006 NFL draft, but nothing seems to exemplify blunders like the Houston Texans pick of Mario Williams with their number one pick. As they continue their struggle to develop David Carr into a marquee quarterback in his fifth year in the NFL, Vince Young and Matt Leinart are flourishing. As rookies!

Even more amazing about VY to me is the fact that he's this good, and he's still supposed to be in college. Adding to that, his teammates actually rally around this guy. Remember--he's a rookie!

Enjoy reliving his game-winning moves in his hometown of Houston last week. He makes this look like a video game:



And here's another video that's been making the rounds as an answer to VY's critics (or lone critic, it seems):

God will still be able to watch them play...

Scootypuff was telling me about his observation that you can tell who the holders of power are in a given society simply by looking to who has built the prevailing architectural spectacles of the time. Well, with that logic, it looks like the business of sports is mighty powerful.

Jerry Jones unveiled the details of the new stadium for "America's Team" last night. With a capacity up to 100,000 and a cost of $1 billion, the new home of the Dallas Cowboys sure lives up to the team's Texas-sized reputation. Two retractable roof panels, weighing 2.1 million pounds each, will allow the top of the stadium to be partially closed. Partially, because it will retain the distinctive hole in the roof. Hanging above midfield will be a 600 ton video screen that's 60 yards long. Check out the rest of the Dallas Morning News interactive tour here.

But after reading about all this, what is my only complaint? They're using synthetic turf. Bummer.

Survival of the fittest at work, and the evolution of superlions...

I stumbled upon this article about an upcoming National Geographic Channel special called "Relentless Enemies" which follows a population of "super" lions that have made dramatic adaptations to their environment after they became stranded on an isolated island in Africa with herds of water buffalo as their only source of food.

Give the preview a read, then set your TiVo's/DVR's for Friday, December 22 at 8:00 PM Central Time. This sounds really cool!

Actually, it's more like "Deeeeeeeeeeeeeewd!"

And I was holding out hope that the next Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film adaptation might be good. Unfortunately, the So-Cal surfer accents, the peppering of dialogue with "DOOOOOOOOD" after every sentence, and an obsession with pizza seemed to have been preserved from the old cartoon series, based on the latest trailer. Oh well. At least the animation still looks good.

I am not Tiger Woods...

Tiger Woods signed yet another endorsement deal with Nike which likely involves an obscene amount of money, considering his last deal was reportedly in the realm of $100 million for five years.

I think if I was Tiger Woods, I would have retired long ago, and lived off my prior endorsement money. I'd eat a lot, sleep a lot, drink a lot of beer, watch a lot of TV, play a lot of video games, gain a lot of weight. Well, then again, with that attitude, I wouldn't be Tiger Woods. Darn!

Sure beats another boring jar of Prego...

I can't say I'm really that into many of the celebrity chefs on the Food Network. Wolfgang Puck has always seemed a bit too Hollywood, and I can't stand guys that have to sign off their shows with some stupid phrase. Emeril scares me out of my seat everytime he yells out, "BAM!" Tyler Florence is just a wee bit too much of a pretty boy, and really ruined his reputation after starting his own menu at that poor excuse for American cuisine, Applebee's. Bobby Flay makes some good food, but always looks smug on his show. And Mario Batali? Crocs. Really bright orange Crocs. End of story.

I've always enjoyed watching Jamie Oliver (formerly known as The Naked Chef), though, who always comes off as being a hip dude without coming off as fake or trying too hard. His old shows were fun, and his recipes are typically easy enough for a novice like me to have some amount of success at making. Oh yeah, and they're pretty tasty to boot. Add to that, he seems to be a stand up guy with his efforts to help out disadvantaged youths with his Fifteen project, and his crusade to make school lunches healthy (and a bit more edible).

Anywho, I've been using this recipe for spaghetti bolognaise out of one of his books on my shelf, and have prepared it a couple of times over the past week. With the power of Google, I found it posted on some random person's blog, too. Good eats, men. Good eats.

Kinda Spaghetti Bolognaise
Jamie Oliver: Happy Days with the Naked Chef

"As far as I know, no decent Italian cook has any real recollection of what we know as Spaghetti Bolognaise. However, every region in Italy makes its own Ragu Sauce which very often features leftover stewed meats and game. For a great bolognaise it is worth whizzing up some chopped chuck steak to make your own minced meat. Here's my version." Serves 4.

10 slices Pancetta or smoked streaky bacon rashers, sliced
1 handful of rosemary, leaves picked and roughly chopped
olive oil
1 large onion, finely chopped
3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
455gr/1 lb chuck steak, minced, or best minced beef
1 wineglass of red wine
1 level teaspoon dried oregano
1x 400gr/14oz tin of tomatoes
1 x 200gr/7oz tube tomato puree, or 1 small jar of sun-dried tomatoes, finely chopped
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
455gr/1 lb dried spaghetti
1 handful of fresh basil
2 handfuls of grated Parmesan or strong Cheddar cheese

Pre-heat oven to 180C/350F/gas4.

In a large hot pan that can go in the oven, fry the pancetta and rosemary in a little olive oil until lightly golden. Then add the onion and garlic and fry for a further 3 minutes until softened before adding the minced beef. Stir and continue frying for 2 or 3 minutes before adding the wine. Reduce slightly, then add the oregano, all the tomatoes and the tomato puree. Season well to taste, bring to the boil, cover with greaseproof paper or a lid and place in the pre-heated oven for an hour and a half. Towards the end of the cooking time put your spaghetti into a large pot of fast boiling salted water until al dente (check the packet for cooking time. When it's ready, drain it in a colander.

Just before serving, add some ripped-up basil to the sauce. Serve with your spaghetti and some grated Parmesan or strong Cheddar. A green salad is also nice with this.

I can just imagine Wild Willie's frugal brain saying, "What the f*@#?"

When I was trying to decide on where to go for college during my senior of high school, I had reached a point where I had wittled down my stack of acceptance letters to two--The University of Texas at Austin and Washington University in St. Louis. It was a difficult decision for me. I even resorted to picking names out of a hat during physics class once, as I recall. After really sitting down and discussing the issues with my dad in depth, we finally decided UT would be the best option. And it really had nothing to do with academics, per se, or the fact that three of my good friends were becoming Longhorns. It was all about money. Being a public institution, the tuition at UT was seven times less than what I would have had to pay at Wash U. I didn't want to bankrupt my dad trying to put me through college, and I didn't want to be saddled with that much debt either. I eventually only lasted two years at The University before the sheer size and chaos of the place compelled me to transfer out to a private school, but at least I got a bargain of an education for at least half of my undergraduate career.

I thought back to those days as I was reading this article in The New York Times about the rising costs of college tuition. Now we're all aware of the skyrocketing cost of obtaining a college degree, with the rise of tuition far outpacing the rate of inflation. But apparently, the perception that "what costs more must be better" has spilled into the realm of academia. Colleges are basing their tuition charges to match those of institutions they feel are on par with them. Places like the University of Notre Dame have increased their tuition rates to spruce up their academic image, instead of just being known for their football, working of the notion many prospective students perceive that if it costs as much as Harvard, it must be just as good.

This doesn't preclude students from attending these expensive universities, as financial aid has gone up, too. Unfortunately, as is typically the case in this free market economy, the middle class gets screwed. The poor become eligible for a large sum of aid, and the rich don't need financial assistance to begin with to pay for the hiked up costs. Much of the middle class, however, may earn just enough to make them ineligible for substantial financial aid, putting any dreams of attending their dream school out of reach.

No wonder our society has become so polarized.

A little holiday cheer...

A Charlie Brown Christmas as done by the cast of Scrubs? What's not to like?

This is more than a test

The other night I dreamt about Swany. I was sitting in his canary yellow corvette, and upon exiting the vehicle another car took the door off as I was opening it.

True Story

Sore loser?

If you recall back to the Summer Olympic Games of 1988 in Seoul, Korea, one of the biggest upsets was the defeat of Carl Lewis by Canada's Ben Johnson in the 100 meters running a time that shattered the standing world record. You also probably remember that the Canuck lost the title of "fastest man alive" and the gold medal after he tested positive for steroids. Carl Lewis, having finished second in that race, was awarded the gold medal, and Ben Johnson returned to Canada in shame. After serving a temporary ban from sports, he attempted a rather unsuccessful comeback to sprinting, and his career ended for good with a lifetime ban from track and field after he tested positive again a couple of years after returning to the sport.

This past week in an interview with the Melbourne Herald Sun, Johnson claims that his positive drug test was part of a set up orchestrated by Lewis involving a beer he drank with a family friend of the superstar American sprinter. Why he brings this up 18 years after the fact is a mystery to me. Regardless of whether his claims or true or not, he still admits to using drugs during the Olympic Games:

Number one, that day the drugs that they find in my system was not the drugs that I was using," he said.
Number two, Ben Johnson was sabotaged in Seoul. Somebody set me up.
I'm not denying at all that I was taking drugs but that's the drugs that I was using that they claiming.

Unless the guy can prove that Carl Lewis was using performance-enhancing drugs that day, I could care less whether or not he did have a hand in setting up Ben Johnson. What a bozo.

But I'm not allowed to use the n-word...

Just read a nice essay in the December issue of Esquire. Entitled "The Manifesto of Ascendancy for the Modern American Nigger," John Ridley reexamines the roles of Condoleeza Rice and Colin Powell to bring a resolution to the Hainan incident early in the presidency of George W. Bush, when an American surveillance plane made an emergency landing in China after colliding with a Chinese fighter jet. In contrast, riots in Cincinnatti occuring at the same time overshadowed the accomplishments of these two Black Americans who had been dismissed as "Uncle Toms," with much of the African-American community focusing on the fatal shooting of a black teenager by the police.

It's an interesting insight into what may be hindering African-Americans from seeing themselves as victims, and more as an ascendant group with no limit to the accomplishments they can achieve for themselves and the country as a whole. Doesn't hurt that the author, himself, is black.

Something you don't want to do is give a crackhead more crack...

One of the cool features of TiVo is a feature called TiVoToGo which lets you download any shows you have recorded on your TiVo box onto your laptop. Unfortunately, this only worked with Windows-based machines. That is, until now.

I think the only barrier I had from watching television 24 hours a day was the fact that I actually had to go to work, and couldn't justify bringing in a TV into the research lab. I now have free Battlestar Galactica on my iBook to watch at my desk.

This is the end of me.

Tastes like chicken...

A trip to the Asian grocery store--it's always an experience. Shelf after endless shelf of ramen noodle bricks. Snack foods made out of dried cuttlefish. Chinese vegetables. Stacks of tofu. Tanks full of fresh fish, lobsters, crabs, clams--if it's got gills and is edible, they probably sell it. And on special today for $4.50/pound? Frogs! Bon appetite!

A little exagerated, but only a little.

Found this on YouTube. It's my new favorite.

Someone, please teach this girl how to spell "adequate"...

I know it's wrong to make fun of people, no matter how dumb or self-important they are. But somehow, Lindsay Lohan just throws herself out there for ridicule. Recently, there were the reports that she joined an Alcoholics Anonymous group. Considering she's not even old enough to legally drink yet, that's either pretty sad that she would suffer from alcoholism at such a young age or a bit maddening that she would try and blame her party image on a serious disease she doesn't have.

Now there's this random email that's made the rounds supposedly written by Lohan as she had some grand epiphany on her Blackberry. I'm sure Scootypuff could have all kinds of fun with her grammar, although I guess she should be cut a bit of slack considering this was thumb-typed on a tiny cellphone while she was probably drunk and stoned. Here's just a taste:

The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said. I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see.

I'm guessing she picked up that Howard Hughes quote from Leonardo DiCaprio in The Aviator. I can't imagine she can actually read something as complicated as a biography. The sad fact, though, is that quite a number of girls and women actually do look up to her. The sadder fact is that she probably has friends that got this email, and found it enlightening. The even sadder fact is her delusional idea that she knows "how our society should be educated."

Aw, crap!

Depending on when you're viewing this blog, you might notice the format is waaaaaaaaay different. I just converted "The Life and Times" to Blogger beta, which allows us to add categories to posts, and makes it a bit easier to change the template around. Unfortunately, this conversion was completely incompatible with my old source HTML for the template, meaning I'll need to figure out how to get the old look to play nice with this new version of Blogger.

Hopefully, I'll get this sorted out soon, and everything you've come to love (including your daily Chuck Norris Facts) will return to normal. My only question to the Kool-Aid Gang is: Can you guys still post? Please try and post something, even if it's something that says test, so I'll know how catastrophic this upgrade was.

Thanks!

Don't know much about geology...

OK, I guess my last quiz was too easy for the Wild Willie. So easy, in fact, he thumbed his nose at me saying he didn't even have to check the answers. Geography snob. So here's another.

Who are the three top suppliers of oil to the United States? Answer is here (along with some other interesting facts about American supplies of fossil fuels).

A pedophile gets his due...

It's been awhile since I've stepped into a real live video store. We've been using Netflix for the past two years, but I guess since the DVDs seemed to be perched on top of the TV longer than they were ever in our DVD player, my wife finally canceled our account.

Anywho, I picked up this smaller movie that came out in the fall called Hard Candy. The movie's subject matter about a child predator and the teenager he picks up in a chat room online may discourage many of you from renting this, but this is quite a good, although very disturbing, psychological thriller. The film involves only two characters (including Ellen Page who was Kitty Pryde in X-Men 3), but manages to stay completely engrossing.

Despite the premise, there isn't any weird sexual scenes, nudity, or exploitation that would make you feel uncomfortable. It's really the whole psychological interplay between predator and prey that will make you squirm in your seat. I think to tell you more would ruin the film for you. Just give it a watch--it's good.

**** (out of *****)

Sacrifice

At some point in time, I subscribed to CNET gadget reviews on my TiVo, and managed to catch a random report by James Kim. So when I heard about the search for him in the Oregon wilderness a few days ago, I paid attention with some interest to the daily news updates. As most of you know, this whole ordeal ended with a miraculous rescue of his wife and two children, but ended in the death of James Kim himself as he made a valiant attempt to find rescue in the freezing temperatures and rugged terrain of the Pacific Northwest.

It's sad enough knowing he sacrificed his life trying to save his family. I think, though, it's even more tragic that he likely died thinking his family would freeze to death just as he eventually did, and that he wouldn't be with them in the final moments. Sadder still, is despite the 10 miles its thought he hiked, he was found only a mile from his car.

Reading about him, he seemed like a really decent, good guy. Writing gadget and electronics reviews for a living, running two trendy clothing stores with his wife, having what sounds like a wonderful family--he seemed to have a life we could all envy. But it all ended. Literally, just one wrong turn. Wow...

Don't know much about geography...

OK, quick. Name the northern-most, southern-most, western-most, and eastern-most states of the United States of America.

Answers are here.

Trip to Cape Town in 2010 anyone?

Here's some news that I just know Fandango can appreciate: Jurgen Klinsmann is reportedly on the verge of closing the deal to become the next head coach of the U.S. National Men's Soccer Team. I guess this isn't exactly unexpected news considering this has been in the rumour mill since even before the World Cup ended this year.

Considering the overachieving effort he masterminded with the German national team to get them to third place this past year in the World Cup, this bodes well for the Americans for the next four years leading up to the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Our team really needed an injection of fresh ideas, and the publicity of a high marquee name like Klinsmann sure helps to bring back some enthusiasm to soccer here in the States after the disappointing performance last summer. Obviously, the fifth place FIFA ranking going into the tournament was the product of some computer glitch or guys stoned on pot. But even so, watching our team play was almost painful to watch at times.

UPDATE: Aw, crap. The deal fell through. I guess we'll be looking forward to endless more years of American soccer mediocrity.

For Those Who Missed The Premier Last Night...

Here it is in all its glory. Fun for you, a major religious moment for me. Ahh... I love being me.

Nothing like the oldies to put me in a good mood...

I've been feeling a bit stressed out and depressed lately. I'll probably communicate my woes (which really aren't that bad in the grand scheme of things) in a private email to the Gang at some point. For now, I've sought out some soothing classic OMD tunes to keep me calm. Play some air synthesizer keyboards for me, Wander...

Now that's what I call flatulence...

NinjaDay2006

Advertising Gold

I'm sure all of you have heard a Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercial before. Given I'm normally listening to NPR or the college radio station here in St. Louis, I don't hear a lot of commercials when I'm driving to and from work. However, during my trip through Texas last Thanksgiving, I was laughing my head off when these ads came on, including one that may only air in the Lone Star State. Here's to you, Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy:

Men from lesser states may know their state's capital, but you? You know your state's bird, tree, and even reptile. Looove that horny toad.

Sure there are 49 other states in the Union. But they're smaller, wussier, and the people talk funny.

My all-time favorite, though? Mr. SPF 80 sunblock wearer:

There are 24 hours in a day. You're wearing 80 hour protection. If the sun fails to go down, you'll be ready. Don't forget the moonlight.

30 SPF? Please. You might as well be wearing cooking oil.

I know the film is titled Babel, but they shouldn't make it that hard to understand...

If anyone has seen Alejando Gonzalez Iñárritu's last two films, Amores Perros and 21 Grams, you could understand my anticipation to see his third film, Babel, about how seemingly unrelated events interact to create tragic consequences. Keep in mind I was suffering from a bit of indigestion while I watched this movie, which might have skewed my judgement.

Brad Pitt (Richard) and Cate Blanchett (Susan) get the star billing, although their story of an American married couple on vacation in Morocco trying to deal with what I think is the death of their child to SIDS, is only one part of four. The film actually begins with two child brothers in the rural Moroccan mountains whose father just purchased a gun to help them protect their goats from predatory jackals. In the midst of testing the range of their newly acquired weapon, Susan is accidently shot while traveling in a tour bus. The tragic accident has repercussions back in the United States, where Richard and Susan's children are in the care of an illegal Mexican immigrant, Amelia. Having no one to take care of them, Amelia must take the children with her across the border to attend her own son's wedding. Getting into Mexico is easy, but getting back to California poses unexpected challenges. Meanwhile in Japan, a teenage girl (Chieko) who is deaf and mute, struggles to cope with the world around her that doesn't seem to offer any emotional affection for her. Chieko's link to the other events in the film are eventually revealed towards the end of the film, although this doesn't really have any climactic plot importance other than to further show the ripple effect from the chaos theory events.

I really wanted to love this film. As is Iñárritu's style, the story is told in a very nonlinear way that somehow never gets the audience lost despite chronological jumps back and forth in time. The acting is very solid. Rinko Kikuchi, who plays Chieko, gives quite a heartwrenching performance which is always a challenge when one can't speak. I honestly can't name a bad job Cate Blanchett has ever done. Even Brad Pitt, in his limited screen time, wasn't half bad. And, like Iñárritu's previous films, the movie is beautifully shot.

The problem, though, is the film is just plain sloooooow. Again, perhaps I was just too focused on my gastroesophogeal reflux or maybe I just wasn't in the mood for subtitles, but it seemed like all kinds of literal time would pass with really nothing being told to move the story along. On top of that, I just didn't get what the real point was. What exactly was the central theme of this film? Chieko's story seems to be the emotional heart of the story, but I walked out of the theater still trying to wrap my head around how her struggles really related to the rest of the stories hers intertwined with. Some people came out of the theater crying--maybe I should have asked them.

Perhaps I'll need to give this one a second viewing when I'm feeling better. As good as his last two films were, I'd hate to dismiss this possible finale to his "trilogy" so quickly. Definitely put his other films on your Netflix queue, though. And if you get a chance to catch Babel in the theaters, maybe you can explain to me what I'm missing.

** (out of *****)

If only we had listened to Wild Willie and bought a Creative mp3 player...

Anyone catch The Simpsons a couple of weeks ago? I always laugh at good lactose intolerance humor (Homer, as the ice cream truck man: I will not put up with intolerance in this world!), but I also thought the end was funny given Wild Willie's warnings to the iPod lovers in this group...me included:

"If only we'd known that iPods would unite and overthrow the very humans they entertained."

(from Cult of Mac)

Highway Robbery

I knew I said I wasn't going to care where Texas was going this bowl season, but really, the Alamo Bowl?! What the f#@k?! The even worse part of it is, I have this horrible feeling that the Horns will lose given the dejected state the team is probably at right now. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Granted, they'd probably lose to Auburn if Texas was going to the Cotton Bowl where they should really be playing, but at least that's against a respectable team and not a 6-6 team like Iowa.

And no Ohio State versus Michigan rematch? That's just wrong.

Don't even get me started about Oklahoma. As much as I hate to say it, they probably should be in the National Championship game playing against the Buckeyes given that horrible instant replay call against Oregon that I think everyone knows was a mistake.

Oh well. I guess at least Wild Willie's pops can be happy.

Save us, toymakers, with some modicum of sense, you're our only hope...

While reading the latest X-Men comic book I picked up this week, I came across an ad for these Star Wars Transformers on the back inside cover. I like Star Wars and I like Transformers, but this just seems like a dumb idea for a cross-over toy. Then again, I'm not George Lucas, who's probably laughing his way all the way to the bank.