I asked the alethiometer if this was a good movie, and it told me, "Meh."

You'd think that anyone embarking on making an epic adaptation of a highly praised trilogy like Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials could simply go to the Steven Spielberg playbook of moviemaking to ensure success. Did Chris Weitz, director of The Golden Compass do that? Let's find out.

Rule 1: Find and tell a kid-friendly story that appeals to both young and old alike. Now I've never read the first part of this series that this film was based on, but it's purported to be on par with C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia. And the idea of a world where your soul takes the manifestation of an animal "daemon" who accompanies you wherever you go, where armored ice bears rule the far reaches of the Arctic north, and magical Dust holds the key to traveling between a myriad of parallel universes, I'd almost believe that this is true. Unfortunately, it almost seems like the rules of this world are a bit too complex to fully absorb in a two hour movie, at least that's how it felt watching this film. Trying to figure out the laws of this world kind of weighed down this film, even for a relatively intelligent adult like me. I wonder what a 10 year old would think. This is the first of a planned trilogy, though, so hopefully they got all the introductions out of the way to make room for some meaty stories in the future.

Spielberg Grade: Fail

Rule 2: Use a sassy child actor as your main character. Dakota Blue Richards takes the lead role as Lyra, a young orphan girl left in the care of the scholarly Jordan College. Unfortunately, I think she almost got upstaged by her transforming daemon. Still, I think she has enough charisma and presence to establish herself as a good lead for the film.
Spielberg Grade: Pass

Rule 3: Wow them with CGI animation. The CGI-animated daemons and armored bears are believable characters that actually keep up with the likes of Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig. Whether or not that's a result of the animators or good acting by the real people in the movie, I don't know, but it's impressive.
Spielberg Grade: Pass

Rule 4: Who needs characterization when you've got a musical score to manipulate the audience like a marionette? This is the problem I have with most blockbuster movies these days. No one seems to take much care in developing a worthy orchestral score anymore. I guess a lot of films have resorted to the trendy hipster soundtrack, but I think an original score still goes a long way. I'd venture to guess that Star Wars wouldn't be half the classic it is without John Williams' score. The Golden Compass is one of those films that begs for a theme song that pulls at your childlike emotions, yet I can't even begin to remember what music they had.
Spielberg Grade: Fail

I'm sure there's other rules, but this post is getting long, and I'm getting bored writing it. Basically, I thought this movie was OK and is entertaining, but didn't live up to its potential. The best things about it were the armored bears and a supporting character of Lee Scoresby, an aeronaut played by the handlebar-mustached iconic cowboy Sam Elliott. Kind of sad when you think of all the CGI and Oscar winning/nominated talent that was in this production. I'd like to see what they do with the next two movies, but based on how well this first one is doing, I'm not even sure they'll green-light the rest of the trilogy.

This Makes Me Happy But Not for the Right Reasons

Imagine if you were poised to receive a LARGE inheritance. Let's say that it is going to be in the multiple billion dollar range. You decide life is worth wasting on all sorts of frivolous things because you can afford it. But then BAM right across you face you are hit with the fact that your large inheritance is going to be given away to charity. You get stuck with only 3% (around 7 million dollars). That is nothing to sneeze at for the Kool-Aid Gang, but when you spend that amount in a year you might be a little upset.

If only they had a martini bar to complement their Genius Bar, the Apple Store would be perfect...

Apple stock has been on a steady climb all year, and finally surpassed the $200/share barrier yesterday. It isn't rocket science to understand why they're doing so well, but it is bewildering why no one else ever quite got the combination of easy usability, stylish ergonomics, cutting-edge technology, and friendly service right until Steve Jobs came along. Try throwing those words in for Microsoft or Dell--kind of hard to do. The success of the Apple Store epitomizes why this company remains profitable. Unlike most stores, Apple encourages you to relax and linger in their stores, whether you're going to buy something or not, as this story from The New York Times shows:

The policy has given some stores, especially those in urban neighborhoods, the feel of a community center. Two years ago, Isobella Jade was down on her luck, living on a friend’s couch and struggling to make it as a fashion model when she had the idea of writing a book about her experience as a short woman trying to break into the modeling business.

Unable to afford a computer, Ms. Jade, 25, began cadging time on a laptop at the Apple store in the SoHo section of Manhattan. Ms. Jade spent hours at a stretch standing in a discreet corner of the store, typing. Within a few months, she had written nearly 300 pages.

Not only did store employees not mind, but at closing time they often made certain to shut Ms. Jade’s computer down last, to give her a little extra time. A few months later, the store invited her to give an in-store reading from her manuscript.

“Everyone is free to use the Internet and do anything they want — within reason,” said Paul Fradin, the general manager of the SoHo and 14th Street stores. Visitors spotted surfing pornographic Web sites are quietly asked to leave, and are escorted out.

Visitors can bring almost anything they like. Ms. Jade showed up nearly every day with her full set of notes, and enough food to see her through a few hours of writing.

I went to the Sony Style store once, and kept getting stared down by a security guard. I can't imagine what would have happened if I had pulled out some food, let alone sat down for more than half an hour and made myself at home.

Insomnia is a terrible thing to waste...

A rare known fact: The director's cut of Way of the Dragon actually included this version of the famous showdown between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris before the director figured out that the choice language used wasn't for artistic purposes but because the musical supervisor had Tourette's.

Big NSFW warning for much profanity that had me laughing hysterically (of course, it's 2:00 AM and I'm feeling hysterical about now):


[from Best Week Ever]

On a side note, I'm always amazed in this fight sequence by how slow Chuck Norris, who I seem to think is a respectable martial artist, looks compared to Bruce Lee.

As if Jessica Simpson's career could get any worse...

I'm not sure who should be more embarrassed, the actors who are forever attached to this movie via the Internet Movie Database or the people not related to the Simpson family that will forever be plagued by the fact that they actually paid money to see this. From Cinematical:

[Blond Ambition] grossed a whopping $384 bucks on Friday, meaning the per screen average was $48.

You almost have to wonder if Papa Joe Simpson bought all those tickets himself and gave them away to unsuspecting, innocent teenagers roaming the theaters.

I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in my life...

The new teaser for Knight Rider is up.  Yawn.

Perhaps this is a sign that big cats with big teeth don't belong in cages...

You've all probably heard or read about the tiger that got loose in the San Francisco Zoo that left one person dead and two others severely injured. Kind of scary that they can't figure out how the animal got out of her enclosure in the first place:

Officials were at a loss to explain how Tatiana got out of the enclosure, which is surrounded by a 15ft (4.5m) wide moat and a 20ft (6m) high wall. The zoo's director of animal care and conservation, Robert Jenkins, said: "There was no way out through the door.

Teleporting tigers perhaps? I don't know, but I'll think twice about going to the zoo now. Then again, large amounts of Cheetos seem to pacify me. Maybe they should try a bag or two with these crazy cats.

Maybe if he was drinking less on the job, Porkins would have been the hero of the Rebels instead of Luke...

An astrokeg (yes, that's KEG) droid? You'd think there would be more of these in the Star Wars universe considering how depressed everyone must have been being under Imperial rule.

And I can't believe this Porkins Lego model built by Count Blockula actually looks like Porkins!

More homemade Star Wars-related Lego models at Gizmodo.

Latest revelation from reviewing visits from Sitemeter...

We're the first result when you Google the word "synechdochy?" Get outta here! To think Firecracker George has lifted our blog to haute academic levels. And all I can come up with is bad David Hasselhoff videos and stories about poop.

One last Christmas carol for your listening pleasure...

I'm headed out of town tomorrow, so in case I don't get the chance, Happy Holidays to the Kool-Aid Gang and anyone else bored enough to read this blog!



MERRY CHRISTMAS!

How much time did I waste waiting for tape to rewind?

I don't know about any of you, but I can't remember the last time I actually handled a video tape.  I think I detached my VCR from the TV long ago once we went to DVDs.  Watching the trailer for this upcoming movie, Be Kind Rewind, made me feel kind of nostalgic for the ol' VHS and reminded me of those poor quality movies we'd make for school projects:

Television--the end of democracy as we know it?

Here's a recent article in The New Yorker which discusses literacy and how it effects our ways of thinking. It's not shocking to know that the numbers of us who actually read a book is on the decline (and it's not just limited to the lazy American way of life--Europeans aren't reading either), but I found it interesting how the actual ability to read can even change how we perceive the world:

There’s no reason to think that reading and writing are about to become extinct, but some sociologists speculate that reading books for pleasure will one day be the province of a special “reading class,” much as it was before the arrival of mass literacy, in the second half of the nineteenth century. They warn that it probably won’t regain the prestige of exclusivity; it may just become “an increasingly arcane hobby.” Such a shift would change the texture of society. If one person decides to watch “The Sopranos” rather than to read Leonardo Sciascia’s novella “To Each His Own,” the culture goes on largely as before—both viewer and reader are entertaining themselves while learning something about the Mafia in the bargain. But if, over time, many people choose television over books, then a nation’s conversation with itself is likely to change. A reader learns about the world and imagines it differently from the way a viewer does; according to some experimental psychologists, a reader and a viewer even think differently. If the eclipse of reading continues, the alteration is likely to matter in ways that aren’t foreseeable.

This effect may go on to influence even our ability to "think out of the box" and be more tolerant to other viewpoints:

Self-doubt, therefore, becomes less likely. In fact, doubt of any kind is rarer. It is easy to notice inconsistencies in two written accounts placed side by side. With text, it is even easy to keep track of differing levels of authority behind different pieces of information. The trust that a reader grants to the New York Times, for example, may vary sentence by sentence. A comparison of two video reports, on the other hand, is cumbersome. Forced to choose between conflicting stories on television, the viewer falls back on hunches, or on what he believed before he started watching. Like the peasants studied by Luria, he thinks in terms of situations and story lines rather than abstractions.

Luckily, this blog may not induce as much decay to your brain. Then again, you do have to read all the stupid stuff I write. And based on this blurb below, perhaps Firecracker George would have gotten better grades if he just looked at more porn:

The Internet, happily, does not so far seem to be antagonistic to literacy. Researchers recently gave Michigan children and teen-agers home computers in exchange for permission to monitor their Internet use. The study found that grades and reading scores rose with the amount of time spent online. Even visits to pornography Web sites improved academic performance. Of course, such synergies may disappear if the Internet continues its YouTube-fuelled evolution away from print and toward television.

Turn the sound on or this link won't work...

OK, so I still have that freakin' Wham! song in my head (thanks alot, Willie). Luckily, I came across this link to get another annoying song stuck in my head.   Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

Jackie Chan in his prime...

Alright, I think this fight scene is a bit better:

"My suits are wearing me!"

In regard to a previous comment regarding How I Met Your Mother and "the slap," here's a video reference to those a bit unfamiliar:

Then again, these are the critics that probably got "Driving Miss Daisy" an Oscar for best picture...

So if you didn't remember or still need an idea for a last minute stocking stuffer, Blade Runner: The Final Cut came out on DVD this week. As I've already posted about before, I think this is the definitive version of a great film, but I guess many out there don't share the view that this movie was all that good. According to this article from Slate, which follows how this sci-fi classic went from being considered laughable kitsch to true film art, the initial reaction to Blade Runner when it first came out in theaters back in 1982 wasn't that flattering:

Reviews, however, were overwhelmingly negative ("A film that has neither strong characters nor a strong story," wrote Janet Maslin in the New York Times; "It forces passivity on you," Pauline Kael tsked in The New Yorker), and audiences were baffled, sometimes even hostile.

Even some modern audiences that never saw any version of the film before this newest release didn't like it:

My wife had never seen Blade Runner, and it held her rapt until the penultimate scene. Here, the most godly of replicants, played by über-Nord Rutger Hauer, bays primitively at the moon before subjecting Harrison Ford to a poetic oration about mortality. "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe," says Hauer, clutching a white dove to his naked breast. "Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die." At which point, Hauer releases the bird, and it flies in slow motion toward the sky. At which point, my wife laughed uncontrollably

I thought that scene was pretty nice. Oh well. What do I know?

Merry Christmas

With Firecracker beating Swany to the punch on upcoming movie trivia, I thought I would go out and beat him to the punch on one of his other signature style posts - videos so crappy you can't turn away. Of course this isn't really beating him to the punch considering he recently posted a hideous choreographed fight scene. We will just pretend this video is like me clawing and ripping at his shirt.

A little background on this ... I have always enjoyed listening to Christmas music this time of year, but it wasn't until I moved to North Carolina that I heard this piece. What really gets me is that it sticks in your head once you have heard it. I dare you to listen to the whole thing. You will be singing it the rest of the day.

Yo Joe, Yo Joe, Yo Joe, Yo Joe, Du-na-na-na-na-na-na...

I think only Firecracker George (or maybe even Wankmaster and Wander) may get that reference in the title of this post. Well, having been a bit lax and getting beat to the punch regarding The Hobbit, I thought I'd have to come up with some even cooler film news. Yeah, that's right--break out your Yo Joe Cola, 'cause Paramount Pictures is making G.I. Joe: The Movie! WOOHOO!

They've already cast Snake Eyes (Ray Park of Darth Maul fame), Storm Shadow (Korean actor Byun-Hun Lee), and Scarlett (Rachel Nichols, the Sydney Bristow replacement of sorts in the last season of Alias).  Sienna Miller has also signed on, although the descriptions of her role seem to make it sound like she's playing either the Baroness, Lady Jaye, or some new character all together.  

Granted the old cartoon and comic book weren't the most mature or sophisticated things we ever enjoyed back then, but the basic premise of it all still seems kind of cool.  Done right, this movie might actually have the potential of being really good (or could devolve into something completely embarrasing).  So long as they leave out any, "Cooooobraaaa la-la-la-la-la-la!!!"  And if they throw in some G.I. Joe PSA ads at the end, even better!

Booyah! I scooped Swany!

I caught wind of this today. It looks like Peter Jackson will do the Hobbit movies after all. And yes, you read that right. The word is they're doing the Hobbit in two movies so they don't have to leave a bunch of it out.

Click here to read the news I posted before the Pimp did.

Getting closer to the end...

Since Wild Willie has limited opportunities to hit the movie theaters, I guess he'll have to make do with what's on TV.  Luckily, Lost comes back next month, and here's a trailer.  

Who needs music videos anymore? TV shows do a fine job these days selling bands and their music...

I never really caught much of The O.C. during it's run since I didn't find anyone except the characters played by Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson all that interesting to watch.  The show was good for finding fresh emerging musical artists, though, and I'd often peruse the web looking to see who's music got featured on the show to pull myself out of a rut of listening to old familiar tunes. The creator of The O.C., Josh Schwartz, has gone on to start a couple of new shows this season such as Gossip Girl (sort of The O.C. reimagined in the high society atmosphere of New York City) and Chuck (sort of The O.C. reimagined if Seth suddenly became a secret agent man) complete with their own edgy soundtracks featuring a mix of hip songs and more obscure, lesser known bands put together by musical supervisor Alexandra Patsavas (who's also responsible for other music-laden shows like Grey's Anatomy and, of course, The O.C.).  

Anywho, this is a long-winded segway to say you should all check out this group, Band of Horses.  I got their latest album Cease To Begin awhile back and thought it was pretty good, but never thought to post about it until I recognized a couple of their songs ("No One's Gonna Love You" and "The General Specific") during key scenes in recent episodes of Chuck and Gossip Girl.  Now, this is not to say that this is a predictable radio-friendly pop album, but it does show a wide spectrum of moods from ethereal and mysterious to foot-stomping fun.  It's more kind of what would happen if you put The Shins and My Morning Jacket in a blender, and listened to the results.  It's indie rock with just a hint of the South.  
 

Pour some kerosene on top, light it up, and suddenly you're Ghost Rider...

In case you were looking to put together that Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine Chaplain costume, or if you just plain want to scare the heck out of passers-by while running down the road on your motorcycle, this helmet might just fit the bill.

They just don't make fight sequences like this anymore...

I guess this video will remind you of the importance of proper eye protection.  I especially like the quip at the end:

This looks (in falsetto voice) AWESOOOOME!!!

The new trailer for The Dark Knight is up on the Internet, and you can check it out at Gizmodo.  

Is it ever too early to look forward to the Summer Movie Season?

Alas, it's not a lesbian porn film either...

I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm sort of a sucker for any movie with Meg Ryan.  Romantic comedy (Sleepless In Seattle, French Kiss), action war drama (Courage Under Fire), suspenseful thriller (The Presidio, In the Cut)--if she's in it, I'll watch it.  Even an ensemble chick flick like Hanging Up and it's threat of the ubiquitous girlie sing-a-long--yup, endured it, watched it, liked Meg Ryan in it.  You could almost say, I have a crush on her.  So, of course, I had to watch her last movie on DVD, In the Land of Women.  

Oddly, the movie studios marketed this movie with posters like that to the left, screaming Generation Y romance.  Watch Adam Brody, straight from that hipster show The O.C., and emerging young star Kristin Stewart make out, fall in love, have babies, etc.  In reality, that kiss lasted all of five seconds, and really had nothing to do with a romantic coupling in the making at all.  This is not bad, though.  Instead, the debut film of young director Jonathan Kasdan is something much less formulaic, telling the story of Carter Webb (Adam Brody), an aspiring writer and softcore porn scripter from LA who gets dumped by his pretty Hollywood starlet girlfriend, and subsequently volunteers to take care of his senile grandmother in Michigan as an excuse to nurse his broken heart and figure out what's going on his life.  While there, he meets the Hardwickes across the street, who are dealing with their own heartaches, as well.  Sarah (Meg Ryan) is wrestling with regrets as she struggles with a new diagnosis of breast cancer and the realization of her own mortality, while her daughter Lucy (Kristen Stewart) tries to understand her own anger towards her mother as she maneuvers through the challenges of her teenage years.  The end product is a touching without being too sweet story of relationships between Carter and the Hardwicke women that helps them all heal and move on.  

This is the sort of movie that seems to beg for formula pieces.  Forbidden love affair between Carter and Lucy.  Abrupt reentrance of old girlfriend at some inopportune moment after Carter finds true love.   The Hardwicke girls breaking out into song using wooden spatulas as faux microphones to sing in.  Emo hipster soundtrack.  Luckily, it has none of that, and doesn't rely on any of the typical crutches.  Perhaps to illustrate this point is a scene where Carter, who went to private school in LA, asks Lucy to tell him about the usual normal high school stuff he probably missed out on like football games, prom, "You know, all that John Hughes stuff."  Lucy's reply, "Who's John Hughes?"  

This isn't Oscar-winning type stuff, but it's a solid DVD rental, and a fulfilling way to spend an hour and a half some evening.  Meg Ryan gives a pretty strong performance that may tell us what kind of movie roles we'll see her in now that she's getting past that typical romantic comedy leading lady age.  Kristen Stewart is believable as a sweet, yet confused teenage girl.  And Adam Brody shows some promising charisma that will probably have him emerge as the lone successful thing to come out of The O.C. cast.  If this was a film I rated in the theater, I'd probably call it "Cheesy."  But for a DVD, I'm willing to say it's...

Maybe he was better off as Homo after all...

I happened to listen to some of the pre-game radio commentary for the Cowboys game while I was driving around Dallas, and the word was that no one, players and fans alike, seemed all that excited about today's matchup against the Philadelphia Eagles.  So I guess it shouldn't shock anyone that Dallas lost 10-6 today.  This is December, after all, and this team is known for their late season collapses going into the playoffs.

Of course, it just so happened that Jessica Simpson was prominently shown to be in the box rooting for her new beau, QB Tony Romo, to publicly announce their dating status to the world.  Coincidence and bad luck, I'm sure, that she happened to be present when Romo had probably his worst performance all year.  Then again, he seems to have a history for not playing so well when his ladies are watching. From ESPN:

Romo finished 13-of-36 for 214 yards, with a career-low rating of 22.2. It came in front of his parents and his newest A-list girlfriend -- Jessica Simpson, who tugged the front of her pink No. 9 jersey, then mouthed the word "Romo!" when cameras spotted her. For what it's worth, Romo's previous worst rating came last December against Philadelphia when then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood was here.

The post-game radio call-ins from fans seemed to make it sound like they wanted Jessica Simpson run out of Dallas and banned from anything remotely related to the Cowboys from here on out.  I sort of feel sorry for the girl, but then again, I kind of find Jessica Simpson annoying anyway.  She seems kind of desperate to latch on to any famous guy these days, and milk it for publicity.

Say it ain't so...

Damn. So now we have to find out from the just released Mitchell Report that Roger Clemens was on "the juice," too? Considering how big he looks, I guess that shouldn't have surprised me, but I was always giving the guy the benefit of the doubt. I actually admired the guy for still having some pretty good heat left in his throwing arm at the ripe old age of 45. I still remember seeing his jersey retired I think with Wild Willie and Fandango back at the old Disch-Falk Diamond during my days at UT. It seemed kind of neat to see some minor history being made at that time. Too bad it all means nothing now. Now all he's good for is doing Google Image searches and finding scantily clad women attached to him like above (which was really the first hit that popped up...really...I swear).

At this point, I'm hoping they just make some new sports leagues where everyone has to be on steroids. Heck, they pretty much do it with horses already. Kind of reminds me of that classic SNL skit:


All Drug Olympics - Watch the best video clips here

Almost as bad as making Bond drive a BMW instead of an Aston Martin...

If you haven't heard yet, NBC has plans to release a reinvented pilot of Knight Rider in a couple of months they're hoping might spawn interest in an entire new series. Now, you can make fun of the Hoff all you want and mock the corny plotlines of the original series back in the 80's, but as a kid, I thought Knight Rider was the coolest thing on TV. I had hopes that this new iteration would have the potential to be on par with another recent update of a classic Glen Larson-produced show--Battlestar Galactica. Alas, by the looks of some of the pictures, this might actually turn out even dumber than the original. As much as I like the Shelby Cobra, it seems completely wrong as K.I.T.T. More pics at Ain't It Cool News.


Oh, and the new voice of the Knight Industries Three Thousand supercar? None other than Arrested Development's George Oscar Bluth II. Huh? Will Arnett?!


If David Hasselhoff actually does make a cameo, I'll be convinced this is supposed to be a spoof comedy, and will be looking for Leslie Nielsen to pop out at some point in the show.

A little football enjoyment for your Friday procrastination...

I figure Wild Willie and Wander would appreciate this video:

Cue theme music...

Is Swany losing his TV touch?

The Kool-Aid Gang's television guru has done all of a a great disservice. I guess we can blame it on the fact that he is now a full time career guy. But I still think he deserves to receive a hard time for not warning us ahead of time that the Sci-Fi Network would be airing a 2 hour special on the Battlestar Pegasus at the end of November. After searching for additional airings of the show, all I could come up with was that you could buy it on DVD. You can pre-order Battlestar Galactica: Razor and have it shipped just in time for Christmas. If anyone gets to see it let me know how it was.

I guess my model of the planets wouldn't have gotten too far in this science fair...

Most (or all) of the Kool-Aid Gang would probably admit that we're all just a dumb bunch of cavemen that keep out of trouble thanks to the intelligence and common sense of our better female halves. Perhaps girls are finally realizing their superior intellect, as well. For the first time in history, females took the top prize at the Siemens Competition in Math, Science, and Technology this year. Winning prizes by these super-smart ladies included "creating a molecule that helps block the reproduction of drug-resistant tuberculosis bacteria," "studies of bone growth in zebra fish, whose tail fins grow in spurts, similar to the way children’s bones do," and "research that identified genetic defects that could play a role in the development of Lou Gehrig’s disease."

Comparatively, the "research on combating jet lag" by the only male mentioned in the article sounded much less elegant.

Ugh! Ugh! (Caveman talk)

Go, Speed!

The new trailer for Speed Racer just came up tonight. It's a bit Dick Tracy-esque, but I think it will work a lot better for this movie. I'm already getting jazzed:



Alas, the closest I'll probably ever get to being Speed Racer in this world is dreaming about that ever elusive Lotus:



And did you know that the Lotus Elise/Exige is glued together--literally. At about 3:40 into this video, you'll briefly catch a glimpse of a Lotus factory worker with a bottle of glue, beading the adhesive onto a seam.



Someday. Someday.

BCS now stands for...

That mini football rant I posted a couple of days ago? Carl sums up my feelings much better:

Evel Knievel may be dead, but his spirit lives on...

Rednecks, a Suzuki Sidekick, a mound of dirt, and beer--sounds like a formula for disaster.  A little NSFW due to some cussing:

Go go gadget - uhmmm

It was at this point that Glenda realised that the word "Elephant" on her tampons, had not been the brand name.

from Cracked

Mild football rant of the day...

Is it just me or has this entire wacky season ended up leading to a really boring roundup of BCS matchups?  Ohio State vs. LSU--yawn.  Have a system where they could have put Hawaii in that game, and I might get excited just for the chance of some Boise State-like creativeness like last year.  Instead, the only unbeaten team left gets left out of the national title game.  How is that fair?  Mizzou not only beat KU in the regular season, but also finished higher in the BCS ranking, yet the Orange Bowl gives their bid to the Jayhawks?  That's just a blatant crime.  

I don't know if a playoff is truly the answer, but this current system isn't any better than what they had in place before the BCS existed.  

And luckily, no rumours of including the Wonder Twins...

I know most of you (or maybe none of you) read Justice League of America comics, but I'm sure you all watched Superfriends on Saturday mornings back in the day. The movie blogs have been abuzz of late regarding preproduction plans for a live-action JLA film. George Miller, who helmed all three of the Mad Max films as well as Happy Feet most recently (now that's what I call a diverse resume), has already been announced as the director. Even more spoiler-filled leaks have come to light, some of which sound cool, and some of which I'm a bit disappointed to read.

I'm very interested to see how they're going to make such an ensemble superhero movie work on the big screen. Having lots of people running around a movie screen in colorful tights, I'm afraid there's going to be a temptation to camp it up a bit. The conflicts between Batman and Superman were some of the more memorable subplots of Frank Miller's Dark Knight graphic novels and continue to be used well in more recent mini-series like Justice (recommended even just for the Alex Ross painted artwork alone), so I hope they keep that stuff up in the movie. Heck, they could have made a whole movie out of that. Let's hope they don't dumb this down too much.

Somehow, a vital member of the group, Aquaman, got left off the list. I guess he's hard to incorporate into a movie with six other superheroes that can't breathe underwater. Or maybe Vinnie Chase wasn't available.

And what's with Green Lantern? Everyone knows Hal Jordan is the best version of the Green Lantern Corps. I find the use of John Stewart as strictly a PC move on the movie studio's part.

Anywho, the official casting list has yet to be announced, but apparently they've already decided on Wonder Woman--Australian supermodel Megan Gale. Suddenly, Linda Carter seems really old:

Someone's got a wee bit of an anger management problem...

I'm not sure why, but I found this video of a confrontation with Bobby Knight during dove hunting season pretty funny, especially the way the guy holding the camera reminds us, "It's on feeilm."  If you listen carefully, Knight's buddy actually fesses up that he might have shot in the general direction of this guy's house, which gets lost in the coach's usual tirade.

Luckily, no foldable chairs were available in the back of the pickup.

More human than human is our motto...

Blade Runner: The Final Cut made its way to Dallas this week. When it first premiered, I wasn't even a decade old. I'm not even sure I was aware Blade Runner even existed that summer (and probably wouldn't have been that interested in it anyway at that point in my life). Instead, like most kids my age, I was wrapped up in E.T. mania and eating Reese's Pieces every chance I got that year. Some years later with the advent of VHS and the influence of a couple of members of this Kool-Aid Gang, I eventually got the urge to watch Blade Runner. It has since become a true favorite of mine that has continued to be engrossing with every repeat viewing. E.T. now seems like a distant fond memory--a classic movie of my youth that has just sort of stayed there. Over the years, though, Blade Runner has grown to a true work of art that will live with me for sometime to come. 25 years after its initial release, I'm still trying to wrestle with the central theme of the film--what it is that makes us all truly human. Blade Runner presents a bleak future where the world seems so polluted and crowded as if humanity is being choked out of existence. The only people in the film who care about life and seem truly human at all, end up being replicants. The Final Cut release puts to rest any doubt about Deckard--he's the most human character in the movie, and even he's a replicant.  It's our recognition of our mortality that truly makes us what we are, and no one seems to understand that more than the "skin-jobs" who are literally facing death with every minute they breathe.

Despite it's age, this new version of Blade Runner plays like a modern new release.  The special effects and the cinematography seem almost ageless.  Even Harrison Ford, with his short cropped hair, fits in with the modern trends of fashionable men today.  Sean Young is mesmerizing, which makes me baffled as to how her career turned out to be so unimpressive over the years.  News was that the entire film was re-edited, re-touched, and even re-shot in some places (which I'll have to admit, I had a hard time picking out other than the Zhora chase scene which has now eliminated any remnant of the John Hall from Hall and Oates-looking stunt double of the original cut).  The Vangelis musical score is beautiful, and sounds completely fresh in the big screen setting.

Although Blade Runner: The Final Cut comes out on DVD later this month, I think it's a shame that it's not getting a wider release in the movie theaters.  If it's out near you, be sure to make time to catch it at least once.  This is the definitive version.