Procrastinate for a good cause...

Firecracker George, with that insane vocabulary of his, should enjoy this game.

FreeRice gives you an endless quiz of your word knowledge, and donates 10 grains of rice for each answer you get right. I got up to a vocabulary level of 44 (perhaps partially by luck - you've got a 1 in 4 chance of being right just by guessing) before I had a string of wrong answers that discouraged me enough to quit for the afternoon.

Friggin' sweet, indeed!

If you didn't get enough of that Star Wars spoof on the season premiere of Family Guy, it looks like they've already got a script written for The Empire Strikes Back, and the cast already went through a preliminary table read.

On a side note, I don't think I ever realized the voice of Meg was that chick from That 70's Show.

That's the sort of market that we're tryin' to get into ...

Ever since Swany introduced us to Business Time, I have been highly anticipating the reruns on HBO for the Flight of the Conchords. To get my fix I will occasionally go do a search for some of their videos. Here is one that is pretty good.

Just gotta hope your would-be assailant doesn't get thirsty midway during the chase...

Some designer in Japan created these disguises to help potential crime victims allude muggers. Somehow, this vending machine costume fits under some flap in a woman's skirt, so she can simply pull it out and cover herself to hide if she's being chased. I suppose in a darkly lit city environment, this might work. Might be an easy way to make some cash, too. I've lost many a dollar bill on Coke machines that ate my money. Hmmm.

Now that's what I call a bonfire...

I'm not sure I really understood the extent of the inferno that Southern California has become until I came across this modified Google Map. I've always been convinced that Northern California was destined to fall into the ocean someday, but I never realized that the southern end of the state was at this much risk for apocalyptic disaster. Considering how much real estate is over there, I'm wondering if all these people that are watching their homes go up in flames had enough money left over to buy adequate insurance. Imagine the economic fallout that's going to result from this.

Something tells me this was more of a calculated "slip of the tongue"...

The more I hear and read about Mitt Romney, the more I really dislike the guy. This little gaffe, though, really put the nail in the coffin for me. Either he's subliminally working on the minds of voters and really pushing the envelope on our terrorist fears or someone sneaked in a typo into his teleprompter:

GREENWOOD, S.C. — Mitt Romney might have still been a bit bleary-eyed this morning when he twice confused Senator Barack Obama with Osama bin Laden when referring to the latter’s new recorded message.

Mr. Romney was talking about global trade this morning, rolling out a spiffy new PowerPoint presentation before the Chamber of Commerce here in which he called for the United States to initiate global free trade zone agreements with other countries that he called the “Reagan Zone of Economic Freedom.”

But he paused to talk about the threat of radical Islam, taking John Edwards, one of his Democratic opponents, to task for comments he made several months ago that criticized the “global war on terror” as a bumper sticker for President Bush.

“I think that is a position which is not consistent with the fact,” Mr. Romney said. “Actually, just look at what Osam — uh — Barack Obama, said just yesterday. Barack Obama calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq. That is the battlefield. That is the central place, he said. Come join us under one banner.”

The comment set off some confusion among the press corps. Glen Johnson of the Associated Press was momentarily frantically searching for comments made by Mr. Obama, another Democratic presidential contender, about jihadism and Iraq.

It turns out, of course, Mr. Romney was talking about the new audiotape from bin Laden calling on insurgents in Iraq to unite.

Oops.

Kevin Madden, a Romney spokesman, said afterward: “Governor Romney simply misspoke. He was referring to the recently released audiotape of Osama bin Laden and misspoke when referencing his name. It was just a brief mix-up.”

I'm betting you can't sit perfectly still and listen to this...

This music video of Le Tigre's "Deceptacon" looks and sounds like some throwback to the days of Revenge of the Nerds or all those teenage angst John Hughes movies:


Online Videos by Veoh.com

Dumbledore is gay? Who knew?

Not that I've yet to actually read a Harry Potter book, but it looks like J.K. Rowling outed Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore.

'Yeah, that's how I always saw Dumbledore. In fact, recently I was in a script read-through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore saying a line to Harry early in the script saying, "I knew a girl once, whose hair..." I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it along to the scriptwriter, "Dumbledore's gay!"'

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Rowling would start revealing a bit more juicy controversial detail to her books that might be subtly written in between the lines now that she's done with the series. And here I was just making up a story about Hermione doing a little university"experimenting" after graduating, if you know what I mean. Hehehe. OK, that was a bit juvenile.

More outrageous Star Wars collections...

I think this is one of the more tastefully displayed collections of Star Wars memorabilia I've seen. Almost makes it look like great works of art. I kind of chuckled when this guy says that the most he's ever spent on a piece of Star Wars stuff was ONLY $12,000:

In case you get lost in your bathroom...

I can't seem to remember exactly what I used when I started shaving, but I seem to recall the Gillette Sensor being one of the earliest razors to claim space next to my bathroom sink. Since then, I've been sucked into every iteration of Gillette's male grooming evolution. The Sensor, Sensor Excel, Mach 3, Mach 3 Turbo, Mach 3 Power--I've owned them all. Even after poking fun at the seemingly endless addition of an increasing amount of blades, I actually got a five-bladed Gillette Fusion Power awhile back. I'm not sure it really cuts any closer or treats my face any better than its older brethren, but I continue to shell out the extra cash for replacement blades anyway.

Not to rest on their laurels, but perhaps realizing that making a 10-blade razor would be ridiculous, Gillette has instead chosen to go the Swiss Army route and started adding gadgets to their shaving equipment. The newest Fusion model, in collaboration with The Art of Shaving, has a built in flashlight just in case you feel the urge to shave in the dark, I guess. I figure cell phone, text messaging, mp3 playback, and GPS tracking capabilities can't be too far behind.

I will endorse other products from The Art of Shaving though. I've been using their lavender shaving cream with a badger hair shaving brush for the past couple of years and haven't had an ingrown hair or any other skin irritation since.

I know that we have links to The Onion, but this was too funny not to point out.

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Someone might want to check up on Wild Willie...

(AP Photo/David Duprey)

After the disappointment of a close Longhorn loss to OU this past weekend and the end of this evening's insanity of a Cowboys game, I'm afraid Wild Willie might be passed out somewhere after depleting his body of adrenaline.

It was inevitable that Dallas was being set up for monumental failure tonight based on the extremely heavy amount of hype that was being piled upon them and Tony Romo. Who knew it was going to look as disastrous as this though? After throwing his fourth interception in the second quarter and watching backup quarterback Brad Johnson getting his helmet on, I was ready for Drew Bledsoe to revive the TonyHomo.com blog.

Gotta hand it to the Cowboys and Romo for keeping their composure and squeaking out a win, though. That or you have to believe that the Buffalo Bills are REALLY bad. Actually, I'm voting for the Bills and REALLY bad. I don't think I can easily recall a team recovering six turnovers and not winning.

Perhaps it's time to take up a new spectator sport. One that doesn't stretch the emotions quite so far to the extremes. Maybe curling. Or the WNBA.

A business model explained. This guy should charge a consulting fee.

This apparently appeared on Craig's List. I found it quite hilarious, and pertinent to my situation. (Except that I'm a far cry from the sought after value.)

***********************************************************************************************************************************

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810


THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Must have been a student of the ancient kung fu death touch...

Seriously, you'd think the spectator that runs on the pitch had hit the goalie with a sledgehammer based on the theatrical (and extremely delayed) fall to the ground. Two year olds have better reaction times than that to fake being hurt.

Damn Jamaal...

Oh well. OU still sucks!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

At Least I have Fallback

Most of you know I am a pretty big football fan. This use to lead to some significant mood swings on Saturdays and Sundays. The mood swings are mostly long gone, but they still remain for rivalry games like today's Red River Shootout. I will say though that last weeks loss could actually make a loss today much more bearable. I am pleased that we are walking into this game ranked where we are and being the underdog. It helps to ground my expectations and keep my emotions from swinging to far to the negative.

I do have a bright side this season - the Cowboys. I would always look to the Cowboys to ease my pain after a Longhorn loss, which worked well and often during the Mackovic era. It might work well this season too.

When you can't grab 'em by the horns...

I know Texas hasn't looked too sharp this season and they're the underdogs in this year's match up against OU, but I'm hoping something metaphorically similar to what happened to this guy isn't what's in store for the Longhorns on Saturday:

Church Deacon, OU Fan Tears Scrotum Of UT Fan In Bar Fight

OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla. -- Aggravated assault charges have been filed against a church deacon and University of Oklahoma Sooners fan after officials say he grabbed a University of Texas fan between the legs during a scuffle in an Oklahoma bar.A couple of months before the annual Red River Shootout between the Sooners and Longhorns, words were exchanged at Henry Hudson's Pub between Allen Beckett, 53, and Brian Thomas. Witnesses said it was because Thomas was wearing a UT T-shirt.

Neither Thomas or Beckett chose to comment, but the police report described what happened to the victim, including graphic details about his injuries that included a torn scrotal sack with partially exposed testicles.

Beckett's attorney, Billy Bock, said his client's actions were in self-defense.

"Sure, he's an OU fan. Not necessarily an overboard die-hard OU fan, but he certainly admits he said something in a joking fashion to the guy about his Texas T-shirt. The guy got offended. He said he was sorry," said Bock.

Bock said the apology apparently wasn't enough for the Texas fan and the man then approached his client. He said his client then grabbed the man in self-defense."The guy came over his other shoulder, and basically said, 'I'm getting ready to kick your you-know-what.' He said he felt threatened and he did what he thought he needed to do and grabbed him and left the bar," said Bock.

Bock adds that his client isn't a hardened criminal, but is a church deacon who makes his living as a government auditor who had gone to the bar that night for one reason -- to play darts.

When two minutes of heaven is better than one minute in heaven

I haven't gotten to watch much of Flight of the Concords, because I don't have HBO, but this cracked me up.

"That's why they are called business socks."

I knew Tom Brady was up to no good...

So this guy Jonathan Lee Richards is apparently serving time in jail for fraud and has spent his free time filing rather humorous lawsuits, including this one against Bill Belichick and his partners in crime from the New England Patriot, Tom Brady and Randy Moss. Highlighted above are my favorite parts of the filing:

I'm terrified of Defendant Belichick. He told me if I expose his illegal wiretaps that he would get the owner of the Patriots, Mr. Kraft who owns Kraft Foods to put poison in the Kraft cheese I eat at prison.

Defendants cheated during the 2005 Super Bowl against the Philadelphia Eagles. Before the game Tom Brady put a recording device in Donovan McNabb's Chunky Soup. He ate it.

Read the rest of the handwritten lawsuit if you've got time--it's pretty funny.

The OCD side of me is oddly fascinated by this...

We all know Wild Willie was quite the Star Wars collector back in the day, although it might be quite the battle royale to prove if he was more fanatical than Wander. But I would venture to guess than neither of them were as obsessive as this guy who actually cataloged his entire collection of action figures.

If only I could do something similar with all my comic books.

Do you ever just want to disappear?

Hell on Earth...

I'm sitting in the DMV getting my license changed over.

There's a new show on The CW called "Reaper" about a guy whose parents sold his soul to the devil, and now must hunt down souls that escaped from hell. Pretty funny stuff (Kevin Smith is the executive producer and directed the pilot), although not exactly church conversation.

The portal to hell where the main character delivers his captures back to hell is the DMV. I'm beginning to see why. Ugh.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Did you know?

Due to the nature of my job, the start of my day often coincides with the sun rising. I could start working earlier, but it would make it a little hard to see. When thinking ahead on my schedule today, I thought I would take into account Daylight Saving Time. I knew that Bush had signed an act to push the dates two weeks longer this year and all following years pending Congressional approval.

What I didn't know and had always said incorrectly is the middle word. I had always said Daylight Savings Time, but the correct way is to not have an "s" on the end of Saving. In this case Saving is a participle modifying the word "time." It would also be more accurate to spell it out daylight-saving time, but we all know the hyphen is going the way of the dodo.

(source: here)

Is this what you mean by keeping it fresh ...

This last weekend was a little rough for Longhorn fans, but at least we weren't alone. There were other football programs that were favored but lost as well. There is nothing quite like having an ou loss work to offset my sadness from the Texas loss. Another big game loss was from Florida. Maybe this video would cheer them up. I came across it on a Michigan Football Blog and it cracked me up.