We are kickers, we kick ball...

The Dallas Cowboys just signed a punter to an $8.5 million deal over five years. A punter! You figure he's not even out on the playing field enough to break a sweat during practically any game, and he's going to make $1.7 million a year.

I am truly in the wrong line of work.

Put that down!

Last year I wrote an email to my friends describing how Le Chiffre in Casino Royale got himself into a position that required the poker tournament. He was trading options in the stock market. More specifically he was trading put options which make you money when a stock price falls. Today I got a sense for what he was hoping.

I happened to be in 3 put trades today, and I made quite a bit of money. Of course this is not real money because I am practicing, but I can say that I have never been this excited to see the market drop like it did.

Lovelife digest, Virginia Woolfe style

It's time for the skinny on my continuing adventures with the opposite sex. Hopefully you all actually care, since I am now the odd man out. If you don't, know that my feelings are officially hurt you heartless bastards.

Where to begin? So many women, so many rejections. Not to worry though, because like sparring once you get used to taking a beating, it's not so scary anymore. It's been quite a couple of weeks for everyone's favorite verbose box turtle. I have to say this in defense of Houston - there are chicks everywhere.

So I had a surprise this morning in my email inbox. A match I closed on eHarmony actually asked that I reopen the match. This for me is a complete jaw-dropper. The only reason I closed the match is because I hadn't heard from her in a few days, which in my experience means that I'm not going to hear from her again. The girl I was all excited about a few weeks ago (the one whose answers I posted) is a good example of that. No wait, I take that back. She just closed our match. Eh, at least she was considerate enough to not leave me hanging.

However, unlike the girl I just mentioned, I opted to reopen the match I closed. So, we'll see what happens.

Thursday night as I'm getting ready to leave the office, my boss says to me, "so what are you doing tonight?" I tell him "laundry," to which he replies, "too bad, me and my buddies are going to shoot pool with a bunch of hot girls." So, I put off laundry, got my mom to go let my dog out, and headed out for the pool hall. Now, when I asked about the hotties, my boss's friends said, "You actually believed him?" And then they all had a good laugh.

Jackasses.

Anywho, I did however get a phone number from the girl they were all hitting on. The beauty is that I was about 3/4 drunk (which means two beers in the same hour) and completely off my game. Not only does she choose me over three others, when I give her my phone number, she immediately calls it to give me hers (which also lets me know that the number is legit.) I must be just too pretty - I should wear my hillbilly teeth more often to give others a chance.

Of course, I called her Saturday and have yet to hear back from her. But, who knows? People get busy.

The funny thing is, when I called her and left a message, I damn near called her Christine (the girl I met Friday night) instead of her name, Katie. Yet another potential disaster averted because I've learned to think before I speak. I must be the man my father always dreamed of being.

So anyway, Friday night I was out bar hopping with a group of folks I know. And as I've mentioned I meet Christine, the 23 year old Vietnamese girl. She claimed at one point that Asian girls have no boobs or ass, which made me wonder what was I staring at all night. I'm no genius, but I think I know cleavage when I see it.

Now, some of you may have read the last paragraph and thought, "23? Dang, isn't she a little young?" Well, considering that I fell for a girl who's not yet 21 a few weeks ago, not really. After debating it back and forth for two weeks, I finally decided to not worry about the chronological age and ask her out. Well, she dug me but she just got out of three year relationship and a bad break up, and is taking time to be by herself before dating again. Considering that I wasn't smart enough to do that at 31, it reinforced for me that she was more mature than most her age. Anyway, she has my email address.

Come to think of it, the vast majority of women I've dated have been older than me, some by several years. See what that has gotten me? Hmm, maybe this is a new paradigm for Firecracker George.

Then, I've been chatting with Heather at work, but the more I talk to her the less I think we would be compatible. Nothing earth-shattering, just not many shared interests. Don't get me wrong, no one would have to twist my arm to go out with her, I just don't put her at the top of the list of possibilities.

All these girls, and I STILL can't find a date for the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert on the seventh. Fate mocks me.

I nearly committed a major faux pas this morning.

So, I'm pumping iron this a.m., and I see someone wearing a shirt emblazoned with the logo of my alma mater. She was a tall, built, black woman, and I was practicing a conversation in my head as I wanted to walk over and say hi. After the "hi" and "So you went to TCU?" in my imaginary conversation, I imagined that I said, "You must have been a basketball player."

Now of course, I'm thinking this primarily because she was tall and muscular, and probably a little because she was black (to be honest, if she were the same but white, I'd think basketball or volleyball - hey, stereotypes are hard to escape sometimes)

Regardless of how I meant it, that statement could have very well sounded like, "Oh, a black person at TCU. You must have gotten in on your athletic ability." Holy crap am I glad I thought that out before I said anything.

The end of this story is that I went back to my work out, but before I left I made sure to give her the sign and say "Go Frogs." She laughed politely.

She was pretty cute, too.

Hate to have been that computer programmer...

Remember that scene in the Battlestar Galactica miniseries when the Cylons first invade Caprica? A squadron of Vipers are launched to intercept the incoming enemy, but are rendered helplessly floating in space after a Cylon computer virus crashes their onboard systems. Seems that such events aren't so much science fiction fantasy after all.

A group of eight F-22 Raptors, the most advanced aircraft in the world, set out from Hawaii to their new home in Okinawa, Japan. Unfortunately, two of the planes ran into a bit of trouble. As reported on CNN:

The F-22 Raptor is our frontline fighter, air defense, air superiority. It also can drop bombs. It is stealthy. It's fast and you want it all to go right on your first deployment to the Pacific and it didn't. At the international date line, whoops, all systems dumped and when I say all systems, I mean all systems, their navigation, part of their communications, their fuel systems. They were -- they could have been in real trouble. They were with their tankers. The tankers - they tried to reset their systems, couldn't get them reset. The tankers brought them back to Hawaii. This could have been real serious. It certainly could have been real serious if the weather had been bad. It turned out OK. It was fixed in 48 hours. It was a computer glitch in the millions of lines of code, somebody made an error in a couple lines of the code and everything goes.

Speculation seems to blame either the time change or the change in longitude from W179.99 degrees to E 180 degrees upon crossing the International Date Line. All this, because of a faulty line of code. Considering passenger aircraft are becoming more and more reliant on computer navigation and control, as well, my fear of flying has just jumped to another level.

H.R.G. Man has a heart after all...

What a great episode of Heroes tonight! It's amazing how well this show translates into the feel of a comic book. We get all kinds of background into Mr. Bennett, but still are left with all kinds of mysterious connections yet to be revealed. It's like reading the X-Men and one of those classic convoluted crossover plotlines by Chris Claremont and company that would run over a dozen issues and spill over into other titles.

I hope this episode got it out of Wild Willie probation for a little while, although I still have to remind myself it hasn't even finished up its first season yet. In another year or two, this could get as complicated as trying to figure out the whole Scott Summers-Jean Grey-Phoenix-Rachel Summers-Cable relationships from the X-Men.

Anywho, if you didn't catch it tonight, they'll be putting it up for online viewing pretty soon on their website.

An annual tradition that I just can't bring myself to stop...

Yet another year that I found myself watching the Academy Awards. I know I thrive on procrastination, but the Oscars are just a pure waste of time, listening to each winner thank everyone from their castmates to their parents to their pet turtle George. I'm a sucker for hype, though, and I end up watching nonetheless.

It's a rarity (actually, never) that my favorite film of the year wins the Oscar for Best Picture, so it was nice to see The Departed get the grand prize for the night. Even better that Martin Scorsese finally got an Academy Award for his work, although the fact that they got Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola, and George Lucas up there to present the Best Director Award kind of took all the suspense away.

Sad, though, that Peter O'Toole yet again was denied an eighth time for an Oscar. Granted, I've never actually seen any of his Oscar-nominated work, but he's just one of those actors that you just assume has won an Oscar (or actually, many) when you see him in movies. I know he was awarded a consolation prize i.e. Lifetime Achievement Award a few years back, but you gotta feel for the guy who you know wanted to win one outright, especially when he looks like he could croak at any minute.

Then again, what does the Academy know? After all, this is the group that voted Driving Miss Daisy the Best Picture of the Year back in the 80's. Does anyone honestly still even remotely remember that movie? Field of Dreams and Dead Poets Society were up for the same award that year. Yup, a waste of my time. A waste of my time. Damn you, pop culture hype machine!

Yup, those were the days...

In response to Wander's post below, is this the movie you speak of?



Apparently, Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles is available on DVD now, and even was showing in some theater for a couple of days last month in Firecracker George's neck of the woods. There doesn't seem to be enough sappy romance in this one from what I can tell based on the trailer, which I hate to admit is probably why I liked the original series so much.

Anywho, I liked the video Wander posted. Makes me think of less stressful days when I actually looked forward to getting up at 7:00 AM on a Saturday to watch that show. Oh, the things our kids will never understand with things like TiVo, YouTube, and DVDs. I'm surprised Cartoon Network hasn't broadcast reruns of Robotech. I feel the need to go get the original series on DVD now, though. Actually, I've been meaning to do that for years. Maybe I'll get around to doing that when I go purchase that Lotus I keep talking about.

The War Machine Springs To Life

Had this show on my brain lately, and I thought this video is pretty cool. New movie, show, role playing and video games by the end of the year I hear.

Trying to enjoy the nicer weather...

So the weather is warming up a bit, and the sun is out here in the Gateway to the West. Feeling a bit like a sloth and having avoided pretty much any physical activity short of the walk from my car to the lab or the effort it takes to lift a burger from the table to my mouth all winter long, I decided to take my bike out for a ride today. Now I've haven't even sat on my bike for about six months now. Basically, it has stood against a wall in my condo looking nice and shiny all year.

To further enhance my poser stance, my bike is a Bianchi, which would have made Wakinoffee drool uncontrollably back in the day. Sounds fancy, until you take a closer look and realize that mine is not of the legendary Italian-made lineage, but a cheaper line made especially for the American market with frames made in Taiwan. Not that M.I.T. bikes aren't made well, but it's kind of like comparing a Lexus to a Toyota. Like any decent poser, I also use clipless pedals (the bike came with them), which actually haven't been that problematic for me...until today.

If you haven't used clipless pedals before, basically your shoe has a specialized cleat that locks into the pedal. This improves your pedal efficiency, but also makes it a bit more difficult to free your feet for stabilization during a stop or fall. Stop without your feet "clipped out," and you remain literally attached to your bike, making for an extremely embarrasing situation for yourself (or quite a humorous one for onlookers).

This is what happened to me this afternoon. I seemed to forget this important principle, and ended up on my back with my bike held up in the air, still attached to my feet. Luckily, there were no eyewitnesses to my goof (at least none that I saw), and I heard no uproarious laughter erupt. Oh well. At least I finally made an effort to get some exercise.

Another election cycle, another term without a viable female presidential candidate...

The New York Times has a nice graphic on their website today which summarizes the stance of each presidential candidate on Iraq, and selected quotes illustrating their viewpoint. Probably the only real solution offered as an alternative to the strategy that's currently being used is from Senator Joseph Biden, who has repeatedly voiced his suggestion that Iraq be divided up based on their Islamic sects, and allowing each group to have some amount of regional control with a weaker central government. I have no idea if this idea would work, or if it would create even more sectarian conflict, but at least it's a bit more than the lip service we're getting from just about everyone else in Congress. Simpling saying we have to get out of Iraq, cap troop levels, or continuing to bash the current Presidential administration doesn't seem to accomplish much in my mind.

I was listening to some NPR story last night where someone used the recent problems revealed about the Walter Reed Army Medical Center as an opportunity to talk about failures of leadership in the current administration. Now, I don't disagree, but I've pretty much become numb to such dialogue. Short of calling for an impeachment (which wouldn't do the country any good, since Cheney would now be President), I just can't understand what anyone is trying to gain from such statements anymore other than some extra political capital or to give them some personal "I told you so" satisfaction.

A prime example of this political strategy seems to come from Hillary Rodham Clinton. Unlike every other Democratic presidential candidate, she still has not openly stated that her Congressional vote in support of the President going to war in Iraq was a mistake. Instead, she's manuevered quite adeptly around the issue by instead turning the conversation to the hot-button issue of Bush and his failed role as Commander in Chief. The quote this NYT graphic uses for her:

If I had been President in October of 2002, I would have never asked for authority to divert our attention from Afghanistan to Iraq, and I certainly would never have started this war.

Granted, this quote is a bit out of context, but her vote in Congress back in 2002 seems to contradict her statement. Seems like an easy thing to say after the fact.

My wife has been off the wall excited about the prospects of Hillary Clinton becoming the next President. I would like to be enthusiastic, as well, as I think this country is ready for a female in Oval Office. But the thought of Hillary being my President frankly disgusts me to the extent that George W. probably did it for most Democrats. It has nothing to do with her being a woman.

My wife would probably say that this is the way women have to play the game. After all, are we talking about any other women running for president right now? And haven't men been playing the exact same way all this time? I guess she has a point--women sometimes are judged a bit harshly when they play like the men. And being the sole woman in this field singles you out, and puts any political games you play that much more in the spotlight. The difference, though, is that she's the wife of a former president who was a bit of a controversial figure himself. Perhaps another woman running for president without the historical baggage of a Clinton would run into some resistance, but certainly wouldn't be as polarizing a figure as Hillary.

As you've probably heard, Hollywood heavyweight David Geffen was quoted by Maureen Dowd in her editorial column for The New York Times saying just that:

Not since the Vietnam War has there been this level of disappointment in the behavior of America throughout the world, and I don't think that another incredibly polarizing figure, no matter how smart she is and no matter how ambitious she is -- and God knows, is there anybody more ambitious than Hillary Clinton? -- can bring the country together.

This, of course, made headlines yesterday because Geffen is publicly supporting Barack Obama in his presidential campaign. The Clinton camp denounced the remarks as personal attacks and mudslinging. Unfortunately for Hillary Clinton, this is what most of America is probably thinking.

Looking back at that NYT graphic, only three of the presidential candidates were opposed to going to Iraq from the beginning. The most prescient quote from the three? Obama:

I know that invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East and encourage the worst rather than best impulses in the Arab world and strengthen the recruitment arm of al Qaeda. I am not opposed to all wars, I am opposed to dumb wars.

We probably won't be seeing a woman taking over the Oval Office in 2009, but perhaps a man of color isn't that farfetched.

Am I sexist to think this way?

The big news in the world of tennis today is the announcement that, starting this year, women will be paid an equal amount of prize money as the men at Wimbledon. Perhaps I'm just an ignorant male, but if men play five set matches and women only play three, shouldn't men be paid more? Over the course of an entire tennis tournament like Wimbledon, those potential two extra sets per game can eventually add up to a lot of playing time on the court. It seems the fair thing to do would be to have the women play five sets, too. To pay women the same amount of money for what amounts to less work actually seems to make women look weaker, not stronger, like they can't handle the increased playing time. Maybe someone out there with a better perspective about the difference between male and female athletics can explain this to me.

A pitch that geeks can love...

For some reason, I'm completely fascinated by the legend of the gyroball. This isn't the first time I've posted something about it. Even if one really was thrown during a nationally televised game with the aid of slow motion to review the pitch, though, I'm not sure I'd be able to identify it. Heck, differentiating between a fastball, curveball, knuckleball, slider, changeup, etc. is still a bit difficult for me to pick up during the course of a ballgame.

Strangely, Daisuke Matsuzaka, the $50+ million Japanese import picked up by the Boston Red Sox during this offseason who purportedly is the only ballplayer able to throw the pitch consistently during play, denies he even has this in his bag of tricks. But to clear up the mystery, The New York Times ran a story complete with some nifty graphics featuring Kazushi Tezuka, the Japanese trainer who invented the pitch over a decade ago:

Tezuka used a standard fastball grip. He went into a basic motion. Only at the end of his delivery did he deviate. He turned the inside of his throwing arm away from his body and released the ball as if it were a football, making it spiral toward home plate.

The pitch started on the same course as a changeup, but it barely dipped. It looked like a slider, but it did not break. The gyroball, despite its zany name, is supposed to stay perfectly straight.

Is it a myth? Is it real? I don't know, but I'm kind of excited about the start of the upcoming Major League Baseball season.

News from around the Empire...

Something I found on the Internet today that Wander probably was already aware of a long time ago--is there anything Star Wars related that man doesn't know? I also noticed they were looking for writers. Sounds like a gig for our aspiring writers, Wander and 'Cracker.

An in-depth look at Frank Miller...

I don't normally watch the G4 network since I don't own any computer games or gaming consoles, but I happened to have it on today and saw a commercial for a show called Icons that will be focusing on Frank Miller on March 4th. Thought a few of you might be interested. I'm setting my TiVo now.

We LIKE you very much...

I'm sure most of you have heard or read about the homophobic remarks made by NBA player Tim Hardaway last week. Now watch the response from George Takei (aka Sulu from Star Trek) on Jimmy Kimmel Live!:

If only my house were at risk of being overrun by bear, I might have an excuse to buy one...

So as I mentioned in a comment to a post earlier in the week, I spent an afternoon this weekend shooting what amounts to an elephant gun. The .50 caliber revolver shown above is similar to what I got to use except I had the additional advantage of a telescopic sight attached to the top. The picture doesn't really give you any reference to how big and heavy this thing is, but I'll just say, I was a bit scared to even shoot the thing, and it took a bit of coaxing before I was convinced to even pull the trigger once. With the right ammunition, this gun is capable of stopping an elephant, and with the rounds I used, I supposedly could have killed a grizzly bear.

This experience was all thanks to a guy I know through one of my wife's friends who's been offering to take me out to the gun range for quite a while. To say he's a gun connoisseur might be an understatement. Not only does he have an impressive collection of firearms, he regularly takes gun courses that probably puts the typical policeman to shame, and even reloads his own bullets from spent casings. As a result of all his training, though, gun safety always seems to be on the top of his mind, and in fact, he probably spent 99% of the 30 minute drive up to the range reviewing such things with me.

By days end, I had the chance to shoot a 9mm pistol, two different models of .45 caliber pistols, a simple .22 caliber rifle, an AR-15 rifle equipped with a holographic sight, a vintage M1 rifle from World War II (complete with the "pa-ting!" as the clip flies out the top after shooting your last round), and finally finishing out with the "elephant gun." Now, you might be a bit concerned that I'd be exposed to so many firearms at one time. It sounds a bit nutty, and in truth, it was kind of strange unloading that arsenal from the car. But I think I learned a few things that day, and even erased some preconceived notions I had about firearms:

1. It's not easy to hit things with a pistol - I usually spend many a television show rolling my eyes because someone like Jack Bauer on 24 can't simply shoot out the tires of a fleeing car with his Sig Sauer. Little did I know that, gosh darn it, it's really hard to hit a stationary object, let alone a moving one. I was shooting steel targets from probably 25 yards away, which I hit pretty consistently, although with a considerable amount of time spent thinking about my aim, my grip, and my trigger pressure. I moved out only 10 yards, and hitting targets was exponentially harder. I've been told that a police officer recently had her pistol stolen off of her by a guy she was trying to bring into custody. The guy, standing over her, emptied out the entire magazine and only hit her twice.
   
2. Ammunition is heavy - I always seem to forget that bullets are made out of lead. Pile all that lead in an ammunition box, and boy, it's heavy! Yet again, more appreciation of the soldier in the field carrying around ammo.
   
3. Guns are still a bit scary, but not quite as scary as I first thought - Shooting something that can stop an elephant still scares me a bit, which is why he loaded it with the bear-stopping rounds instead. Still, it seems unlikely that a gun would just go off spontaneously. You still have to have someone put their finger on the trigger and pull. As long as you're always aware of where your gun is pointed and where your trigger finger is resting, shooting can be a relatively safe endeavor. Unfortunately, there are enough idiots out there to make this dangerous in the wrong hands. Perhaps mandatory gun safety courses, extensive background checks, and wait periods aren't such a bad idea.
   
4. Shooting something 100 yards away is A REALLY LONG WAYS AWAY - Again, one of those things I never really appreciated until I tried it myself.
   
5. Shooting is kind of relaxing - Trying to hit a small target from a distance certainly takes some concentration, and can be relaxing as you focus on your mark instead of whatever worries have been troubling you for the day. It's actually a bit like golf, except you don't have to go chase your ball. Granted, you can't easily kill someone with a golf ball (unless you're Tiger Woods), but still...
   

Now after this whole experience, I'm not sure I'm quite ready to go buy a gun or join the NRA. However, it has given me a whole new perspective on the issue of gun control and a very minute glimpse of the challenges of the U.S. Armed Forces in battle that, at least, makes me a more informed citizen.

UPDATE: My friend/firearms instructor just emailed me a picture of my day with the scary revolver. You can probably imagine the goofy grin I had on my face under the censor (since I still am holding to my relative anonymity on this blog)--the gun is practically bigger than my head!

Why wait in line when there's a perfectly good Baskin-Robbins across the street?

I've never actually had the opportunity to enjoy a cup of Pinkberry yogurt, but I seem to read about this thing everywhere. I'm not sure what the fuss is all about. Apparently, all it amounts to is some frozen yogurt with fruit or a handful of Cap'n Crunch sprinkled on top, but it seems to have become the "it" treat in Los Angeles/Hollywood. Pictures of celebrities with a Pinkberry cup in their hand are pretty commonplace now in the weekly paparazzi magazines, and the buzz around these things are so hot that people have been known to wait in line for unusually long amounts of time to get their fix.

The New York Times today has it's own story about Pinkberry. As is usually the case with anything so simple and yet so popular, it has spawned a number of copycats. The idea behind the yogurt started in South Korea, and the competition sounds like something out of some cross-town tae kwon do school rivalry.

Why does my mind automatically think of something dirty?

The Dark Side Beckons

My friend in the 501st, shown above in his custom made Mandolorian armor painted in the original white Boba Fett was going to be until the day before his scenes were shot for ESB, has all but talked me into joining him in his dark crusade. We're working on my Stormtrooper armor right now, well I should say he is; I don't know my hydrospanner from a motivator, and we're hoping to have it done in time for me to march in Denver's St. Patrick's Day parade (along with around 50 other troopers) and a visist to the Denver Children's Hospital afterwards. I think I may have just joined the Empire!

I'll post pics of yours truly in my 'white's' when I get them taken.

The Right Mix

After missing it two weeks in a row, I remembered to watch BSG last night. I know that there have been complaints that the show was lacking in it's previous luster, but I think last night had the right formula - a mix of character drama and action; man vs. self and man vs. nature (in the case of last night, at least.)
So last night was Admiral Adama's turn for self-reflection and growth; with the memory of his ex-wife, his son, and his possible new love interest. All very well done and convincing. Interspersed with this is an action story of sorts, Kalli and the Chief getting stuck in the airlock and having to go out the back way. So a good balance of character development, and harrowing adventure to keep the show from becoming a soap opera. I think that as long as they don't stray too far to either side for too many consecutive episodes they'll be good.

No Big Surprise

Well the reviews for Ghost Rider are awful. And that includes sites where the movies are reviewed by comic fans like IGN.com. Sadly, I had a feeling. Oh well, I still have Frank Miller's 300 coming out in a few weeks, and the early reviews are stunning. It premiered at the Berlin Film Festival yesterday and was greeted by a ten minute standing ovation afterwards, as well. Swords, epic battles, men who stand up for an ideal and lay down their lives to fight for it, this film has everything I love in a story. Oh and it is based on one of my favorite Frank Miller graphic novels, so it has that going for it, too.

My name is Deja Vu. Haven't we met somewhere before?

I think when they finally wrap up Lost, I'll be hitting myself on the head, and saying, "Oh! Why didn't I think of that?" After last night's episode, I'm totally out of ideas as to how this whole thing will come together in the end. If they take some "Who shot J.R.?" plot twist ending and say this was all in someone's head all along, though, I may just have to find out where J.J. Abrams lives so I can egg his house.

Anywho, I'm not sure if all the six degrees of separation and such are important to the end plot or just something for the audience to "geek out" to, but this website manages to show all kinds of screen caps of interesting Easter eggs you might have missed on first glance.

It just fell on me like a ton of bricks.

It's weird how random elements often come together around the same time and coalesce in us as revelation. While some might see this as coincidence, I see this as providence. The latest gift I've received of providence has to do with Joseph Campbell, Pierre Abélard, C.S. Lewis' four names of love, Garret LoPorto's revelation that much of modern Christianity focuses on logos while all but abandoning eros, Jesus' command to "Love your neighbor as yourself," and the old truism that we hate in others that which we hate most in ourselves.

It starts with the marginally related elements. I've been thinking of Pierre Abélard recently, as I have a situation similar to one for which he is most famous, but that's not something I'm going to go into. Anyway, to soothe myself I've been listening to an interview of Joseph Campbell, where he speaks of love in western mythology, specifically Christianity's doctrine of agape, which is of course one of the four loves identified by C.S. Lewis. I was reading up on Lewis' The Four Loves because I'm organizing my music according to them. Let me paraphrase Lewis' definitions so everyone is on the same page:

• philia - brotherly or friendly love; generally love for another person devoid of sexual interest
  
• eros - sexual love, or as Campbell describes it, "the zeal of the organs for each other."
  
• amore - what we traditionally think of love, or romantic love. The love reserved for spouses/partners.
  
• agape - love of God, but also love for others that is both unconditional and voluntary. It is the love of which Jesus spoke when he commanded "Love your neighbor as yourself."
  

So having both the definitions of love from Lewis and the assertion that agape is the ultimate tenet of Christianity rolling around in my head, one or both of them must have bumped into my memory of LoPorto's assertion that many modern Christians focus on the logos or logic, dogma, rules, of the faith almost to the exclusion of its eros (which in this context refers to love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding). Put another way, many Christians are acting in an Old Testament fashion to the exclusion of New Testament action. It's the type of behavior that turns so many off to religion; that has so many people sneer and scoff at the sound of the word "Christian."

The question is, "why?" Why do so many feel that judgment and condemnation are Christian virtues? The answer I think is in the old truism: we hate in ourselves that which we hate most in others. Now that I'm divorced, the distinction of 'person who most easily gets under my skin' is my dad. Why? Because we're so alike. I see his sheepishness, his lack of self-confidence, and his social awkwardness and I get angry with him. I get angry because those are all things that I wrestle with in myself. Those are things that I hate in myself.

So why are so many Christians so quick to condemn others when the second-highest commandment in Christianity is to "love your neighbor as yourself?" Why do so many Christians disobey that penultimate command?

Maybe they don't. If you look at the command, it states that Christians should love their neighbors as much as, as well as, they love themselves. But if you don't love yourself, then that pretty much dictates that you'll be a big jerk to everyone else, too. And from what I've experienced, much of modern Christianity may give lip service to self-love (agape in Lewis' definitions, not eros), but in fact promotes self-loathing. We are such bad people that Jesus had to sacrifice himself as a scapegoat for our sins.

But I agree with Abélard's understanding of the crucifixion that it is not a ransom paid or a penalty applied, but an act of at-one-ment (atonement) with all humanity. The crucifixion illustrates the suffering inherent all our lives, and removes our minds from commitment to things in this world in compassion for Christ. It is in this capacity that the wounded becomes the savior. Humankind yearning for God and God yearning for humankind on the Cross in compassion met.

Which is what we need, compassion. We need unconditional and voluntary love - agape - first for ourselves, and then for others. We must truly and without self-deceit love ourselves first, and then we can do so for our neighbors. When we can pluck the beam from our own eyes and can forgive ourselves for having imperfections in the first place, we will not mention the mote in another's because of our common unity (community) in imperfection and common passion (compassion) for life, suffering and all.

It's not snow, but it'll do...

Too bad I didn't find this link yesterday--it would have fit in well with the unofficial theme of the day.

Every Jedi vs. Sith Lord lightsaber battle from the entire Star Wars series in chronological order.

Yes, I really do excel at procrastination. If only they gave out medals...

More Is Better - A Pet Theory

Pimp's last post got me thinking about why some ideas get taken to extremes. He also got me wondering about the Girls Gone Wild stuff, and what prompts that kind of behavior.

Now, not being omniscient, any and all theories I have are subject to a bias of my experiences, and a lack there-of. That being said, my best guess is that somebody will always figure more is better. If moderation of alcohol is good, then abstinence must be better. Or, if moderation of alcohol is good, then total immersion must be better. If my parents were too harsh, then I should be far too lenient. What kids need today is a good ass-whipping. The solution imagined is often more of the same. As I've heard people say, "if violence doesn't solve the situation, then you aren't hitting hard enough." It's rare to hear someone suggest balance.

And why is balance so often neglected as a solution? Because it requires more of us. We have to make constant judgment calls, rather than make a single decision and apply it to every situation. Balance requires us to analyze every situation individually. And what if we're not good at doing that? Well, rather than admit it and try to learn how, we often simply yell louder, hit harder, drink more, or become stricter.

Now, as for the Girls Gone Wild stuff, I actually don't know. I do know that I've known plenty of girls who would do things at 20 that they wouldn't do at 25 or older. I don't know if it's an age + culture thing, and I never will - I'm a dude. I do know that every woman that I've known personally who had 'relations' with another woman at one point has also been promiscuous with men. And, they have had abusive or neglectful childhoods, usually heavily the fault of the father. I guess what I'm stumbling towards here is that often the joy and wild abandon you see on the late night commercials might come more from an attempt to salve a sorrow than anything else.

Or maybe I'm way off. I don't know.

If Jesus walked the Earth today, perhaps he'd be turning water into beer...

As most of you know, my church upbringing as a child was in the Southern Baptist denomination. Overall, I think this was a relatively good foundation from which to build my personal views of ethics and values, but in some ways the stereotypical Baptist conventions can also be viewed as too restrictive and judgmental. Perhaps the most controversial of these tenets is that absolute abstinence of alcohol is required in the eyes of God.

I understand the principle behind this the context of alcohol reducing one's inhibitions to the point of acting upon ones baser desires instead of focusing on the path of the Lord. And watching any edition of Girls Gone Wild or hanging out at a typical frat party in college would certainly support this view. Proponents of a complete abstinence from alcohol typically cite numerous passages from the Bible warning about its dangers. They'll say that the "wine" used in biblical times was merely a way to sanitize water, and probably didn't even have near the amount of actual alcohol today's versions of wine have. From my recollections, though, the passages from the Bible that "forbid" alcohol, merely warn against drunkeness, or drinking to extremes. I'm not sure it explicitly addresses moderate drinking.

I would argue that drinking amongst friends in moderation can be a good thing, as some of the inhibitions we have aren't necessarily there for good reasons. A little alcohol sometimes helps to "loosen things up" a bit, at least to the point that one can feel comfortable enough to share some deep inner thoughts without the brain being fearful that whatever comes out will be overscrutinized and judged in a negative way. This is not necessarily related to the direct biological effects alcohol has on the brain, but perhaps may simply be a result of sharing in a social activity that promotes hanging out and having a conversation. Central to a church is a sense of community, and being able to discuss issues honestly and openly with each other in a lucid manner is perhaps what's lacking in some of the more strict Christian communities these days. In other words, sharing a beer or a bottle of wine amongst friends can actually be a good thing.

I wonder if the Southern Baptist Convention sometimes loses sight of these things. The fear of alcohol at times is so engrained into their being that they'll shun anything even remotely related to alcohol, as was done with water donations from Anheuser-Busch during hurricane relief efforts. It seems that it's human to delve into territories that are potentially dangerous, but may say a lot about man's self-control and connection with God when he can enjoy these things in a responsible manner in a way that treats such pleasures as gifts to be thankful for rather than sinful delights to be shunned out of existence.

With that, I wasn't sure what to think about this article recently in The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Picnics and coffeehouses used to be the typical gathering places outside of the church, but it seems one church here in town is making the brewpub the new location for ministry:

Theology at the Bottleworks is run by a wildly successful congregation of young St. Louisans called The Journey. The Schlafly program is part of the church's outreach ministry. And it works.

Every month dozens show up at the brewpub to drink beer and talk about issues ranging from racism in St. Louis to modern art controversies to the debate about embryonic stem cell research. First-timers are invited to check out the church on Sunday, and Journey leaders say many have. Theology at the Bottleworks is just one of The Journey's ministries, but it has helped the church grow from 30 members in late 2002 to 1,300 today.

The Missouri Baptist Convention donated $200,000 to this church to help them buy and renovate an old Catholic church to be their new home, so you can guess there's a bit of friction in regards to their "beer ministry."

It's an interesting idea, and one that would at least make me a bit more curious about this church. Tolerance is never a bad thing (and Schlafly beer isn't too shabby either).

And here I thought sea lions just slept all day long...

I came across this story on The Seattle Times website today about the possible deployment of Navy-trained sea lions and dolphins to Pugent Sound to bolster security of the naval station up there. I was aware that a U.S. Navy Marine Mammal Program existed, but always thought this was more of a research-only group. Apparently, though, these animals have been deployed all over the world and do a pretty effective job of locating sea mines, divers, and other suspicious objects.

Now if only I could borrow one of them to help find all that loose change I dropped in the pool last summer.

Stirring the Soul

Often times it is easy to get discouraged, and to let your dreams just fade into the background. Once that has happened for me I just sort of wade through life until something inspirational stirs my soul and awakens the dreams again. So to keep this from happening, I am making a list of the things that I find that wake my soul up and get it excited so that I can resort to them when I get discouraged. A few from my list would include the movie Braveheart (as well as the soundtrack), staring at campfire, and reading Hebrews 11. The list goes on, but I would like to know what inspires you? What stirs your soul awake?

HD DVD Formats

How many of you remember beta from the 80's. If you were a hi-fi kind of person back then, then you might remember that beta was the better quality at-home movie-watching and recording media format. While it was a much better quality, VHS won out. Why would such a thing happen? How come? Some of us here at the blog might immediately respond with Physics as the answer. Well believe it or not, I can actually say that answer would be correct ... if Rathna was your teacher. It is all about an orgy. The porn industry decided that VHS was going to be there choice for format and the rest is history.

Based on that history you may want to know that the porn industry has chosen Blue Ray to be there format of choice for high definition. (High definition porn is a scary thought.) So maybe your decision has been made for you.

A little something I'd like to have ...

In an effort to fill some of the blog slack that Swany spoke of, I have decided to share with everyone something that I hope to have some day.

Some of you may know that I have started trading in the stock market, but what you might not know is that there is a whole niche of computers and monitor set-ups for traders. What you are seeing above is something that I could actually put to use right away. At a large price tag, though, that won't be happening anytime soon. It will happen though.

Talk about major LEGO back...

Perhaps while you're waiting for that new Boba Fett television show to come out in two years, you can start putting together this Ultimate Millennium Falcon. It's only a mere $500 and has 5195 pieces, "the biggest LEGO set ever made."

With my LEGO IQ, it might actually take me two years to assemble this thing, but I figure Firecracker George could put this sucker together in a day. He might even be able to cut that down to an afternoon if you give him some Danger Mouse, Transformers, and G.I. Joe reruns to watch.

Another year or two in a galaxy far, far away...

A sneak peek at the New York Toy Fair this week of what the future of a certain sci-fi license holds. I may have to put myself in carbonite to wait that long. For several years now there were rumours of a planned Boba Fett heavy TV show set in between Episode 3 and Episode 4. I'd say that might just be more then a rumour now. Oh, my Star Wars Boba Fett collector cup runneth over!

Do the Pingu...

Looking back at my archives, I've been a bit lax this month on the blog in comparison to other months such as September when we maxed out at 101 posts. Perhaps I'm a bit blogged out or maybe I just have nothing that important going on so that I don't feel compelled to procrastinate as much. Whatever the case may be, I've got a bit of writer's block, and will resort to a video today to insure that your week will be filled with an annoying song (unless you're two) playing over and over again in your brain. Just try and get it out of your head. I dare you! And, yes, that is the Hoff singing:

From now on, please refer to me as the Artist Formerly Known As Scootypuff jr.

During my past ten years of goofing off in the realm formerly known as cyberspace (notice that name has gone into disuse?), I've adopted several nom de keyboards, usually taken from whatever was tickling my funny bone at the time. Because of this, I've developed a form of internet personality disorder, and I'm losing track of who said what where. Was it Blue Fugate on AIM? Was it Spice Weasel on CoX? Was it Scootypuff jr. on the Kool-Aid blog? It's all oh so confusing.

So in an effort to integrate my multiple user personalities, I'm adopting a single screen name. I'd go see a psychiatrist instead, but I don't have health insurance.

If you mourn the passing of Scootypuff jr., please know that I think you're friggin' nuts. It's still me, guys.

As a friend recently said, "God knows us by our hearts, not our names."

The Internet is so cool...

I think I will be thanking W.M. Scratch for years to come for clueing me into Pop Candy. Just when I was feeling like I was reaching a drought into finding new music, Whitney Matheson from Pop Candy comes along with yet another gem from the Internet. Called finetune, this website allows users to listen to all kinds of music and create playlists to share.

I actually stuck a finetune player into the sidebar, and could envision putting separate ones for each member of the Kool-Aid Gang, although I don't know if that would create some massive load time problem for the blog. The only downside to this is that you have to put 45 songs on your playlist, which is why the current selections on my player are a bit scatterbrained--I let the website pick the majority of my current list.

Anywho, take a look around on the site, and let me know what you guys think. I may finally be able to be as hip and cool as Wander in my musical selections yet!

Star Wars and Lost...

Anyone catch the return of Lost from hiatus last night? Actually, I guess I'm only typing to Wild Willie--I've gotten the impression that he's the only one reading this blog that watches the show, and even his interest sounded like it was waning.

Overall, I was a bit underwhelmed, but always leave it to a quick quip from Sawyer to salvage it:

I can't believe you fell for the wookie prisoner gag!

Reading around on some of the Lost discussion sites, someone even pointed out that apparently Princess Leia's detention block number of AA23 in Star Wars matched up with "Cheech's" prison room number of 23 in the show last night. Nice.

Hold on to your crotch, 'cause this is gonna hurt...

Hmmm. I actually posted this a couple of hours ago, but it's not on the blog. Considering I did this at work, I'm kind of worried as to where the original went. Probably accidentally sent it off to my boss or something. Anywho...

I was sitting in the break area eating my lunch today. Instead of the usual Time, People, Redbook, Entertainment Weekly, etc. that's usually scattered across typical break rooms across the land, mine has scientific journals. So today I flipped open an issue of Nature that was on my table to read up on the latest scientific advancements, and stopped at an article describing a study to determine how earwigs decide which of their two penises to use. Yes, two penises. Apparently, this isn't as uncommon a phenomenon as you would think, as various species of arthropods and spiders have dual members. But how do they decide which one to use with the ladies? If you're a certain species of spider, well, you just eat one!

I hope that booger pizzas invoke much fear.

This might get Scooty all excited, but my guess is that he has little clue.

Every so often I get to help a kid with his homework. This last Monday was one of those days. I got to help a 4th grader separate words into diphthongs and digraphs. Fortunately, he had the answers from class. Unfortunately, he had no idea what either meant. I had only a little clue about diphthongs, and no clue about digraphs. Plus my little clue about a diphthong stopped with only having heard the word before.

Well, something you should know about me is that I like to know stuff. My sister loves to refer to me as a Sabe La Todo (it is ironic that I do not know how if Spanish phrase is spelled correctly). Not knowing what something means usually requires me to find out the meaning - but only if I can find out with little effort. As a kid this meant asking my parents what something meant. They would either tell me (which would also include making up an answer that I would believe), or they would tell me to go look it up and return with the answer for them as well. Things have not changed much since being a little kid. The only difference is that Wikipedia has now replaced my folks. Wikipedia responds the same way though. It either knows the answer (which would also include made up answers that I believe), or it tells me to go find the answer somewhere else and bring it back to make an entry on the site.

Luckily, little effort was spent because little miss Wiki had the answer for me. I even found out some really fun stuff about voiceless postalveolar affricates and voiceless labiodental fricatives (which all this time I really thought was men quietly using nature's own dental floss). What I want to know is if you know what a diphthong or digraph is without looking it up first? Does your elementary education stand up to the test?

A little blog update...

Here at The Life and Times of Chester Cheetah and the Kool-Aid Gang we like to promote procrastination, but not time wasting. It occurred to me that some of you may still obsessively check back into the website multiple times during the day expending precious seconds/minutes/hours that could have been spent surfing other sites/blogging/playing video games/playing with yourself and wondering if someone validated what you thought was a rather humorous piece of writing.

Well, I thought I'd throw in a "Recent Comments" section to the sidebar, just so you don't miss any comments responding to posts that are months old. Alternatively, you can subscribe to the RSS feed both for new posts and for new comments.

And I thought the garbage problem on terra firma was bad...

I just assumed all the scolding of China about their antisatellite missile test last month was just the U.S. and other countries getting worried that Chinese military technology was getting advanced enough to challenge American weaponry. It never occurred to me to think about all the extra space debris that explosion caused. As reported in The New York Times:

In the last decade or so, as scientists came to agree that the number of objects in orbit had surpassed a critical mass — or, in their terms, the critical spatial density, the point at which a chain reaction becomes inevitable — they grew more anxious.

Early this year, after a half-century of growth, the federal list of detectable objects (four inches wide or larger) reached 10,000, including dead satellites, spent rocket stages, a camera, a hand tool and junkyards of whirling debris left over from chance explosions and destructive tests.

Now, experts say, China’s test on Jan. 11 of an antisatellite rocket that shattered an old satellite into hundreds of large fragments means the chain reaction will most likely start sooner. If their predictions are right, the cascade could put billions of dollars’ worth of advanced satellites at risk and eventually threaten to limit humanity’s reach for the stars.

Federal and private experts say that early estimates of 800 pieces of detectable debris from the shattering of the satellite will grow to nearly 1,000 as observations continue by tracking radars and space cameras. At either number, it is the worst such episode in space history.

A timely video in response to Wild Willie's last post...

If Wild Willie does the "shampoo mohawk," I'm sure he does the "shake wiener at wife and yell WOO-WOO," too. Heck, I do it (and get the same indifferent reaction from my wife).

Flirting with Danger?

Sometimes I like to flirt with danger. I flirt by speeding, not just a little, but a whole lot for a short period of time. I run red lights that I have been sitting at and find useless. I run with scissors. I have thought about eating radioactive squirrels (supposedly the EPA sent out a report to certain southern states that people should not eat squirrels because they may be radioactive). And I even let pokey Joe go without a hat every once and a while.

And I flirt with danger now. I have maintained a secret identity so far on this blog, but every now and then I must let out a little piece of it (aka MUD! - I am not the one on the bike). In this case it is another picture, but you must know that if you look at it you too will be flirting with danger because that is part of my name - Wildly Dangerous Willie (see fifth example above).

If only I had knew this in high school, I could have gotten out of calculus using a religious exemption...

I knew L. Ron Hubbard, the father of Scientology, was a little kooky, but I had no idea he had such views on calculus:

Now I hope you understand this, because I've never been able to make head nor tail of it. It must be some sort of a Black Magic operation, started out by the Luce cult -- some immoral people who are operating up in New York City, Rockefeller Plaza -- been thoroughly condemned by the whole society. Anyway, their rate-of-change theory -- I've never seen any use for that mathematics, by the way -- I love that mathematics, because it -- I asked an engineer, one time, who was in his 6th year of engineering, if he'd ever used Calculus, and he told me yeah, once, once I did, he said. When did you use it? And he said I used it once. Let me see, what did you use it on? Oh yeah. Something on the rate-of-change of steam particles in boilers. And then we went out and tested it and found the answer was wrong.

I'm now waiting for Tom Cruise to start a public outcry against NASA because of their reliance on calculus and other "bad" mathematics principles to launch vehicles into space.

I guess this is what you say when you try and make excuses about your shortcomings in science and math:

From 1930 to 1932 he attended George Washington University in Washington, D.C. Although Hubbard would later claim advanced degrees in the sciences and in civil engineering, his first year grade average was a D (below average). His second and final year was no better; he received a D in calculus and electrical and magnetic physics, and an F (failing) for molecular and atomic physics. He had no further formal education.

Alright. Enough bashing for one day.

Personally, I think I use calculus everyday, although a computer calculates the area under the curve for me. I'm not sure I even remember how to do this stuff on my own with paper and pencil anymore.