Testing your right to be an American...

This story from BBC News popped up about a revamp to the United States citizenship test. The current old exam involves questions focusing on historical facts that really only requires rote memorization. In hopes of installing a bit more civic-minded immigrant populace, though, the new test apparently will focus on more conceptual ideas about democracy and the reasons behind our specific system of government.

Some of the sample questions proposed for the new test include:

• Why does the United States have three branches of government?
• Name two rights that are only for US citizens.
• Name two cabinet-level positions.
• Name one important idea found in the Declaration of Independence.
• What does the Constitution do?
  

For comparison, I found some of the questions on the current test:

• What are the colors of our flag?
• How many stars are on our flag?
• Who is the President of the United States today?
• What is the name of the President's official home.
• Name one right guaranteed by the First Amendment.

My first reaction to this revamp of the citizenship test was that it was a good idea. Seems like we should be trying to filter the immigrant pool to those that really understand the core ideas of American democracy. After all, we're giving these people the most powerful tool of the United States called the right to vote.

But then, I started thinking about all the natural citizens who are Americans solely on the basis that they were lucky enough to be born on U.S. soil (me included). I read through a sample of 100 questions from the current test, and even I got a couple wrong. Really, who knew Form N-400 is the application for naturalized citizenship? The fact is that quite a large number of your Average Joe or Jane Americans might be at risk of failure were they subjected to this test on the street, whether it be the old test or the new. Frankly, a lot of Americans are no more deserving of their citizenship than many of the immigrants trying to get into this country on the basis of these tests alone. Instead, there seems to be this perpetuation of entitlement, sort of like a spoiled rich kid from old money, and these rights as Americans they were born with are often taken for granted.

I wonder if some people would be more tolerant to the plight of foreigners coming here to try and live the American dream if they were really aware of the challenges they have to overcome just to prove they're "worthy" of citizenship. Maybe we could make this citizenship test a requirement for all Americans, aspiring and current, with consequences of being booted out if they fail. Now wouldn't that shake things up?

For once I'm in the majority!

Never thought anyone would call me the lowest common denominator of anything, though. I feel so...unspecial.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

This guy deserves a Bill Shatner Award...

I saw this link on Pop Candy, and was quite amused. David Caruso, what an actor. Something tells me he wouldn't be quite as effective at night when the sunglasses come of. Then again, maybe he wears them all the time. After all, the sun never sets on the cool.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned or a prude...

I heard this interview of Ariel Levy on NPR the other day speaking about her new book Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture and how modern women have sort of perverted the accomplishments of the feminist movement by using provocative attire, promoscuity, and exhibitionism as evidence of their empowerment as women.

It's an odd world we live in, and seems like everyone's trying to live at the extremes sometimes. Before women couldn't even expose a little ankle without being called a whore, and now women are running around without underwear.

Wild Willie (and Fandango in a couple of months), you've got a tough road ahead when your daughters have "exceptional" role models like Lindsay Lohan to look up to:

Lindsay - who has been linked to several different famous men in recent months, including Paris Hilton's ex Stavros Niarchos - told Elle magazine: "My mum is going to kill me for speaking about sleeping with people. But I don't want to put myself in the position where I'm in a monogamous relationship right now. I'm not dating just one person. 'Sex and the City' changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people."

My wife sees Sex and the City as a highly empowering show for women, which it actually is. Unfortunately, if Ho-han's interpretation is representative, young women seem to be focusing on the part where they sleep around as the empowering aspect of the show.

When did monogamy become such a bad thing?

Sometimes, a fresh start is a good thing...

After the string of flops beginning with Moonraker and ending with License To Kill, I think a bunch of people were ready for the James Bond franchise to just die. Then came the "reboot" with Goldeneye in 1996 introducing Pierce Brosnan as the latest 007, and arguably the best since Sean Connery. Goldeneye had all the major Bond ingredients--a spectacular opening scene of Bond bungee-jumping off the top of a dam, the opening credit sequence with lots of leggy ladies and a U2-penned theme song, hot Bond babes (both good and evil), exotic locales, fast cars (even including the famed Aston Martin DB5), Division Q-crafted gadgetry, and a vodka martini or two (shaken, not stirred). Unfortunately, the last three movies sort of fell into the same trap that all the Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton-led films did--too much formula, too much preposterous technology, and too many Bond girls that were bimbos rather than having some minimal amount of brains. Not to mention all the blatant product placements: Omega watches, BMW automobiles, a tank crashing through a Heineken truck. That's in addition to the ones that were really hard to stomach such as Norelco electric shavers and Smirnoff vodka. Like Bond would really use such common-man things.

So now we can say to all the Daniel Craig haters that flocked to the internet when his casting for Casino Royale was announced, "Go eat crow!" The reimagination of James Bond with Daniel Craig may go down as one of the best. Literally reset to a time when Bond just achieved double-0 status, we get a Bond that's still developing into a well-honed killing machine. This Bond is still a bit testy, vulnerable, and a bit uncomfortable in the high class surroundings he must venture through. I had a lot of fun seeing 007 in development. They even throw in how he comes to own that vintage Aston Martin DB5, which was a total geek-out moment for me. His first meeting with CIA operative Felix Lighter, the invention of his perfect martini--what else could you ask for?

Granted, the blatant product placements were there still, which wasn't surprising considering the Sony Corporation owns MGM. At times I thought I was watching a Sony commercial when Vaio laptops, Blu-Ray discs, and Sony Ericsson phones kept showing up. They even managed to throw in a convenient set-up to showcase their Cybershot digital cameras. I was half expecting Aibo, the Sony robot dog, to make an appearance as a critical plot point. I guess they had to make room for other placements. Omega, Brioni, Virgin Atlantic. Did you catch the Richard Branson "blink and you'll miss it" cameo at the airport security checkpoint? I think I even spotted Alessandra Ambrosio--maybe there was a Victoria's Secret ad in there somewhere I missed.

The Chris Cornell theme song and opening credit sequence was a bit of a disappointment, too. I'm still waiting for something on par with the waa-waa horns of Goldfinger, Paul McCartney's Live and Let Die, or a Duran Duran's A View To A Kill. And where were all the provocative female silhouettes? That's just a Bond movie staple that you can't omit.

But back to the good stuff. I think we had all gotten tired of the stereotypical woman that just fainted over Bond, and was glad to see that formulaic piece disappear. "Oh, James!" Gag. Eva Green as Vesper Lynd was a knockout. To think that prior to Casino Royale, all I really knew about her was that she was that French girl that got really naked in The Dreamers. I think she stands up to comparison with the best of the Bond girls such as Honor Blackman/Pussy Galore in Goldfinger or Diana Rigg/Tracy di Vicenzo in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

There wasn't any Q branch mentioned in this one, but I'm glad they sort of managed to sneak a gadget in to save 007's life. It wouldn't be a Bond movie without at least one. Many comparisons to this new iteration of Bond and the Bourne Identity pictures have been made, and in some ways the similarities are there. But I think this new version of the premiere agent of MI-6 still manages to distinguish itself as a unique version of the spy genre using more subtle nuances that can only be found in a Bond film. Daniel Craig in a bespoke three piece suit holding a sniper rifle over his shoulder? What's more quintessentially 007 than that?

**** (out of *****)

Is it bad when you enjoy the opening act more than the main attraction?

So Monday, the wife and I went to The Pageant to see a sold out Death Cab For Cutie performance. The show started out kind of slow. Perhaps it was because I'm not familiar with all their tunes or maybe I was a bit grossed out by Ben Gibbard's incessant need to spit every two minutes or distracted by his total lack of serious dance moves even though he looked like he was really trying, but regardless, I found myself yawning about 10 minutes in. Luckily, things picked up and I was yelling (in a good way) by the end. Things crashed to Earth again, though, during the encore when Gibbard came out to sing "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" which normally is a very pretty tune, except that an obnoxious fat chick from the bar area decided she needed to show the audience that she was a huge fan (in more ways than one) by belting out the song in that grating, drunken, way off-tune kind of way.

The real surprise of the night for me, though, was the opening act, OK Go. Prior to this night, all I really knew about them was that they did that treadmill video and that Wander has been listening to them for awhile. Coming to The Pageant that night, neither my wife or I were really up for a concert, and we got there right at the start time of 8:00 pm rather than coming in an hour early like we normally do. I was feeling kind of old, because I actually got the feeling that I was concerted-out. Standing around in smoky music halls, squeezing in between smelly people, coming out with my ears ringing...I really was contemplating an extended hiatus from live music. Thankfully, OK Go quickly cured me out of my stupor. They were awesome! Maybe that was why I was bored by Death Cab For Cutie when they finally came on--I think I just wanted to hear more OK Go. Even my wife got a kick out of OK Go's mini-encore dance routine of "A Million Ways" (see below) that reminded her of her cheerleading days, so much so I think she started breaking out in hushed cheerleading moves right in front of me.

Snow Patrol comes to town in April, and OK Go is scheduled to open for them, as well. I can't wait...

I guess he could get Creative.

I do not know if this does much more than just piss him off. The US has for the first time ever decided to use trade sanctions against North Korea. It is directed right at Kim Jong II. The US will not be selling I-Pods (among other various things Jong likes) to North Korea.

Seeing as how the man was able to ascertain the stuff needed to build a nuke, he can probably get as many i-pods as he wants elsewhere.

It's like playing keep-away with the little underdeveloped kid in elementary school when the school yard is filled with the exact same kind of ball. Eventually the little kid will realize that those other kids are just punks, he goes to get one of the other balls, and he proceeds to concoct a plan of revenge on them involving bottle rockets and brown bags filled with poo.

The horror...

What a way to end a season. I had a glimmer of hope that perhaps the Horns might get a shot at defending their national championship at the beginning of this season, but in reality we all sort of knew that wasn't a realistic outcome. But who would have thought Texas would have collapsed so dramatically at the finish? The Kansas State loss was painful. Losing to the Aggies, though, really hurts. And in Austin, no less.

I honestly didn't get a chance to watch the game. I guess I'm glad I was able to enjoy my Friday with my folks rather than suffer through the agony of what sounded like a very frustrating four quarters of football. It amazes me after complaining all year about the pass defense, it was the Aggie rush that ended up being what beat Texas.

At this point, I really don't care what bowl game Texas goes to. These last two losses have really been deflating. I think I'll just reset, and wait for next year. In the interim, let's hope:

1. Colt McCoy's "pinched nerves" aren't permanent, and he gets back on that ever increasing learning curve he was on before the K-State game.
2. Jamaal Charles learns how to hold on to a football.
3. They give up on this crazy notion that Henry Melton can actually do anything with the ball on these short yardage situations.
4. The defensive secondary steps up and develops some skills in the off-season to play with consistency.
5. There's a big shakeup in the coaching staff, because the game plans on both sides of the ball were pretty one dimensional all year long.
   
6. Someone amongst the senior class of players takes this team by the horns, and leads.
   

ESPN's take:

It was over when... Texas quarterback Colt McCoy was intercepted at midfield by Mark Dodge with just over a minute left in the game.

Gameball goes to... Stephen McGee. The Texas A&M quarterback rushed for 95 yards, eight of them coming on the game-winning score.

Stat of the game... 244. The Aggies rushed for 244 yards against Texas, which came into the game No. 1 in the nation allowing 42 yards per game.

Now that's what I call a comic book fan...

Don't know if any of you read about this, but Dave Cockrum, the artist responsible for creating the second generation of X-Men including Nightcrawler and Colossus, died last weekend. A sad thing to read about a guy that had quite a big impact on all our childhoods, but amusing to picture how he left this world:

X-Men illustrator dies in Superman pajamas

COLUMBIA, South Carolina (AP) -- Wearing Superman pajamas and covered with his Batman blanket, comic book illustrator Dave Cockrum died Sunday.

The 63-year-old overhauled the X-Men comic and helped popularize the relatively obscure Marvel Comics in the 1970s. He helped turn the title into a publishing sensation and major film franchise.

Cockrum died in his favorite chair at his home in Belton, South Carolina, after a long battle with diabetes and related complications, his wife Paty Cockrum said Tuesday.

At Cockrum's request, there will be no public services and his body will be cremated, according to Cox Funeral Home. His ashes will be spread on his property. A family friend said he will be cremated in a Green Lantern shirt.

Take that back to your fartorium...

A little glimpse of West Texas nostalgia for the Kool-Aid Gang. Mmmmm.

Great-a Scott-a!

To think I thought Heroes was moving a bit slow when it premiered. I was jazzed by the mention of the Alamo Drafthouse last night, although I guess Harry Knowles at Ain't It Cool News thought it was pretty cool, too. This guy puts on the annual Butt-Numb-A-Thon at the original Drafthouse in downtown Austin where you basically sit in the theater for 24 hours straight watching cult movies. I could think of a quite a few other things worse than sitting in a theater eating good food, drinking Shiner Bock, and watching movies for a day.

Anywho, I noticed the Drafthouse has expanded quite a bit with four locations in Austin, and even a couple of theaters in Houston. Maybe that would compel your dad to venture out for Casino Royale, Scootypuff. Nothing like an ice cold beer to spark some spontaneity!

Getting back in the saddle

"Welcome!"...
"You've got mail!"...

I'm finally home with the convenience of cable internet access, and it feels good. My dad still uses America Online with dial-up. I'd forgotten about the three little windows that come up on startup with the the icon of the computer connecting to the running AOL man, which then lights up the picture of the Earth to signify your connection to the World Wide Web. Needless to say, I couldn't even pull up my email in a timely fashion, let alone contribute to the blog this past week. At least I was able to pick out a nice modern laptop for him at Best Buy while I was home (which will probably last him a good year before it becomes obsolete). I can only hope he finds a speedier internet provider to match his new digs.

After 2500+ miles of driving, I've got a lot to comment about. Food, the crazy maze that Austin has become, Casino Royale, the great collapse of the Texas Longhorns...just some of the topics I need to get out of my head in the coming days. Unfortunately, my Accord decided it was time to protest the abuse of my recent trek by making some horrendous squeaky sounds from the left front end that sounds suspiciously like a busted ball joint when we pulled in to Silas and Maddy's for ice cream in Scootypuff's old stomping grounds in Kansas. I suspect I'll be spending most of tomorrow at the maintenance garage, so the blog world will have to wait a bit longer.

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. Did anyone check on Wild Willie in his fartorium? Hopefully, he didn't die enjoying the aromas of his personal bouquet.

Catching up on Heroes

Here's your chance: The Sci Fi Channel will air the first six episodes Wednesday, starting at 6 p.m. ET. The network also reruns new episodes Fridays at 7 p.m. ET.

Who is Shadow Man?

Some would say it is Scootypuff, Jr. after a week long "no-shave" routine. But in this case, i'm talking about tonight's episode of Heroes.

I (Scooty) caught the last 40 minutes of tonight, quite cool. But I (Scooty) have missed the last two episodes. Any insight as to who the Shadow man with the ballcap was?

The USA Today had an article on Hiro's rise to this roll. He graduated from Brown Univ. with degrees in Math and Computer Science, a minor in theater arts. He worked for Lucas ILM, specifically on The Perfect Storm, Pirates of Carribean, and Wild Willie's Favorite the Stars Wars prequels.

He has also been in a couple movies, and TV shows. Not bad for a guy with a Math and CS degree!!!

Does anyone by chance have the past Heroes shows recorded somehow, and want to send them to me? One of you computer geniuses must have DVR'd 0r TIVO'd, right?

The lengths I go to...

So as Scootypuff noticed this weekend, I still retain my Texas plates on my car. Keeping the registration up to date is easy--just send my fees in by mail, and they send me a sticker. Unfortunately, keeping my safety inspection up to date is another matter.

I'm currently sitting in a Jiffy Lube waiting to get my car inspected. So rather than enjoying my last day in Austin, I'm wasting an hour for this crap because I'm too stubborn to switch my plates over.

I'm an idiot...

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

If that isn't a kick in the teeth...

No pictures, videos, or other things to see.

Just a simple statement: after the Horns go down to Freeman and the apparent Kansas State powerhouse last week, K State drops this week's game to Kansas, of all teams. and here's a humdinger, Kansas finshes 6-5, to possibly qualify for a bowl. i was so digusted, i coulndn't watch to see how K State's record ended up, other than their shining moment of beating Texas last week. Pathetic.

It made me want to set the prarie on fire (as the fires can rage from time to time on the prarie).
Sorry to vent, this after watching Ohio St., Notre Dame, Florida, USC all do well today.

Deep down i hope the big game is a rematch of Today's Ohio St vs Michigan game.

I guess that's one way to clear out the line...

Here's something that should get a gamer like Wander riled up. Apparently, there was a drive-by shooting in Lexington, KY involving the line of people camped outside of Best Buy to wait for the release of the Playstation 3.

Now I might understand a bottle rocket or something similar would have been funny, but shooting BB guns is quite a different matter. Luckily, most guys that would camp outside of an electronics store to be able to say they were first to get their hands on the latest gaming console from Sony probably wear glasses. As modern eyewear is typically made out of shatterproof polycarbonate these days, I'd hope no one's eye got shot out.

On a different note, the Nintendo Wii is set to be released, as well. Honestly, I'm actually a bit more excited about this game console with it's new controller. Check out the trailer for a Wii game below:

If you ever fancied yourself as a 'toon...

I had to make a double take on this picture I found on reddit. It looks like something out of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, but is actually a real room at a hotel in Berlin painted to look like a cartoon. I wonder what this would do to a baby's development if you painted a nursery like this?

So long and thanks for all the fish...

Try and Google the term "the answer to life the universe and everything" and see what you get.

Or just click on this link.

Uhhh...I'm almost tempted to boycott Fox now.

I had heard a rumor about this O.J. Simpson book awhile back, but couldn't believe it had any credibility. Guess I was wrong:

In a stunning announcement, FOX TV says it plans to interview the 59-year-old former football star and actor about "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman, for which he was acquitted in a criminal trial. (In a 1997 civil case, Simpson was found liable for the two deaths.)

The two-part, "unrestricted" interview, to be conducted by book publisher Judith Regan and called O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened, will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, says FOX, the Associated Press reports.

Where did this year go?

Hard to believe it's already November. Popular Science just put out their end-of-year list of Top Innovations for 2006. The top prize for engineering went to the "Water Cube" swimming venue for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing that's still under construction. Apparently, this structure that looks like it's made out of bubbles has no conventional beams, columns, or cables to bear the weight of the building. And the entire thing is covered in a material that's only 8/1000 inches thick!


There's also a new bridge that literally runs over the Grand Canyon with a glass floor so you can look down and try your best not to pee in your pants. Be sure to wear your brown pants when you walk over this thing.

And I said, "Geez, you gotta a big p*ssy! Geez, you gotta a big p*ssy"!"

OK. This borders on not suitable to the standards of my blog, but I guess I'm just in the mood for this kind of humor. Below is the biggest vagina on Earth...literally:

The number one gadget should have been whatever he uses for sex protection...

IGN.com put out there Top 10 list of James Bond gadgets. I can't really argue with number one and two. The Aston-Martin DB5 will always be the quintessential Bond car, and you all know my love for the Lotus Esprit, even if its submarine abilities were a bit preposterous.

But no Thunderball pocket breather?! C'mon!

I think this Red Sox - Yankees rivalry is getting a bit out of hand...

So I posted awhile back about Daisuke Matsuzaka and the almost mythical gyroball. Well, it looks like the Boston Red Sox won the bidding war at $51.1 million. 51 MILLION DOLLARS! The entire team salary for Wander's Colorado Rockies doesn't even add up to that amount of dough. I'm not sure what shocks me more--the obscene amount of dollars involved in this deal or the fact that George Steinbrenner actually got outbid.

To make this story even more astounding, if I understand this right, all that money goes back to his old team in Japan, the Seibu Lions. Why? Because that was just the cost to get the rights to talk to him, and negotiate a contract. This doesn't even include his actual salary, which is sure to be somewhere between stratospheric and low orbit. Heck, he's not even guaranteed to sign on to play Major League Baseball yet!

And you wonder why people think the money in professional sports has gotten just a wee bit insane. Maybe salary caps aren't such a bad thing. Then again, maybe this gyroball really is that cool.

I guess this is why they ask you to remain quiet around the panda exhibit at the zoo...

More reason to make out?

A natural pain killer in your spit?

Natural-born painkiller found in human saliva

Saliva from humans has yielded a natural painkiller up to six times more powerful than morphine, researchers say.

The substance, dubbed opiorphin, may spawn a new generation of natural painkillers that relieve pain as well as morphine but without the addictive and psychological side effects of the traditional drug.

When the researchers injected a pain-inducing chemical into rats’ paws, 1 gram of opiorphin per kilogram of body weight achieved the same painkilling effect as 3 grams of morphine.

The substance was so successful at blocking pain that, in a test involving a platform of upended pins, the rats needed six times as much morphine as opiorphin to render them oblivious to the pain of standing on the needle points.

Modern Art

When I say modern art, I am not referring to Yves Klein, Monochrom Blue (IKB 181), 1956 as seen on the left. Rather I am referring to the previous post and comment by Wander within that post.

I find it interesting and exciting that technology has taken us into a different place in terms of art. Photography, film, and animation have come a long way in just the last few years, and it has done so in a way that even I can get into the mix.

Art in this context is using different medium to express thoughts or emotions, and technology has allowed me to do that. I have never really done well expressing myself with poetry or with drawings. On the other hand, I do feel like I can make a video or take a photograph, and then manipulate it in a way that allows me to get a point across - even if that point is just for me. I guess that would prove true of even this blog ... most of the time my posts are just to prove a point to myself.

I think this is the saddest thing I've seen...today, at least.

DOOOOOOD!!! VENOM!!! VENOM!!! Oops. My geek side came out. Don't tell anyone you saw that...

An unfinished version of a Spiderman 3 trailer from some recent Comic Con. A little longer than the one that was just released last week, and at the very, very end? VENOM!!! WOOHOO!!! Why can't all comic book movies be this good? Take a look (from Ain't It Cool News):

It was fun while it lasted.

The Texas defense...

SUCKS!

Maybe I'm not giving enough credit to Kansas State. But to pull out a word a guy in college used a lot, the Longhorn defensive secondary was abysmal, as they have been most of the year.

I guess it was too good to be true that all the pieces for a return to the BCS championship game were falling into place. But there's some really weird voodoo go on out there. Can anyone remember the last time there were so many crazy upsets (and close calls) like this season? After this week, Rutgers has a slim chance to get to the championship game?! Crazy...

You gotta feel bad for Colt McCoy, too. I can only assume his season is finished the way he was grimacing and protecting that right shoulder on the bench. I guess there's always next year.

The ESPN summary:

It was over when... Kansas State recovered an onside kick with just over a minute to go after Texas scored to cut the deficit to three points.

Gameball goes to... Josh Freeman. The K-State quarterback threw for 266 yards and three touchdowns and also ran for another score.

Stat of the game... 3:06. The Wildcats offense scored three times in a 3:06 span in the third quarter, including a call of back-to-back trick plays.

360 Degrees of Kicking Ass!

After getting a nice fat bonus from my company yesterday, I decided to take the plunge, and bought an XBox 360 finally. I had held out for so long, but then an undeniable force of pure pleasure came along for it... Gears Of War
Maybe you've seen the incredible commercial for it on television. I was pretty much ready to buy a 360 just for that game alone, but I decided to wait for the reviews... And it of course is the highest rated console game of the year! So basically, I had to. There was no free will involved. After playing it until almost 3 in the morning, I can say it has an incredible story line, the graphics are better then anything I've seen on console OR computer... And, well, you have a gun with a chainsaw... Does it get better?

Now that's what I call a movie tie-in...

Her Majesty's Secret Service putting out gloom and doom analysis of the terror threat today? I don't recall seeing MI5 in the headlines all that often, and especially not stuff prominently endorsed by the Prime Minister.

Casino Royale opens next week. Hmmmm. Granted, James Bond was part of MI6, but still. Coincidence?

Lactose intolerance. It's a bummer...

Couldn't leave you all for the weekend without some poop humor:

He's marinating in his own Ragu!

Suddenly, my boring little Honda Accord feels even more pathetic...

In case anyone was still unconvinced that Formula 1 is the superior racing league, consider these facts (from Funny Junk):

• An F1 car is made up of 80,000 components. If it were assembled 99.9% correctly, it would still start the race with 80 things wrong!
• When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph!
• An F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!
• F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up. On the other hand, we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20 years on average and they quite faithfully DO. That's the extent to which the engines are pushed to perform.
• An average F1 driver loses about 4 kg of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour.
  
• At 550 kg, an F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.
• To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added down force can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.
• Without aerodynamic down force, high-performance racing cars have sufficient power to produce wheel spin and loss of control at 160 kph. They usually race at over 300 kph.
• In a street course race like the Monaco Grand Prix, the down force provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening.
• The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 liters of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 liter family car. They use the same refueling rigs used on US military helicopters today.
• Top F1 pit crews can refuel and change tires in around 3 seconds. It took me 8 seconds to read above point.
• During the race the tires lose weight! Each tire loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.
  
• Normal tires last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km.
• A dry-weather F1 tire reaches peak operating performance (best grip) when tread temperature is between 900C and 1200C. Water boils boils at 100C, remember. At top speed, F1 tires rotate 50 times a second.

Lip syncing is underrated...

Ever know anyone who had the incredible skill of singing every note off key? Typically, these are the ones that actually like to sing in public (and rather loudly to boot) like the world was their own shower. Next time this happens, make them take this test to prove to them that they are truly tone deaf.

Maybe even better than staying at a Holiday Inn Express...

Looks like all these years I've devoted to the study of medicine were a waste of time. Apparently, anyone with enough curiosity and an internet connection can do a reasonably good job of diagnosing disease with the help of Google.

Dr Tang and Dr Ng selected 26 difficult cases presented in the New England Journal of Medicine, including Cushing's syndrome, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, encephalitis and cirrhosis.

They then plugged the symptoms of each case into the search engine to come up with a diagnosis.

When these diagnoses were compared with the correct published diagnoses, the researchers found that Google got it right 58 per cent of the time.

The article goes on to say:

Doctors have been estimated to carry 2 million facts in their heads to help them to diagnose disease, the researchers say.

Unfortunately, sometimes I feel like I've replaced 1.5 million of those slots with useless trivia that I find to put on this blog!

Maybe this is what we need in Iraq...

I have no idea what this video was made for, but the police robot kind of reminded me of the Japanese manga Appleseed.

Oh yeah. Check out the new Spiderman 3 trailer, too. Awesome!

Do you think the original Bevo tasted good?

Here are the top 25 mascots in college football. I pretty much agree with Bevo's number three ranking, but how did the Stanford Tree make it into the elite?

Science! Dammit! I should really watch more South Park...

Considering Comedy Central forced YouTube to remove all their content, I can't imagine this video will last long.

Anywho, evolved talking otters--perhaps this is what Willy Peter or Joey Waters would look like (Scooty should know what I'm talking about). This is a full episode of South Park, but just check out the opening Buck Rogers montage at the beginning of the show if you're strapped for time.

South Park 1013 - Go God Go XII
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Definitely not a children's book...

Why is it that I automatically thought of Wankmaster Scratch when I saw this book?

Talk about a blow to your ego...

It's one thing to lose an election. And based on post-election analyses, today's shift in Congressional power wasn't necessarily because the Democratic candidates were so desirable. Rather, the American people wanted to show their distaste for the current GOP leadership.

However, nothing really exemplifies this more than losing to a dead candidate:

Dead Woman Wins Election
November 09, 2006

MARIE Steichen died two months ago but she still beat a Republican in a battle to become a county commissioner for a small South Dakota town in the US elections.

Jerauld county auditor Cindy Peterson said that the election list closed on August 1, and while Ms Steichen died from cancer in September her name was kept on the list for yesterday's election.

Ms Steichen beat a Republican rival by 100 votes to 64 and Ms Peterson said she believed that voters knew the woman was dead but wanted to make their political point.

It's about time...

I was a bit surprised by the announcement of Donald Rumsfeld's "resignation" today, but also optimistic that we might get a new perspective on the war in Iraq and solutions to a big mess.

I don't know much about Robert Gates, and I'll refrain from any Aggie jokes here. Let's hope his background in intelligence will translate into real intelligence when it comes to reshaping a resolution to our involvement in Iraq.

Anywho, here's a story from Texas Monthly about Robert Gates and his work as President at Texas A&M University to give you some perspective about him.

Football makes me happy ...

but not this happy.

(ht: The Michigan Zone)

Election Day

My ballot is in. Kind of strange using these new electronic voting machines. It felt like I was buying tickets for a movie.

Kind of a sad day for me, really. I just wasn't enthusiatic about any of the candidates. Given the stack of junk mail from candidates yesterday. I was almost tempted to vote solely on the person who sent me the least crap--I'm probably going to throw my back out just hauling all the leaflets and DVDs (yes, DVDs) to my recycle bin. Unfortunately, I got just as much junk from both major parties, and I knew nothing about the two or three Libertarians on the ballot.

Any of you more enthusuastic at the polls?
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How to defend yourself with apples...

Remember back when we were young, and Scootypuff kept trying to make bottle rocket launchers out of PVC pipe? This sort of reminds me of those weekend/summer projects of his, but only more successful. Check out The Johnny:

I'll bet Beck is the life of any Thanksgiving dinner party...

The next time I ever sit down to eat with you guys, don't be alarmed if I break out into plate drumming at the table. Clap hands!

I just when I think I'm out, they keep pulling me back in...

Somehow, I seemed to have entered the Twilight Zone Saturday night, and forgot the Horns were playing until the game was well over. Perhaps I wasn't ready to see another fiasco like the Texas Tech game last week. Who knows. Based on what I've read, though, I'm feeling pretty bummed that I didn't get to see what sounds like a phenomenal surgical strike leashed upon the Oklahoma State Cowboys. To say I was shocked that this was such a one-sided victory is an understatement. Only 123 passing yards by OSU? Did the Texas secondary really step up, or did Bobby Reid just buckle under the pressure?

At the pace he's going, I wouldn't be surprised if Colt McCoy breaks every record at UT before he even gets to his junior year. This guy is certainly putting a new spin on the word overachiever. 69% completion rate. 27 touchdowns. Only 4 interceptions. QB rating of 172.1. If he wasn't putting on such phenomenal performances this late in the year, I'd be tempted to say those numbers were skewed by the pushover teams the Horns faced early in the season. Let's just hope this learning curve doesn't decide to peak any time soon.

I'd pretty much given up hope that Texas could crawl back up the BCS standings to get to Glendale. But things seem to be falling into place that just might make that a realistic ending, assuming UT wins out and wins out big. I can easily see Louisville dropping a game to Rutgers or Pitt. Michigan loses to Ohio State, Texas jumps to #2 on the BCS, and it's a rematch against the Buckeyes in Arizona.

Anywho, ESPN's take on the Oklahoma State game:

It was over when... Texas quarterback Colt McCoy fired a pair of touchdowns in a span of 51 seconds, sandwiched around a Cowboy fumble on a kickoff.

Gameball goes to... McCoy. The freshman QB threw for three touchdowns and a career-high 346 yards on 23-of-29 passing.

Stat of the game... 27. McCoy broke the school record for touchdown passes with 27, passing Vince Young (2005) and Chris Simms (2002).

First that N'Sync guy, now this? Prepubescent girls around the world continue to be devastated...

Neil Patrick Harris is gay. Shocking.

Hmmm. You think there were any clues to his sexual orientation before? See picture on left...

I have no point to this post...

Now I know the White House is denying any relation to the timing of Saddam Hussein's verdict today and the midterm elections just two days away, but it is kind of fishy. Is this the magic November surprise Karl Rove has been waiting to spring on the American public? Given the new sex and drugs scandal of Ted Haggard and the recent revelations of Mark Foley, I'm not sure the GOP can come up with anything to keep themselves from falling into a big black hole of moral hypocrisy right now.

Well, at first, I thought perhaps they'd pull out a freshly captured Osama bin Laden tomorrow, but I think they're keeping that under wraps until the 2008 Presidential election.

And over an hour better than Diddy Runs the City...

As you all probably know, Lance Armstrong ran the New York City Marathon today, finishing just under his goal of three hours. From The New York Times:

Seven-time Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong finished his first marathon in a hair under three hours. Armstrong crossed the finish line 2:59:36, easily making his goal of finishing within an hour of the men's winner.

"That was, without a doubt, the hardest physical thing I've ever done," Armstrong said after the race.

Comparing his marathon experience to his cycling success Armstrong said, "even the worst days on the tour, nothing was as hard as that. Nothing left me feeling the way I do now." Armstrong said he shins started hurting around mile 12 or 13, and his legs felt heavy as he ran through Harlem. With three miles to go in the race, Armstrong said he stopped caring if he could meet his personal goal of finishing under three hours, the pain was so intense.

Armstrong finished the marathon 856th.

Can you imagine if you were one of those 855 people that beat Lance Armstrong? I know running and cycling aren't the same thing, but I'd think it would still be quite a boost to one's ego to be able to say you beat a guy who's won arguably the most demanding professional sports event, the Tour de France, seven times.

Consider the Facts

Most of the time people feel that they should side with one political party or another because it will idealistically help to create a government more closely related to their own thoughts and views. If you are Chuck Norris, however, it is not quite so clear why he would support a certain party. He would have nothing to gain because he already has it all. His thoughts and views are already widely accepted, and they will ultimately be accepted by all. Consider the facts:

• We really live in a Chucktatorship.
• He can beat up any and everybody with one roundhouse kick.
• And he can even fly into outerspace.

What would Chuck gain from supporting a politician? I offer the following answer. Pure freindship with no strings attached. Yeah, I think thats what it is.

I think that most will find this humorous ...

Lightsaber Blues (and greens, and yellows, and...)

This is hands down the coolest fan film I've seen! These guys must have money to burn...
Enjoy!

The health benefits of a good 'ol roll in the sack...

As we begin to enter the heart of the cold and flu season, remember, sex is good for you! Think of it as a good dose of vitamin C on those chilly winter mornings...

It's slices, dices, peels, cuts, and even wets a babies bed!

Well, actually it does none of those things, but it certainly looks like it should. No, this is not some new Cylon weapon from Battlestar Galactica. It's the Dyson Root 6 portable vacuum cleaner. I'm not sure I ever complained that my old DustBuster lost suction, but just in case you were looking for a gift for mom or dad...

I must be nuts...

I just got a new BlackBerry Pearl yesterday. This is a test post from my new phone. As if I needed more ways to procrastinate. To think I haven't picked up a pen or pencil in three days. Whenever WW3 comes around with the EMP blast, I'll really be lost.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Abracadabra! HC? Physics!

Some of my fondest memories from childhood came from seeing David Copperfield with my dad. Given his ability to make the Statue of Liberty disappear and walk through the Great Wall of China, the occassional visit by the master of illusions through West Texas was always seemed like a pretty big deal. Granted, his showmanship was a bit over the top at times and maybe a bit too fabulous in that Liberace sense, but there was always something a bit more nostalgic to his magic compared to his contemporaries like Penn & Teller. David Copperfield's illusions seemed to harken back to the classic magicians who were all about flashy distractions and selling the magic. So I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that I found David Copperfield listed as one of the magic consultants on The Prestige as I sat through the ending credits yesterday.

Set in London around the turn of the twentieth century, The Prestige follows the antagonistic relationship between Rupert Angier (Hugh Jackman) and Alfred Borden (Christian Bale), two rising stage magicians who have built up a bitter feud around the death of Angier's wife. I won't say much more about the plot. Nicola Tesla (David Bowie) has a prominent place in this story, which, if I knew more about the history between him and Thomas Edison, I probably would have geeked out about more. The movie takes some concentration to follow as director Christopher Nolan harkens back a little to his Memento days with his use of a nonlinear timeline. And like an intricate magic trick, The Prestige moves in a way that has you set-up and still trying to figure out all the details by the time the final act comes around. The final reveal make come as a disappointment, but so does any magic trick when you figure out how they really did it.

Christian Bale continues to prove that he can create a character subtley different than any other role he has done before. Think about it. He's gone from psychopath narcissistic serial killer in American Psycho, to reluctant dragonslayer in Reign of Fire, to paranoid insomniac in The Machinist, to revenge-seeking Dark Knight in Batman Begins. I'm really digging his work. Hugh Jackman isn't half bad either as an obsessed man hell bent on getting the best of his rival in his quest for revenge.

Rounding out the cast is a typically good performance by Michael Caine on cruise control, and Scarlett Johansson playing the magician's assistant in a role that tries to develop a love triangle that never really takes off and probably wasn't necessary except for one important plot point.

I'm a bit surprised that more movies about magic aren't made. Perhaps with all the flashy special effects and split second edits of today, magic tricks don't captivate audiences quite like they used to. Too bad. I think there's something to be said about a carefully developed illusion that takes its time to develop. Go see The Prestige and remind yourself what it's like.

**** (out of *****)

And I thought it was only the Frack Me Elmo Dolls

Lego Says It's Running Out of Toys for Christmas

COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) -- Children hoping to get Lego toys for Christmas may be in for a disappointment. The Danish toy maker is having a hard time keeping up with demand for its popular plastic building blocks as toy stores stack their inventories for the Christmas season, company officials said Tuesday.

"Many of our most popular products are sold out," Lego spokeswoman Charlotte Simonsen said. "As part of efforts to restructure the company and focus on our core business, we had to make some cuts and the company has not had time to readjust its production."

Simonsen declined to say how many orders had been turned down, but said the restructuring changes had affected the production of Duplo bricks and boxes with Lego City, Star Wars and Lego Technik sets.

Boersen, Denmark's leading financial newspaper, estimated that Lego could lose 750 million kroner ($127 million) because of lost Christmas sales. But Mads Nipper, a vice president at Lego in charge of marketing, said that figure was too high.

As long as the Bionicle's aren't affected I think they will do alright.

Web 2.0 Fever Infects the Government

I'm not exactly sure if I think this is a brilliant idea or a complete disaster in the making. Apparently, the U.S. intelligence community has unveiled Intellipedia, their own internal version of a Wikipedia. The idea seems to have it's merits, but it also seems like it could easily be soiled by misinformation.

Whatever happened to real research? I like Wikipedia as much as the next guy to look up information fast and to get a skeleton undertstanding of random things, but I certainly wouldn't cite it as a source of information when I'm writing a manuscript to submit to a scientific journal. Actually it kind of scares me that some low ranking CIA analyst will be slapping together a report based on this.

Hopefully, we won't be heading in to invade North Korea based on intelligence gleaned from a Wiki. Then again, we're in Iraq right now. How can the intelligence get any worse?

John Kerry, What Were You Thinking?

I can say that I have never really been affiliated with one party or another. I can also say that my default would be leaning toward a Republican platform, but this doesn't mean that I will always side with Republicans. I believe that Democrats can have some conservative roots as well. What John Kerry said, though, yesterday has caused me to side with the Republicans. What a massive blunder on his part leading up to mid-term elections. Aren't politicians supposed to be a little more polished than this. Heck, even if I thought it, I wouldn't ever voice it.