"verily, it tied the room together"

I am a fan of both "The Big Lebowski" and Shakespeare. Adam Bertocci reworked the Big Lebowski script to Shakespearean. Examples of reworked characters:
The Dude becomes "The Knave"
Walter is "Sir Walter"
Jesus is "Joshua Quince, a pederast"

Good reading for this weekend.

find the adaptation at - http://runleiarun.com/lebowski/

Lebowski Line: "You see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seat's up man!"
Shakespearean version: "Zounds, man. Look at these unworthiest hands; no gaudy gold profanes my little hand. I have no honour to contain the ring. I am a bachelor in a wilderness. Behold this place; are these the towers where one may glimpse Geoffrey, the married man? Is this a court where mistresses of common sense are hid? Not for me to hang my bugle in an invisible baldric, sir; I am loathe to take a wife, or she to take me until men be made of some other mettle than earth. Hark, the seat of my commode be arisen!"


Lebowski Line - Jesus: "Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any your crazy sh*t with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the f*cking trigger till it goes "click"."
Shakespearean version - Quince: "Well; but be forewarn’d. It reach’d mine ears That combustible Walter, o’ercome with rage Did shed good sense, and raise his sword in play. I fear not such jade’s tricks, an seeing ill, Would snatch the burden from the jealous knight And pierce his gizzard with the wrongful steel, Points up, as said of Coriolanus."


Lebowski line - Walter: "Is this your homework, Larry?"
Shakespearean version - Sir Walter: "Is this thy parchment, Laurence? "